FD recently moved in to a flat with two women. FD is the
only guy I know who can manage such feats and be absolutely nonchalant about it.
I confided to him my interest in “both” his flat mates. And
the good man that he is he agreed to ‘wing’ for me. We just had to wait for the
opportune moment.
And so suddenly a few days back I get a message from FD. It
read- “Man if I wing for you any more I’ll probably start flying!”
Turns out that I came up in a conversation with one of his
flat mates. Something to do with books. FD casually mentioned that I was one of
those guys who read a book a week and that immediately caught her interest. “He’s
kinda cute and also looks like he’s read a lot. You should call him over
sometime.”
BANG!
That chance happened
yesterday. FD called me over for lunch. It was already 12PM and I was planning lunch
with colleagues when I got the message. He said that he’d give me a 30 minutes
heads up. Okay, cool, so I got to wait. “Patience” is my virtue.
About 2:15 I get the next message saying that I’d better eat
something light as lunch would be really late. Great! So I ‘lightly’ gobbled up
two biryanis. During lunch I get a message saying come over anyway and that he’d
organize something. So another lunch now? No problem- I’m Mr. Flexible.
It was about 4PM when I got there. I walk in to this lovely
scene- the sunlight coming in through the balcony and this very pretty lady sitting
on a couch reading a book. FD has his camera hanging around his shoulders and
he’s shooting her.
Now how cool is that? How I wished I was the photographer.
Every girl loves to be photographed. And if you’re a pro like FD is then it
just scores you so many more brownie points.
And this guy FD has a way with women. A true gentleman, he’s
always soft-spoken and well behaved. He also takes great care of himself and is
always on the top of his game when it comes to looks and style. He’s charming, mature,
amiable and has a great witty sense of humor. He knows how to make conversation
(especially with women- something that I have perennially struggled with!). And
this guy is “winging” for me!
So I sat there opposite her. I could have sat there the
whole evening just looking at her. But that would have looked odd it would. I
get a message on my phone. It’s FD telling me to talk about books. Oh yes! That
was my key!
So I asked her what book she was reading. Sheryl Sandberg’s-
‘Lean In’, she replied. So to carry on
the small talk I asked her what it was about. And then the dam burst! She explained
that it was about the feminist movement and how women need to take on more responsibility
and how there aren’t enough women at the top in the corporate world and how
women don’t get equal pay as men and why is it the women’s responsibility to
raise children and you know blah blah blah. She went on and on. Man- this chick
was really passionate about this stuff!
Now I know that chicks dig humor. So I was looking for an
opening to say something funny. But how do you say something funny about the
feminist movement without sounding offensive? So I carried on a serious conversation. I must
have come across as a bore.
She must have got bored because after a while she broke off conversation
and moved in to her room. FD and I had some work to catch up on and so we went
about that. A little later she came back out and was observing us working. I hope that at least came across as cool!
She suggested we go
boating. FD asked me if I wanted to go and I nodded my head with an obvious
expression on my face (don’t worry- she wasn’t looking).
So we went to the lake where we could hire peddle boats. We
had to wait a bit for the boat. While waiting we saw some guys fishing in the
lake. They were pulling a fish out and almost immediately throwing it back in.
It was ridiculous! She enquired as to what they were doing and of course I had
to act.
Now these fishing boys were Tamil boys. So I enquired what
they were up to. “Oh nothing, just having fun.” Armed with this information I
hoped to dazzle my lady. As I revealed it she just said- “Oh!” and went back to
staring at the horizon.
The peddle boat came and I shoved FD to the back. “You have
to take photos”- I told him.
So the pretty lady and I began peddling the boat. I let her
steer the boat. She was peddling too fast and I was using up all my reserves
just to keep up. We settled in to a rhythm soon thankfully and from there on I could
shift my focus from the peddling.
And now my thoughts turned
to striking a conversation with the chick. I said the obvious things. “Wow-
this is beautiful!”, “I didn’t know this could be so much fun”, “Oh- the breeze”
and stuff like that. My mind was searching for something to make this
interesting for us but she just kept mum.
And then suddenly she opened up. “FD look at that bird!” I
wanted to scream and say- “Hello! I’m here too! What the hell?”
And FD looks at the bird and says- “Ya, that’s nice. I used
to do bird watching long before. Note down the different species and stuff like
that.” To which she enthusiastically replied- “Oh ya? That’s so cool! I used to
do it back home too!”
Now the only kind of bird watching I’m used to doing is a
very different kind of bird watching. I don’t think that would have scored me
any brownie points.
Oh well okay- so this chick likes birds. And so after that
every time I saw a bird I would go- “Wow guys look at that!” And they would just look up and say something
like “Oh!”
Finally the tortuous boat ride was over. We got back home.
She said she had to catch up on some stuff and went back to her room. And FD
gave me a ‘what do I do with this guy’ look.
Anyway FD and I went back to finishing off our work. As I
took leave she was back in the living room. I told her I was leaving and she
smiled.
I came out thinking nice- I at least got her to smile!
