On What is to be Done

For the past 10370 days I’ve struggled with the idea/concept that I need to do something with my life. Readers of my blog (there are a few around!) will immediately connect to a similarly reflective post written about 4 years ago.

But I’m wiser today (got grey around my temples), more mature (I hope so!) and have a better understanding of what it is to live (or struggle rather!).

I believe I have better perspective today (I see many of my ‘fans’ nodding their heads in disagreement). But, somewhere I feel that I lack clarity (my fans now nod in agreement). And this post is to, sort of, help me with that (my fans go- O.K!).

I’m a deeply reflective sort of person. I can reflect on anything and everything. There are times when I reflect on my reflections. Then I reflect on my reflections of my reflections. And then on my reflections of my reflections of my reflections. And if I’m not doing that, I reflect on why I’m not reflecting.

Many of you would have rightly concluded that this guy suffers from “analysis paralysis”. I guess it comes from a person who’s totally in love with himself (narcissist is a negative word for the same). That’s also why most of my posts are in first person.

So where I am going with this? Patience my dear reader.

I want to be “successful”. Yes, I do (you wouldn’t believe what I had to overcome to write that one small line down). Now, that’s kind of broad- I know!

How would I define “success”? Success is a journey. And in this journey of mine I would like to accomplish the following things-

1.       Become a great sales person.

2.       Become a great businessman.

3.       Become a great writer.

4.       Become a great finance person.

And I would like to fully utilize and create any opportunity that is out there to help me excel in all of the above.

That’s it. That’s all this post is about.

AJai  

I think too much- Mea Culpa!

I think too much,

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

For that is where I find most joy,

That is what strings my soul and is my light.

Forgive me for trying to fathom,

For trying to uncover life’s meaning- ‘Myself’!

Yes- I’m guilty, but I don’t feel guilt.

I say it aloud here only to share my motivations and my failures.

In this random world- how is one to make sense?

If I focus on others I’m being ‘controlled’,

If I focus on myself- I’m ‘selfish’!

Right or wrong is a matter of perception- but whose?

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

I have questions- mea culpa,

I always have questions!

I’d like to imagine it like I’m peeling away at an onion,

But in reality I’m removing a drop from the ocean.

What is all this for? (Or should I cover my mouth for uttering the unutterable?)

I laugh at your naiveté,

But secretly- I long for your certainty.

I long for your simplicity- I long for…

But, alas! I have not only tasted the forbidden fruit (we all have),

I have also applied it!

Mea maxima culpa!

I think too much!

Blanked!

How are you doing?

I’m doing _____!

OH! __________ ____?

Not ___!

How long before _ ____ up????

____ ___.

____ you too!

Why?

_ don’t ____, _ don’t ___ __ anymore.

What?

___! I’m being ________ ____st.

_____!

That’s what they all say… for me everything’s just going blank!