You don’t know this about me but I’m actually a Lithuanian
Jew. Actually I’m not. But it’s cool to pretend. I do have an accent though. On
hearing me you’d think I ‘sound intellectual’. No, it’s just that I spent way
too much time in front of the TV as a kid watching American sitcoms and
imitating the characters. Now I’m an original.
You’re reading this either because you’re a misogynist, or
you are not, or you’re just bored the hell with life and it is an interesting
title for an article. After- all with all them YouTube videos and random
articles what more could one do wrong right?
I support Donald Trump because my childhood hero- Dan Bilzerian supports
Trump. Too bad I don’t get to vote on the American election. I’m ‘pro-choice’
though as long as it’s mine.
I know it’s a terrible thing to be rallying around Trump
these days (especially in public). It can really affect your chances of getting
laid with the intellegenita (female intelligentsia). I’ve tried hard to pretend
like I’m a feminist because I love the intelligenita. But I’m terrible at it.
Most guys are great at it (and consequently get a lot more action from the
intelligenita). They say stuff like equality for the sexes and all that. They
say it so well that everyone believes in it. And the genita love it! Sigh!
To be fair to Hillary, she is a role-model to all of us- not
just women. She says sensible things all the time (in comparison to Trump-
Hello!). She knows how to be diplomatic. She knows that saying the truth can
get you in to a lot of trouble. She knows that she needs to be on the side of
public opinion all the time. So she supported her husband-Bill in ‘those tough
times’. That’s a true woman I tell you. Every guy wants to be Bill with a wife
like Hillary.
I know I’m contradicting myself. But it’s the truth. And the
truth is contradictory.
Donald is full of himself. There’s no question about it. If
there ever had to be a painting titled- ‘Vainglory’, it would have DT in it. People
hate him for it. But he’s just a mirror to most people you find in life. Don’t
believe me? Just check out your Facebook wall. Yes, that friend of mine needed
to wish his mother on her B’day (and post one of their childhood photos
together where he looks cute) so that he could get 272 likes (235 with 37 loves
or that heart symbol thingy) and it would prove to the world what a doting son he
is and that the whole world is proof of this. Never mind that he’s actually a
prick. He’s still cool. There’s absolutely no connection between DT and this
guy but I just had to rant here. Damn you world!
The real problem for most people with DT is that he is ‘too
honest’. He says what comes to his mouth. This is usually a problem for most
people. God knows how much I’ve kept inside me for all these years. I’d be
fired by now if I told my boss/clients/ friends/ women what exactly I felt like
at any moment. But for DT he’s somehow managed to get away with it. And that
really is an enigma.
There was a study done by the Harvard Business Review which
said that the number one reason for success in any field was confidence. Not
that it makes any sense. But I just wanted to put it in this piece confidently.
I actually don’t know who the better candidate is- ‘Grandma’
or ‘Crazy Grandpa’ (with the uber hot wife). I’m just going with the judgement
of my hero Dan.
After-all, Dan knows what he is doing. Just look at his life.
Now, in the Indian context (although I’m a pretending
Lithuanian Jew) – I support/do not support Modi depending on- a) how hot you
are b) how available (or feminist*) you are and c) what will make me look cool
with your hot friends (if you are not a & b). For the rest of you- go find
another article to read, nonsense, don’t waste my time.
*Truth: Most men support feminism overtly because
they equate it with promiscuity among women (inside they’re all MCPs). That coupled
with birth-control means more opportunities. Now ‘that’ is a cause worthy of
support (who doesn’t like fun ah? Yes, let’s go all watch ‘Pink’, and take home
the message. And Amitabh Bachan really wanted to tell his grand-daughters about
the whole feminist thing in that public letter. It was just coincidental that
his movie released at the same time.) Most women support feminism because they
think it’s cool to be like men (Like really? Puhleez!). Everyone is original.
Now, I know this whole piece can come across as very
cynical. But it’s not true. I’m actually an optimist. I like to believe in the
greater call of humanity, that people do things for others selflessly and that
we must be more than just ourselves.
Yes, I believe very strongly in the cause of the English Premier League.
Now, I know most reviews/opinions here will be negative.
That’s just because you’re all anti-Semitic. Beware the Zionist movement will come at you. Shalom.
PS: According to my friends I drink too little these days.
