Sunday, August 9, 2009

What is LIFE supposed to be?

We are all born, enter childhood, then in to the teens, then we become adults and then there is old age. And finally there is Death. So many people around us.... and yet... when it comes to LIFE, there really is only one routine in it for all of us.

I know there are a gazillion philosophies out there saying LIFE is supposed to be this and that and many things. But to be frank- I just don't get it. Not at all, not one bit.

Some people say chase your bliss. Some people say sacrifice is the essence of life. Some people say it's for the future. Some people say it's your past catching up with you. All of these are conflicting and yet you feel there is some amount of cosmic truth to each of these philosophies. Having said that I still find it difficult to accept any one philosophy and really tell myself -this is the one!

Why can't things be much simpler? Or you know, why can't some higher purpose suddenly come to me and take me and grip me and give meaning and solace to my life. This takes me back to the scene in the movies where the hero is holding on to his dying father who tells him to take revenge or to grow up and be the best soldier or actor or whatever it is. And you know... that guy actually actually has something to live for.

I have a general philosophy. But somehow... it works for everyone else but me! Most of my friends come to me for advice or to seek counsel. And I base my answers on a certain understanding, and most of the times, I am being modest here, it tends to work for them. But for me... I'm still clueless as to how to apply it? What to apply it for?

I'm 24 bloody years old. I still can't figure out what I want to do with my life. One moment it's this and the other moment it's something completely different. There is frustration, anxiety and a certain panic that, you know, how long am I going to be floating around like this?

I find it extremely difficult to put anything in perspective. To be rational about things. Dreams and aspirations are never rational are they?

I had decided some time ago as to what I wanted to do. But unfortunately my folks decided that was not going to be. Then I decided on something else. But that doesn't seem to get me motivated to do what requires to be done. I know it seems simple that I should go back to the first course. But it's not that simple. Why? Well coz in someways the course that my parents have/want in mind is also something that I've wanted to achieve but gave up on.

I've tried to visualize myself 5 years in to the future. I can't see anything except that I feel helpless and stupid and that I haven't done anything with my life. I dread that. I don't want that.

17 comments:

Venky said...

i just want to tell you one thing

" The Mind sees what it only wants to see "

Rakesh Vanamali said...

AJ, my buddy pal, life is a platform for learning that the soul is intended to go thru in order to attain a higher state of consciousness! Life is all of a routine and a series of events that none of us can evade!

Allow urself to experience these events that shall play a part in carving your destiny!

Sometimes you may feel dry and dreary, but thats just fine..... let it happen, things happen for a reason, indeed!

Lastly, may I recommend to you the works of Dr. Brian Weiss..... to begin with - Many Lives, Many Masters and a series of others!

Do read them to gain an insight!

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Oh, and, on what basis have U visualized the future?

Have you, my friend, not heard that "Your view of the future, your biggest competition????"

Sowmi said...

I am going thru the same AJ :) Joining the club :) but jokes apart... something we are missing in lyf!!

A New Beginning said...

Hi!In life when we move on a set track, there are times when we get confused as to what our real purpose in life is all about. When we start thinking about it, we totally forget about the time that passes by, unnoticed, unheard.It is in the present that we need to balance ourselves in such a way that whatever the future might hold for us, we'd be all set to face it, in the best possible manner. Life is all about experiences, its not necessary that if we lead our life in a palnned manner, it goes as we want it to....sometimes its imp to swim with the tide,life just leads us to the right direction...jus believe in yourself and make the best of what you have in your hand at present.

rimz said...

we, d youth,....r ol of us the same unstable mental state...!!!!
I remain so confused wid the 'to dos' in my life, n evn if sometime i fix something, pretty soon it gets wrong somehow, n i make new plans n ponder abt....
But i biliv in a philosophy of Ayn Rand "Theres nothing of any inportance in life except how well you do your work. Nothing" .
Its so true, but its truer that the way of achievement is challenging evry moment...
[may i b ex-cused for my long lecture??!!! .....:P]

AJai said...

@Venky
My prob bro is I need glasses to see what my mind is seeing and I don't have mine around. ;)

@Raks
I take a lot from the philosophy you just mentioned. My prob is when I am stuck with two avenues, which one am I supposed to take? My basis for visualizing the future is where I am now, which might not be a good thing. Will try and check out the references you've mentioned. :)

@Sowmi
Yes, let me know when you want to meet up. We will call all the jobless souls in Chennai and hold one big sammelan! ;)

@Sana
I too want to live in the present. But having said that, you can't pretend that the choices you make today have no effect on the future. And when it is life changing or career changing decisions that need to be made they can be tough and excruciatingly painful. That's what I was trying to say in my post. Thanks for your comment. :)

@Rimz
Well I was an Ayn Rand fan too. But to me life is not all about work. Work can only be one aspect of my life. For eg: blogging has nothing to do with what I want in life. According to Rand I'd be wasting my time here. But I know I need this and I love this. You can't be too objective about life. There is so much that we still haven't understood it would be silly to be objective. :)

sh..... said...

I can't see anything ......and that I haven't done anything with my life. <-- I wonder if you completely agree with what you wrote....and is this what you really feel??? or it just came in flow when you wrote..??

Dont know you much, but what I know you from ur blog is you are happy as of what you are now..and what you have done, but you just want to make it more of it, but the MORE is a question here...isnt it?

What I believe is Advice works for others, Books I read works for the author who wrote, for me to get MORE on life - wait - TIME is yet to come to show me MORE of life.

~sh

AJai said...

@sh
Well that post was straight out and that's why I didn't bother editing it. And no, I'm not happy with where I am now. I admit I want more from my life... I can't take living like this. I just wish I knew which direction to take so that I could carry on with my life. I'm at his place where I'm doing nothing that's so frustrating. I hope you understand.

Venky said...

ur mind thinks it need glasses thats y u just said that. You are only good as what you think of yourself, if you think you are good you will be good.

iselldreams said...

No matter at what age you are...it is always almost impossible to envisage where you will be and what you will be doing even the next day...
Partial prophecies are exceptional:)

Amritbir Kaur said...

Your dilemma is understandable. This indecision is a universal human phenomenon. But remember life is not a static thing, it is constantly changing, so a time will come when you will be clear of what you want to pursue with full passion and then there will be no looking back. All the best!

issam said...

Dude!!!
After going through your post and the host of comments, I don't think i need to add anything more... :)
but still for the sake of it :P
They say some things cant be answered in a line...
We have many different schools of thoughts on life - dealing with how it came into being, how it is to be lived and what would happen after the end.
People usually stick to one of the views whichever they feel comfortable with.
You could also find your one :)
On a serious note, the fact that such questions strikes you is good news.
'Coz to find answers, we need the right questions to start with :)

Chhaya said...

Life is just one damned thing after another (yeah yeah, i stole the quote :P) ...

i try to see life from Calvin's (& Hobbs fame) eyes whenever it gets too heavy...
:)

AJai said...

@iselldreams
Thanks for the comments. Totally agree that predicting the future can be difficult. But success usually depends on predicting the future. At least to a certain degree. It's important to know, at least personally, where u are going in life.

@Amirbit Kaur
Thanks for dropping by. :). I can't wait for the time when I'm out of this indecision phase to come.

@issam
Wish it was as easy as that bro. Wish it was that easy.

@Chayya
Thanks for the suggestion. I think I'll give it a try. ;)

Uncommon Sense said...

man do whatever you wish to do, as the titan ad goes.. do more..

i have learned from experince that, nomatter whatever you do one ends up at the same place where one is supposed to reach..

paths are different, but the destination that u will reach will be the same..

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