I think too much- Mea Culpa!

I think too much,

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

For that is where I find most joy,

That is what strings my soul and is my light.

Forgive me for trying to fathom,

For trying to uncover life’s meaning- ‘Myself’!

Yes- I’m guilty, but I don’t feel guilt.

I say it aloud here only to share my motivations and my failures.

In this random world- how is one to make sense?

If I focus on others I’m being ‘controlled’,

If I focus on myself- I’m ‘selfish’!

Right or wrong is a matter of perception- but whose?

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

I have questions- mea culpa,

I always have questions!

I’d like to imagine it like I’m peeling away at an onion,

But in reality I’m removing a drop from the ocean.

What is all this for? (Or should I cover my mouth for uttering the unutterable?)

I laugh at your naiveté,

But secretly- I long for your certainty.

I long for your simplicity- I long for…

But, alas! I have not only tasted the forbidden fruit (we all have),

I have also applied it!

Mea maxima culpa!

I think too much!