Saturday, February 4, 2012

On Marriage!

Statutory Warning: Explicit and misogynistic content.

Below is a conversation between 3 guys. Yes, I’m one of them and the other 2 will figure themselves when they read this. Basically when the 3 of us get together we talk about either ‘sex’ or ‘money’. Read on to know more.

A: Why the fuck do you have a sour face like you’ve just been raped or something?

R: Machan, nothing da.

V: Like hell nothing! Fuckin what is it?

R: Nothing re, wahi poorani shaadi ka lafda.

V: You idiot, you bloody deserve it.

R: Matlab?

V: Why do you want to self-rape yourself? No sane person will want to get married.
Why the fuck are you bringing it on yourself?

R: See, I can’t explain it to you 2 immature bastards. When your time comes you’ll understand.

V: Like hell!

A: Explain yourself whore-slut.

R: Fuck off!

V: Life ka sabse bada self-goal mar raha hai tu! There’s still time to recover. Tu ab bol… I’ll book tickets to Thailand and show you what life is about.

R: What’s there in Thailand?

V: Machan… it’s awesome… like hell!

R: Fuck off! I’m not interested in getting massages from prostitutes.

A: Machan V, there’s no hope for this boy!

V: See, I can understand it if your parents are compelling you to get married, if they’ve arranged a girl for you. At least you’re getting paid for your barbadi in the form of dowry! What use is there in going and doing love-marriage? You’re bringing barbadi on yourself muft mein!

A: Ya, I went to this wedding recently where the guy got an Audi Q5. Now- that somewhat lessens the pain of getting married.

R: I’ve never driven a car in my life… so there’s no use.

A: You’ve never fucked a woman in your life also… you still want to get married!

V: Like hell!

R: Marriage is not equal to fucking!

V: Like hell it’s not!

A: Look… I don’t care what you say… marriage is just a stamp of approval from society to go ahead and fuck.

V: Like hell!

R: Shut the fuck-up! The both of you!

A: But machan V, we to have salute R’s initiative da.

V: What machan?

A: See we generally sugar- coat the whole thing. But basically in an arranged marriage it’s your folks telling you- “Son- this is the girl you’ll have to have fuck for the rest of your life!” In a love- marriage you’re telling your folks- “Mom, Dad- this is the girl I’m going to fuck for the rest of my life.” Our boy R’s taken the initiative machan!

V: Like hell!

R: Fuck off!

13 comments:

Bhargavi said...

That was .. umm.. rather enlightening :-) **beep**

AJai said...

@Bhargavi
Thank you! It was written to take the reader in to the next level of nirvana. I'm glad I've achieved some of that. ;-)

Rakesh Vanamali said...

The universal truth! :-)

Shivani said...

Seriously I needed someone to second my disinclination to marry (even though the reason is not that one "has to" f**k only one person for the rest of his/her life - i'm pretty much okay with that idea) and there you are... ;-)

Glad I'm not the only outlaw around. Much as I'd like to remain a part of this unconventional clan, my time is short-lived.
Give me a good reason why one should marry ?? Wait, I can think of one..

"My life is so good I can't take it so I'd rather marry "

Phewwwmmmppphh

Ignore the outburst ;-)

Krishnan said...

>haha.. I used to have similar conversations.. It is bloody true.. Marriage is all about license to fuck..

anilkurup said...

Ha That was really fucked up matter.

AJai said...

@Raks
you and i have much in common my friend! :-)

@Shivani
all the best in screwing up your life! :-)

AJai said...

@krishnan
i know... i used to envy married men at one point of time... but then i looked deeper and found the miseries and torture that they have to suffer. it's pitiable. it really is!

@anil
totally fucked! ;-)

Anuj Sethi S. said...

Like Hell! lol. Nice to note that you even put a character into your characters.

AJai said...

@Anuj

oh... u should meet the guy in real life... then you'll know the real 'character'!

Dhanya said...

Hahahaha.. Very true actually ;)

AJai said...

@Dhanya: i only speak/write the truth! :-)

Sunakshi said...

This is it. haha