Regression

Regression

I bought a bottle of rum and coke,

And regretted it

Never liked the shit, bought it for nostalgia,

Smoked up a few with fuckers I don’t like,

Because I wanted communion

There’s no joy in that shit anymore, it’s silly

Its insanity

Felt silly, felt odd, was putrid.

All the fucked up things, come flooding back in to my head,

I loved a girl,

She knows now I’m a loser. I’m happy

For her

But not for myself

That sonovabitch was rude to me on the phone,

I tried to give it back to him but failed miserably.

The conductor didn't have change and so I was the most

 Useless piece of shit

That he ever came across.

My boss wonders where my fire died,

It’s still there- I lied.

I talked to an old teacher about on old lesson,

She thinks I’m cuckoo.

Miss…would you like a kiss?

It’s not bulls & bears

Its bull shit and bearly understandable

My phone beeps, and there

Never is a fucking message for me.

Solved a problem,

That was easy… here’s another bigger one you moron!

The waiter scratched his balls,

And dipped his finger in my glass,

And at that fucking moment I felt thirsty.

Bought new shoes,

Rest of the wardrobe is 2 years old with slight malfunctions.

Sex is always on my mind,

It gets hard inside my pants

When I think of that actress with fake lips

And a beautiful bosom

Listen to sad songs

And it pulls strings in my heart

Like that girl I wrote poetry for,

Though I never loved her

My writing sucks,

This is supposed to be a poem

Where’s the rhyme you ask?

Do you even understand?

Why do I fucking bother?

My back hurts

Means I have the license to be lazy

It’ll never get better,

Nothing ever does.

The regret. The end. Period.

Author's note: Writing style inspired by Don DeLillo's Americana. Narrative is in first person and random sentences are brought together without any cohesion. Use of strong words to create powerful imagery. Designed to provoke dark humor.