Hi folks! Happy New Year to all of you. Hope you had a blast. And hope that this new year brings in lots of joy and happiness. : )
It's my first post of this new year. I thought it should be a little light-hearted one. I hope you like it.
ps: This post is complete fiction! Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. If this resmbles your life in any way do contact me. We will have lots to discuss. : ).Scene: Son has returned home after spending the night out. He gets inside the house and without saying a word goes in to his room and goes for a bath. His mother is very upset that he's spent the night out and wants to find out what he's been up to. So she picks up his wallet and takes a look inside. She finds a condom! Below is the conversation that takes place between Mother, Father & Son. I've used M,F & S for ease of typing.
M: You know what I found when I looked inside Amit's wallet?
F: Please Lakshmi! Stop it! Give the boy his freedom. Stop snooping around.
M: Yes, give the boy his freedom! And see how he abuses that freedom! [Shows condom to Dad]
F: My God! You found that in his wallet?
M:Yes!
F: Well, I don't know what to say or do. I feel cheated.
M: You will confront him. Don't just sit on it like you did when you found out he's been smoking.
F: Yes, it's high time we had a talk with him and made it clear that he's crossed the line.
Son enters the room.
M: You lying scoundrel! You cheat! You disgust me!
S: What's happening? What's all the fuss about?
F: We found this! [Pulls out condom]
S: Where did you find it?
M: That's not important.
S: You searched my wallet didn't you? When will you people learn to respect my privacy!
M: Respect your privacy? We gave you so much freedom. See how you've abused that freedom and betrayed us.
F: I'd like to respect your freedom son. But, I have to agree with your mother on this one.
S: I cannot agree. You have infringed on my privacy.
M: The nerve of you! You think roaming about with this[points at condom] is the right thing?
S: Well, would you rather that I not use it?
F: We are asking you to refrain from the act where you will need to use it.
S: Why? The law is cool with it. Why are you folks having such a problem with it?
M: Have you no respect for our culture? Our traditions? We brought you up to respect these things.
S: Well, my culture and traditions taught me nothing about sex. I had to find out about it on my own.
F: What do you mean?
S: Remember Dad, long time back, when I was a kid, I asked you how babies are born. And you said that the mother & father get together and pray really hard and that's how babies are born. I lived with that lie till I was 14. Only then I found out the truth!
F: Well, you were too small to understand the truth.
S: I agree. But I had to find out someday. You do want grand-children don't you?
M: My God! Look how he's talking back!
F: Lakshmi, please, let's handle this like mature adults!
S: Thanks Dad, I appreciate that. When I found out the truth I didn't confront both of you. I knew it was a sensitive topic and one that cannot be discussed with parents. I understood that. I respect that.
M: Come back to the point. So why are you carrying this thing[points to condom] in your wallet?
S: I keep it in there so because I don't want you to know about it. It's not like a pen or paper that I can keep on my table. Let's face it... sex is a sensitive topic and being too open about it is not cool. And these are the kind of things you want to hide from your folks.
M: Why must you hide anything from us?
S: Amma you want me to be completely honest with you about everything? Like should I discuss my first-night with you?
F: Son, I think you're stepping the line.
S: It's an honest question Dad. Can I discuss that with you? No na. It's inappropriate. There are some things that you need to keep hidden.
F: All right, you made your point. You can find out about sex. But where's the need to practise it?
S: Dad would you have allowed me to drive a car on the highway after reading about it? I had to practise it first and then only go on the main roads. I learnt to drive and only then did I learn what kind of car I like, how I like to drive and things like that.
M: Muruga! Look how he talks!
F: Why can't you wait and get that experience with your wife?
S: Supposing I'm bad? Or she's bad? Or we are just incompatible? Isn't it better to find out things first before going in to marriage. Marriage is a big-big commitment.
M: But what will your wife think? How will she be able to trust you?
S: I'll be honest with her. I think that's extremely important in a marriage. Similarly if she's not a virgin I'd like to know first. I'm k with it if she's not a virgin. But, I want her to be honest with me.
M: Aiyo Rama! Why didn't I die before this day!
S: Marriage has to be built on trust Ma. I've learnt this from you two only. I'm just applying it to my life.
F: Trust is important. But some traditions are too!
S: Right Dad. And so what? The astrologer will tell me if this girl will be a good mate for me? The stars will reveal if this girl is a virgin or not? Tradition or trust? Most people fake things nowadays. You know it.
M: We'll find a 'pure-girl' for you.
S: Ya right, you're going to do a full body check up on her? And Mom, these days there are corrective surgeries. You won't know the truth even after checkin her thoroughly.
F: K, let's move away from this. I want you to understand that sex is a very sensitive thing.
S: I agree Dad.
F: Yes it has many consequences. You could get your partner pregnant. You could contract sexual diseases. It could have social consequences for you and your partner.
S: I agree Dad. That's why I use a condom and that's why I'm discreet about it.
Mother and Father are stumped!
45 comments:
Hmmm... You have brought out the voice of the defiant son pretty nicely. I am still with the parents on certain parts when he vehemently advocates his stand with an argument such 'I need to experience everything until I am good'. Perhaps, I am old fashioned.
Nevertheless, the son's attitude and the parents' reservations have come out very nicely.
that was interesting, but i would have liked it if more if it were argument with a daugter
HAHAHHAHAHHAH :D
the dad is so adorable in his frustation! :D
_Aiyo Muruga_ !!!
indeed!
Although there is humor in this post, there is also a very important message of how parents need to educate children on the nuances of sex.
We could either continue to live in our age old stupid realm of calling it a taboo and lose the youth to a lot of problems or redefine the manner in which we talk about it and save our posterity from a whole lot of mess!
Very good post AJ! Awesome start!
Have a rocking year ahead!
Theres an impotant message in the post, which is very essential for todays youth.
A very happy new year to you Ajai!!
smiling at the mention of thing:)
But I agree to the parents..everything cant be tried to experience..the way you dont choose your parents or children..because these trials never ensure anything if they were then there wouldnt be more divorces in west..
Nobody would like to drink poison to see whether it kills or not.
Our culture of being sensitive and not too upfront about everything is very good and sweet, we must never abandon it.
Happy new year to u as well...
Thats worthy..
@VP
Happy New Year bro. Sorry for not keeping up with your blog. Yes things have been kind of hectic. Will try and have a look up soon.
Back to my post. Don't see me as the son. But just for the sake of argument let's take your point. The guy is not saying 'he wants to experience everything until he's good'. He's saying that he understands that marriage is a big-big commitment and whether we want to admit it or not sex is a big part of marriage. now would you go out and buy a car without learning how to drive? only after learning to drive will you know what kind of car will suit you. that's the kind of argument i was trying to bring forth. sorry if i didn't word it properly.
@US
He he... nice thought. Gosh.. I just hope I never find a condom in my daughter's purse. ;)
@Chhaya
Nice ah? Glad you liked it. Aiyo Muruga! :)
@Raks
Happy New Year to you too bro. Thanks for appreciating this post. Yes i wanted to bring out the fallacy with which we all live. I hope I did that.
@Sana
Thanks. Happy New Year to u too. Ya there's a msg. But I'd like to see it more as an argument. Kind of completely rational thing. I hope it comes across as that.
@Antarman
I was waiting to see your response to this. I didn't think you'd leave a response. I'm glad you did.
Yes it's high time we come out of the closet. But we need to do it in a respectful and sensitive way. I'm glad u understand that. Your children are very lucky. :)
@Escapist
Thank you. Happy new year to you too! :)
Thank you for liking this post. :)
@Antarman
I have a question to you if you will permit me to ask. I want to know why sex should be compared to poison and not to driving? How can you be selctive about it?
Divorce rates are higher in the west only because women are more empowered. This is what I feel atleast. That point has been used to defend arranged marriages over love marriages also. It's not a valid point because women are just not on the same footing as men here. We have to move to a society where there is more choice. We will make mistakes... but we have to be positive and hope that people learn from their mistakes. That's the way I feel we should go about it.
Very descriptive ! I dont have the guts to write anything about like this. But still I feel I am with Vittal in this...
People were marrying and leading life happily earlier and even now tooo... Its just the definition of the freedom has changed. Things which were taboo earlier have now become "Oh-that-I-have-done-it" sort.
You would certainly agree that there might be times in future when we would be astonished seeing our children's life.
Condoms are like Nukes, cud be for constructive as well as destructive purposes. the one who uses it should be in a sane position before, while and after using it. ;)
I liked amit's straightforwardness with his parents. God, I wished to be like that....
Good going and thanks for dropping by in my blog
i think the dad needs to get laid lol..the son is cool...condom is cool..and your post too
Hey brother,
I have got that point completely and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your narration. The message is quite clear. Actually, the point in this story is that people think within a certain limit and there is a taboo in thinking beyond that limit (and perhaps termed as sin to do so). The perspectives the son brings in are right on his part, but the parents are not exposed to such lateral thinking. In fact, I liked the defiance the son portrays in this story. :-)
Ajai.... you got me laughing after i read this post.. you got real guts to talk bout something like this.. i mean in India, its still a taboo to talk about sex.. that too sex b4 marriage is almost the worst sin.. but then times are changing.. you have made your point pretty clear.. but i still wonder how will we indians manage to balance values and personal quirks....
haha ROFTL on ur comparison of driving a car on highway to taht of practising sex LOL!!
A typical indian scene :) if any director finds out it would be defn on a movie. Lovely writing :)
and hey.. very creative title
Reading a sensible thing about sex is always interesting. And this was a brilliantly woven conversation about the "sensitive issue". People should read and understand it..
@Tongue Trip
Why does the Dad need to get laid? Hmmm... you have a very naughty mind. ;)
Thanks for finding the post 'cool'. And 'condoms were always cool'. ;)
@VP
Glad you got it. :)
@Sujith
Maybe we should all open our minds a bit more to reason before following our parents and tradition blindly. I'm not against following parents... but we need to form an opinion for ourselves.
Also pls look at the reply I gave to Vittal's first comment. Welcome here. :)
@Chital
Don't bother about the rest of India. I think we should all be clear in our heads. Then we can guide others or whatever. But get things clear in our heads first. Most ppl don't think of these things. They just accept it as God's word. Silly.
I'm glad you found it funny. :)
@Srivats
I'm not sure we'll see any Indian movie with a scene like that. At least not in the immediate future. ;)
Thanks for liking it. :)
@Darshan
Thank you. You seem to have got the post in totality. Thanks. :)
:-) Nice conversatons there. Wish you too a very happy new year Bro.
humorous post with a very important message. Thanks for dropping by my side :)
Nice way of bringing out a topic bro... Its high time we stopped talking abt sex is hush hush silence. It's important for a child to have a clear mind. And its important that people have the ability to use their senses rather than blindly follow unwritten notions of acceptable behavior.
way to start off the new year :)
@Ajeya
Thanks Bro. You too. :)
@An Ordinary Gal
Thanks. Welcome here. And just because this question has been banging inside my head for sometime... is that you in the pic? :P
@Issam
Yes... I totally agree. People need to be more objective. Times are chaging and have changed. We have new realities. We need to accept the changes and change accordingly.
well that comes very straight..i wish things were really that easy when confronting reserved parents that too on such an issue..
a nice take...kewl buddy!!
thanks for dropping by my blog and joining it..keep visiting :)
Happy New year dear..first of all!!
And kudos. lovely...loved ur post...with the title perfect..!!
"The stars will reveal if this girl is a virgin or not?" Man!! I loved this line the best...:-)
Seeing the arguments above.... in te comments column, i would like to add .. I go with the son, thats what eventually every one wants - but get tied up with words like tradition and customs and values...or whtever...and dont give try to experience or discuss with parents...
Hoping this year brings more good stuffs to read on ur Take..
that was a nice write up..:0 thanks for followin me.U definetly are a tamilian aint it?? CAuz i am one too..:) ur writing says it all!
Call it traditional or backward thinking or whatever. I dont feel there is a need to practise it is not cricket or some game.
Where has spontainity gone for god's sake ;-)
Studies have said that when people mate they get emotionally attached so they advise caution in choosing partner it is not like practicing stretching.
So casual sex is something not warranted and however on a lighter note there are absolutely lots of shops out there in the city and there is no need to carry one in the wallet anyways, one avoid these arguments that way :-)
@vishal jindal
totally accept that. it's fiction. don't expect any parents to actually be willing to discuss and listen to stuff like this. it's a point of view. that's all. welcome here. :)
@sh...
hey there! long time. thanks for liking this post. well we are generally a very superstitious lot. not too smart abt things in general. sometimes we need to think things out. glad u get tht point. and ya i hope i get better as the year goes by. :)
@Madhu
Welcome here. Well I'm not tamil, but close... i'm malayalee. I stay in Chennai. So a lot of tamil influence. Hope u enjoyed the post. :)
Buddy if you are looking for spontaneity then how can u say marriage will give you that?
Your response is a typical Indian boy response. I don't mean it as an insult. I'm not in favor of many of the things I've written either. But let's think things out aloud shall we? People get married... primarily to have sex and to have children. All the other stuff comes only from this primal objective. Now in a time when we are learning so many things about ourselves, isn't it also important to learn about our sexuality? Maybe you don't think so, but to me sex is going to be an extremely important part of my life. And I want to be able to enjoy it. Now supposing I get married to a girl who doesn't enjoy sex as much as I do, then a problem arises and there will always be conflict. We see manifestations of this everywhere. It is not that this is happening only now. It's been happening for ever and ever. Only now do we have the necessary science and freedom to back our knowledge.
So in such a scenario isn't it better to discuss and try out what sex will suit you? isn't it better to know yourself? You might say that not required. Ignorance is bliss after all. But if you want to come up with a rational argument i'm willing to back myself.
and lastly... boyo... you've obviously not been in a position where you've needed to use a condom. having to go around looking for it when u need it is a really irritating and agonizin experience. it's better to keep one in ur wallet... so that you're never found wanting. ;)
Now that's some kick off to a new year. Honestly, I don't know how many people would actually have the guts to say all that to their parents. Maybe it is just fiction.
Let's make this more interesting -- let's trade the son for a daughter :)
Very relevant as we step into a new decade! :)
Learning about sex is onething and wanting to try out on every other or some person whether they are compatible is crazy.
We have the capability of judging who would be a good mate without sex. There is lot we dont how we choose out partner using many parameters before going full throttle. For eg their face- the symmetry of their face, the sweat and smell they give out, and people are attracted to towards creative people (or else how would Salman Rushdie get Padma laksmi)
These are qualities that are in born in us when dont realize we have them. All this factors play a major role in the survival of species.
So there is absolute no need to try it out on people every time for choosing a mate.
great post! Real-life conversation.
@ANC
Ya, some others have suggested swapping the son for a daughter. Not sure how that conversation will go. Not sure if I want to know either. ;). We'll find out in this decade. That's for sure.
@Venky
I still don't agree with you. But let's leave it at that. To each his own. :)
@Nitin
He he. Thanks. :)
Aiyo Muruga!
wehere r u?
@Chhaya
Aiyo... my comp crashed... just got it back. Have lots to catch up on. Will do so asap. :)
we cant compare it to driving for multiple reasons..driving isjust a trait you know or dont know, do it well or even dont drive..its not going to make such a difference to your life.and there is nothing private about it.
marriage is not about sex only, and compatibility in sex may be important but it can be acquired also..but maariage is about many other things..mental compatibility and your partner's respect for your family(specially for boys)..are much more important for a harmonious family life.
See west gives more importance to personal satisfactions and where they are...big on divorces..
Its a very complex issue and I can write reams about it.
I have seen many couple's divorce even after love marriage..so wouldnt say they are better..though you are right that they are due to women's empowerment..then arent we using the freedom wrongly?..I think a combination of arranged cum love are better, marriage has a better chance,with parental support.So one should never be complacent about their consent.
with today's scenario..I would go with a prenuptial contract for certain things..An stable marriage is better for the individual and for the society.
Tria in this aspect wont make any difference to your marriage, becuase this is just one aspect of life, one cant base marriage on this.
really interesting..lol
Goot one AJ, humorous and well written Great going, not getting enough time to blog these days, keep up the good work !!!!!
hey! Just stumbled upon your blog and by the looks of it a lot of people loved the story.
To me it was a relief that there are some liberals around!
Oh and I actually think the 'son' (wink wink) was very responsible. What is really unconfortable is when your grandma asks you if you have a condom before the 3rd date.
Now that is weird!
Keep it going! Hey- I blog too at http://ulob1985.blogspot.com/ take a look.
Cheers!
@Antarman
I'm still not convinced. I don't think we're misusing our freedom if we want out of an unhappy marriage. I feel falling in love is an important part of life. One that everyone should experience. We kind of by pass that through arranged marriages. It's not wrong. It's obvious that some arranged marriages work very well. Maybe we are all conditioned that way. But I think having to find one's love is an important part to the life experience. One that hopefully everyone should undertake. People will make mistakes. That's part of life. But one shouldn't desist because of that.
@Tripat
Thanks. :)
@Deepak
Thanks. Glad you liked it. :)
@KG
Hey thanks. Will check out your blog. Glad you enjoyed the post. :)
I also believe that falling in love is an ultimate feeling, and both my children have married for love only, but they knew certain guidlines from their childhood about what to do and look for in a life partnerand what not to do, but still everything cant be planned by human beings, there is something like God who disposes what we propose..but I dont believe in physical relationships before marriage, as I feel they bring much more complications in life, than make anything better.
I may not be right, and may be proved wrong with time, but thats what i am convinced, as you can see not many marriage are stable today in the people who do what they want without any restrictions and I dont think that multiple marriages are good neither for society nor for an individual..you cant feel the pain of children who grow up with multiple parents and an hybrid family..as an individul we must see for something which is good for all, not foor an individual only..today you are single, so you are thinking only about urself..but I am thinking about the long term effect....
Can you even imagin living with one of your parent and other living with some one else, and then having half siblings...
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