Wednesday, January 6, 2010

CONDOMNATION!

Hi folks! Happy New Year to all of you. Hope you had a blast. And hope that this new year brings in lots of joy and happiness. : )
It's my first post of this new year. I thought it should be a little light-hearted one. I hope you like it.
ps: This post is complete fiction! Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. If this resmbles your life in any way do contact me. We will have lots to discuss. : ).

Scene: Son has returned home after spending the night out. He gets inside the house and without saying a word goes in to his room and goes for a bath. His mother is very upset that he's spent the night out and wants to find out what he's been up to. So she picks up his wallet and takes a look inside. She finds a condom! Below is the conversation that takes place between Mother, Father & Son. I've used M,F & S for ease of typing.

M: You know what I found when I looked inside Amit's wallet?
F: Please Lakshmi! Stop it! Give the boy his freedom. Stop snooping around.
M: Yes, give the boy his freedom! And see how he abuses that freedom! [Shows condom to Dad]
F: My God! You found that in his wallet?
M:Yes!
F: Well, I don't know what to say or do. I feel cheated.
M: You will confront him. Don't just sit on it like you did when you found out he's been smoking.
F: Yes, it's high time we had a talk with him and made it clear that he's crossed the line.

Son enters the room.
M: You lying scoundrel! You cheat! You disgust me!
S: What's happening? What's all the fuss about?
F: We found this! [Pulls out condom]
S: Where did you find it?
M: That's not important.
S: You searched my wallet didn't you? When will you people learn to respect my privacy!
M: Respect your privacy? We gave you so much freedom. See how you've abused that freedom and betrayed us.
F: I'd like to respect your freedom son. But, I have to agree with your mother on this one.
S: I cannot agree. You have infringed on my privacy.
M: The nerve of you! You think roaming about with this[points at condom] is the right thing?
S: Well, would you rather that I not use it?
F: We are asking you to refrain from the act where you will need to use it.
S: Why? The law is cool with it. Why are you folks having such a problem with it?
M: Have you no respect for our culture? Our traditions? We brought you up to respect these things.
S: Well, my culture and traditions taught me nothing about sex. I had to find out about it on my own.
F: What do you mean?
S: Remember Dad, long time back, when I was a kid, I asked you how babies are born. And you said that the mother & father get together and pray really hard and that's how babies are born. I lived with that lie till I was 14. Only then I found out the truth!
F: Well, you were too small to understand the truth.
S: I agree. But I had to find out someday. You do want grand-children don't you?
M: My God! Look how he's talking back!
F: Lakshmi, please, let's handle this like mature adults!
S: Thanks Dad, I appreciate that. When I found out the truth I didn't confront both of you. I knew it was a sensitive topic and one that cannot be discussed with parents. I understood that. I respect that.
M: Come back to the point. So why are you carrying this thing[points to condom] in your wallet?
S: I keep it in there so because I don't want you to know about it. It's not like a pen or paper that I can keep on my table. Let's face it... sex is a sensitive topic and being too open about it is not cool. And these are the kind of things you want to hide from your folks.
M: Why must you hide anything from us?
S: Amma you want me to be completely honest with you about everything? Like should I discuss my first-night with you?
F: Son, I think you're stepping the line.
S: It's an honest question Dad. Can I discuss that with you? No na. It's inappropriate. There are some things that you need to keep hidden.
F: All right, you made your point. You can find out about sex. But where's the need to practise it?
S: Dad would you have allowed me to drive a car on the highway after reading about it? I had to practise it first and then only go on the main roads. I learnt to drive and only then did I learn what kind of car I like, how I like to drive and things like that.
M: Muruga! Look how he talks!
F: Why can't you wait and get that experience with your wife?
S: Supposing I'm bad? Or she's bad? Or we are just incompatible? Isn't it better to find out things first before going in to marriage. Marriage is a big-big commitment.
M: But what will your wife think? How will she be able to trust you?
S: I'll be honest with her. I think that's extremely important in a marriage. Similarly if she's not a virgin I'd like to know first. I'm k with it if she's not a virgin. But, I want her to be honest with me.
M: Aiyo Rama! Why didn't I die before this day!
S: Marriage has to be built on trust Ma. I've learnt this from you two only. I'm just applying it to my life.
F: Trust is important. But some traditions are too!
S: Right Dad. And so what? The astrologer will tell me if this girl will be a good mate for me? The stars will reveal if this girl is a virgin or not? Tradition or trust? Most people fake things nowadays. You know it.
M: We'll find a 'pure-girl' for you.
S: Ya right, you're going to do a full body check up on her? And Mom, these days there are corrective surgeries. You won't know the truth even after checkin her thoroughly.
F: K, let's move away from this. I want you to understand that sex is a very sensitive thing.
S: I agree Dad.
F: Yes it has many consequences. You could get your partner pregnant. You could contract sexual diseases. It could have social consequences for you and your partner.
S: I agree Dad. That's why I use a condom and that's why I'm discreet about it.

Mother and Father are stumped!