Aj's Take

from my heart

2011-10-31T07:48:00.000+05:30

Hi,

I don’t know if I can call you my boo or my bum anymore. I don’t know what state our relationship is any more. I don’t know if we have a relationship anymore. It drives me nuts. But fucking hell it’s the bloody truth.

It’s not that I don’t look at other women anymore. I still do. I masturbate twice a day and it’s a different woman every time. I flirt with girls I come across. But you’re still in my head. When I hug my pillow I still like to feel it’s your body that I’m hugging.

Life’s tough. I’m figuring it out the hard way. I’m working in a new company now. I’m now a pucca stock broker. The company I work for is crazy. As in totally disorganized, totally dysfucntional. I know I should be working in a better company but I don’t know when the opportunity will come.

I earn a pittance for a salary. It’s a lot better than I was earning 4 months back. Almost 50% more. But it’s still not enough. It’s crap really. It is.
But there are a few good things that have happened. I like my work. I love the markets and the whole investing/trading thing. I wish I could explain it to you. It’s not something that I could do in a letter/ mail. You know I’m a philosopher deep down. And the markets are kind of the place where it all comes together. All my crazy philosophies of life and existence. Everything finds expression in the market. The whole chaos and confusion and yet the victory in the end if you can use your brains. It’s brilliant. I know if I spend time with it I will excel in it.

I’m doing a course. CFP. I hope it’s my ticket to a better life. I’m not sure though. It’s still an obscure course. I’m sure you haven’t even heard about it. But it’s a good course and I’m learning a lot from it. That’s what’s important na? Not the degree itself. People in general are always after certificates. But for me it’s always been about the experience gained. I’ve done 2 papers so far out of 5. And I find I can already speak with more clarity to people about investments and taxation. Hopefully I’ll get better as I complete each module.

But it pains me that I’m not able to earn a salary that I should be getting. That people don’t respect my intellect and my capabilities. I know you’ll say to give myself time and see how things progress and all. But I’m getting frustrated and impatient. I don’t know.

All I dream about is making enough money to get a ticket to Delhi and come and see you. I don’t know how you will react. I hope you will come running in to my arms. I hope you will cry seeing me. I know it’s silly to want you to cry.

But there is still a lot of confusion in my mind. I don’t really know if I love you still. That’s the hopelessness of everything. I know you always sensed that in me. I always believed you deserved more. I was not sure if I could give it to you myself and that’s why the whole go after this guy and he’s a better guy and all that shit. I know it’s a complex.

I’m still figuring out myself. I’m staying on my own. Completely on my own with no one to report to. It’s a completely different feeling. Something that you will know I’ve yearned for a long time. It feels great to be able to finally experience it. But the other challenges that life presents are more over-whelming and I really haven’t been able to savour it the way I wanted.

Life is like that na.? You chase something really hard. And when you get it there is something else that you need to do.

But this experience has taught me a lot of things. I only had contempt for my parents but now I realize what efforts they took to raise me. Small things like seeing plenty of food on the table when I head back home give me such joy. It’s crazy.

Sometimes I feel like giving up. Like running away. Was reading this book about Akbar and I was wondering how stupid my life has been. I mean I’ve loved these guys- Akbar and all the other great historical characters and I’ve never even gone and seen what they’ve left behind. I havent’ been to Fatehpur Sikri. Or to Agra. For that matter I haven’t even been to that holiday paradise called “Goa”. What a stupid and mundane life I have led so far.

But it’s not all that bad also. I know. I’m living on my own and whatever I am today so far, whatever I have achieved is on my own. I hope someday I will make enough money to see these places. To go bungee jumping and sky diving and all those cool things they do in zindagi milegi na dobara and all those other movies. But I want to do it on my own. Not with anyone else paying for it.

It’s being stubborn I know. Sometimes I run out of patience and I say fuck it let’s just go do it. I know if I tell Dad I need some money he will transfer it to my account immediately. But so far I haven’t been able to do it.

Oh and most importantly I don’t know how you are. I don’t know if you’ve found another guy in your life. It will hurt me to know that you have. But if it is so I hope he’s a really nice guy. And also tell him to stay away from me because I don’t know I might just kill him. I don’t know if you are married/ engaged/ become a nun or whatever. I mean I have absolutely no clue how you are and it drives me nuts.
I’ve asked Jennifer, Iqbal, Madhu. I even contemplated asking a few guys I know here to call you and find out who you are. No one responds. I feel lost.

I don’t know how I can even reach this letter to you. You’ll probably never read it. I promised never to try and get in touch. It’s the most painful promise I’ve made so far. I just want you to know that.

Take care. Be good. Have fun. Be happy always.

Yours
AJith

Ps: I still carry that swiss-army knife you gave me everywhere.

We Will See

2011-10-26T11:33:00.000+05:30

Legend has it that a rich merchant once bought a horse for his son on his sixteenth birthday. All the townspeople came to the wise old man and said- “Oh, how lucky that boy is!”

“We will see”- was the wise man’s reply.

A few days later the boy fell off from his horse and broke his leg. All the townspeople came to the wise man and said- “oh, how unfortunate!”

“We will see”- was the wise man’s reply.

A few days later war was announced. All boys of eligible age had to conscript for the army by royal decree. The young boy escaped because of his broken leg. All the townspeople came to the wise man and said- “Oh, how fortunate!”

“We will see”- was the reply.

Connecting the dots… A Tribute to Mr Jobs.

2011-10-06T11:30:00.000+05:30

I’ve never owned an Apple product in my life. I’ve never been able to afford one. I don’t hold any grudge against anyone for that… it’s just how it is. So I don’t know how beautiful the products are, what the features & specs are etc. I’ve come across a few of their products in my life and I’ve always been fascinated by them. That’s maybe because everyone keeps raving about them.

My fascination for Mr. Jobs is therefore not because of the beautiful products he created. No, my fascination with Mr. Jobs is because of the ideals for which he stood for.

I read Mr. Jobs’ speech that was given in the Stanford convocation a long time ago. The speech was titled ‘Connecting the dots’. A friend of mine had forwarded it to me. I read it during a particularly difficult part of my life. I’ve starred the mail in my inbox and I read it whenever I’m in need of some zest. I was able to connect to what was said in a way that nothing else has. For many people Steve Jobs was a tech-guru, an innovator, an entrepreneur, the greatest CEO ever, etc, etc. But, what came through to me in that speech was that above all else -Steve Jobs was an artist! An artist is constantly trying to make sense of his life. An artist is constantly trying to find his place in the world. An artist always wants to contribute something. An artist creates something in his mind, executes it and changes society forever through his creation.

I believe in my heart that I am an artist. No religious sermon or text, no motivational speaker, nobody has made as much sense to me as Steve Jobs did in that small address. Like he says in that speech, you will never be able to connect the dots now but going forward everything will make sense, everything will fall in place. You just have to believe in that. I do.

When you connect the dots of Steve Jobs’ life you get one really beautiful picture and that will be his most lasting legacy. I know that one of the important dots in my life is reading that speech and let’s see where that will take me. Thank you Mr. Jobs for being an inspiration. I promise to Stay Hungry! and Stay Foolish! as long as I live.

The first rule of 'Making Money'

2011-06-05T17:55:00.002+05:30

I once came across this real wealthy guy. I walked up to him and asked him- "Sir, how does one make money?".

He smiled and said- "How much will I get if I tell you?"

I smiled. I'd just learned rule No 1- 'Nothing comes free!".

The end of a terrorist and what we must do with it

2011-05-02T21:15:00.000+05:30

Let me take this opportunity to congratulate the US on eliminating Osama Bin Laden. Unless you have completely missed the day, you must be aware that Bin Laden met his end early this morning in a surgical strike by US special- forces. For a man who preached violence and hatred, it was a fitting end.

And with the lack of imagination that is peculiar to our Government, especially when it comes to seizing moments, our PM and Home Minister chose to attack Pakistan ‘in the wrong way’.

“The 26/11 terrorists are still in Pakistan”- Mr Chidambaram was quoted to have said. “Pakistan must do more to rein in terrorism”- was Mr Singh’s quip.

Diplomacy is often putting your enemy in a tight spot. Anyone can see that the covert operation conducted by the US in Pakistani territory was without the knowledge of the Pakistani authorities. Even if there was some kind of cooperation, both the US and Pakistan seem to want to down-play that. The Pakistani authorities have so far been silent or reserved in their statements. Only ex- President Musharraf has come out openly and criticized the operation as “an attack on Pakistan’s sovereignty”.

The truth is in Musharraf’s quip. Any self-respecting Pakistani should be enraged that the US has continuously treated Pakistan without any respect. The blame for this sorry state of affairs has to fall on Pakistan. But that is a long story… that which every person on the planet knows(including the Pakistani’s!). Pakistan’s rulers are sure to find it difficult to maneuver the public outrage that this event will bring about. India should have seized this chance.

A simple statement from India would have done the trick. Imagine a statement thus- “We congratulate both the people of the US and the people of Pakistan on the elimination of this most dangerous of terrorists. It’s an important day in the fight against terrorism. This could have only come about with the active cooperation between the ‘Pakistani and US authorities’. While admiring the feat, it is important to not forget that larger issues pertaining to terrorism still remain. Islamabad must repeat the cooperation that it showed with the US and extend the same to countries such as India, Russia, Saudi Arabia, UK, Israel, Spain, Australia and Indonesia, which have been victims of terrorism emanating from Pakistan."

Both the US and Pakistan will find it difficult to outwardly find fault with that statement, although internally they will be seething. Pakistan will have to come out with a diplomatic retort (they always have to whenever India says something). They can say something to the extent that there is no terrorism happening India or some bull like that. No one will take it seriously… but what will really set the cat amongst the pigeons is the focus on the ‘cooperation’ between the US and Pakistan. This cooperation is a political hot-potato for both countries. By tactfully making both parties uncomfortable India would have done exceedingly well.

Some of you maybe fazed as to why we need to make the US uncomfortable. Simple… even in Mrs Clinton’s address this evening she mentioned the bombings in Kenya, Africa, Yemen, UK and Spain as proof that terrorism and in particular Al Qaeda needed to be dealt with firmly. But when it comes to the most outrageous of terrorist attacks- the 26/11 attacks, it preaches that India must practice ‘restraint’.

It is also high-time that India covertly plans to get rid of the notorious terrorists that are harming her. I admire what the US and the Israeli’s do. In fact, most nation-states do the same. They make it extremely difficult and dangerous for their enemies to function. It shouldn’t be that bastards like Dawood Ibrahim are allowed to have a high-profile wedding for their children, or jokers like Syed Sallaudhin should be allowed to address rallies in public. The enemies of India should live in a constant state of fear. India’s hands-off strategy in trying to do justice is at odds with what is required of a strong and resilient nation-state.

A hard-line and hawkish approach is what is required. I hope the PM and Home Minister will get the message.

Ind vs SA, WC-2011, Qualifiying round

2011-03-13T22:29:00.000+05:30

In another tantalizingly close finish, South Africa beat India with just 3 balls to spare. It was a thoroughly professional show by the Proteas and they richly deserved the win. As opposed to the Indians, who thoroughly deserved to lose last night’s game.

One may argue in the merits of choosing Nehra over Bhajji in that last over. It might have made a difference… we will never know. But, to me, the game was not won/lost there. Dhoni’s captaincy was good generally. He shuffled his bowlers well, was aggressive, and always ahead of things. SA batted very sensibly and everyone who came out to bat made a contribution. I think AB’s little innings was special in that it created the momentum for them to carry on. AB, by the way, is probably my favorite international cricketer now. No, the game was lost elsewhere. The Indians lost the plot while they were batting.

You cannot lose 9 wickets for 29 runs in an ODI! Not unless you are an ‘associate’ team playing against the big boys (or you are B’ldesh!). Sachin, Sehwag and Gambhir had set the match beautifully for the Indians, only for the others to throw it all away. It was shameful. Among all the super-stars, there was not one sane head to raise his hand to be counted. No one could keep cool and work the way through the end. There is a word in English for this kind of performance- pathetic!

So who’s to blame for the batting debacle? The top 3 did their job splendidly, and are therefore out of contention for this dubious distinction. Virat Kohli is young, and has performed well in the previous games. We can excuse him for the one-off game. Yuvi similarly can be discounted on past performances in this tournament. Mr Pathan knows only one way hit the cricket ball and that is to hit it hard. There are limits to what that sort of belligerence will deliver. So that leaves only our captain dearest- Mr MSD!

Coming to think of it… when was the last time MSD finished a match for us? I can’t recollect even one from recent memory. I can’t remember a decent batting contribution from him, in all forms of the game, for a long time. So is Mr MSD in a form slump? It appears so… and it’s badly affecting Team India’s batting.

Dhoni is the calm and serene head in the middle of the order. He handles pressure well and can be depended on to hold anchor when the storm arrives. He’s done this job with distinction but it’s been some time now since he’s delivered. India should not slump like it did that day with Dhoni around. He’s the guy who gets us out of those dreadful periods of play. But, he failed!

It’s been reported that he’s very unhappy with the batting performance from the last game. I hope he said that in a very expansive tone- to include himself. Mr. MSD needs to remove his sword from its sheath and get going.

So what’s to say of India’s bowling? The less said the better! Yes, I know I blamed India’s batting for the loss… but that’s because I have very little confidence, if at all, in India’s bowling to believe that it has the goods to win us a game by itself. Yes ZAK and Bhajji can be brilliant in periods… but Nehra and Munaf… really?

Among the top teams, India has probably the weakest bowling line up. So how do we correct it? It might be worth to give Sreesanth a try. I’m not saying that he’s better than Nehra or Munaf. But there’s a small chance that he might be in some sort of form. The other two are obviously doing nothing.

And I might be tempted to bring the extra spinner. Play only 6 batsmen even. I’m not very clear on this though… I’m just shooting off my head here.

India doesn’t look like a world cup winning squad at the moment. It’s lacking that killer instinct. It needs to deliver that knockout punch when it gets the chance. Pray that they find it soon!

New Year's Night '05-'06

2010-12-29T14:43:00.000+05:30

6:30 PM, Baba's Ashram.
My phone was ringing. It was Dad asking me to be home asap.He wanted it that we spend new year together as family. Bah Humbug! I took a quick swig from the

beer bottle I was holding and passed it on to Gas. I told the boys I would be leaving now and would return later at night... probably after 12.

Nobody had an idea about how much booze we were going to buy. And everyone seemed to have their own ideas. I tried to convince the boys to keep some booze aside for me. They tried to

convince me back saying -"Stay Gay Stay!", which came out exactly like how it reads and had/has too many connotations. I gave my contri to Paneri sensing that he would be the only

sensible person around and left the room.

It was going to be one havoc party there in the room and I had to miss it thanks to family. What crap. I knew I was going to miss the best part of the party. Every party rides out

like a wave... it builds up and then comes crashing down. You need to be there for the build up. Else it's no use.

And it was with a very heavy heart that I left the ashram. We went out for dinner somewhere that night... the 4 of us. But my mind was with the happenings in the room. God... there

better be booze for me when I get back or I'll murder those mo-fo's.

We reached home after mid-night... cut cake together(an old family thing we do every new year). I then changed in to T-shirt and shorts and zoomed out of the house as fast as I

could. I could feel Dad's eyes on me... but I didn't give a damn.

I reached the room and the door opened... the first sight I saw was of a bucket and Kulla's head coming out of it. He was smashed and had just puked in to the bucket. He grinned at

me as I passed him and said..."Happy New Year Machan!" and then crashed. Already the first casualty of the night had happened and I hadn't even started!

Everybody came to give me a hug for New Year and I knew then and there that everybody was blown. Mani came, looked at me with those chinky eyes(which he gets when he's smashed!) gave

me a hug, wished me and then rushed to the bathroom to puke. I was thinking to myself- fuck, now Mani's going down too... Dammit!

I found myself a place in one corner. Baba poured a drink for me, there was still lots of that left thankfully... Baba and Paneri were the only slightly stable guys there. I took out

4 packets of Wills from my pocket, which I'd bought on the way, and dropped it between them. And the look in Baba and Paneri's eyes said it all... I could have written them a blank

cheque, given them a flight ticket to any where in the world, brought a super hot chick for them... but at that moment, there was nothing more important to them than having enough

fags for the night, and it showed through the glow in their eyes and their broad smiles.

Mani came out to where we were sitting... wiped his mouth with the back of his hands and said to Paneri-"Abey Peg bana bey!".
Paneri very dutifully made the peg and gave it to him... Mani looked at it and said disgustedly--"Abey pickle kaun dega??? Tera Baap???".
Paneri looked away sheepishly. He took a sachet of lime pickle, opened it for Mani... who was waiting patiently while all this was happening...and gave it to him. Mani took a large

swig of Vodka from his glass and bit in to the pickle sachet.

It was like you'd set fire to a highly inflammable substance... Mani just took off! He first changed the CD on the player to -"Hindi Music". He came to the center of the room... on

the mattress... and converted it in to a dance floor. Kulla was lying dead in one corner of this same mattress by the way. Rasa followed Mani's leads and they both pulled their

"Dance Guru" Paneri to the center of the room and begged him to show the true path once again.

So Paneri started- "Remember boys... anyone who can do ordinary things can dance!"

He went on..." First you must start the scooter"... and he was kick-starting his imaginary scooter and Mani and Rasa were following him. "Then you must turn on the tap with your

right hand". So they were now kick-starting their imaginary scooters and turning on their imaginary taps at the same time. "And now finally... you must fix the bulb with your left

hand". So to add to their previous movement they were now fixing their imaginary bulbs.

Someone once said that from one great idea flows many other great ideas. And so it was... Paneri, Mani and Rasa discovered that they could convert many simple things in to dance

steps. Combing your hair, brushing your teeth, tying your shoe-laces, fixing a drink(which they actually performed and not just imagined!), putting on clothes, etc.

Baba got a call from Buddi. Buddi was in town for New Years and had nothing to do. Baba called him over... but Buddi was hesitating saying..."Machan I don't know any one there da!".

To which Baba replied..."What non-sense you have an old friend here"... I expected Baba to say my name but Baba said.."Old Monk!" I guess that did the trick because Buddi was there in 15 min flat.

So Buddi and me were starting on almost the same level there. I had had just one peg before he came. Buddi walked in to a room that was on fire. Buddi couldn't take his eyes off Mani. "Machan, is that our Mani?"- he kept asking me. "Machan I can't believe it da... what he was like in school... now see him!" And then..."Machan... I want to be in that state

da... that level da...let's drink fast so we can get there sooner!". I okayed that proposal. So we drank 3 neat shots one after the other and we were both happy.

But there was no matching Mani and Rasa... even the great dance guru Shri Paneri had to bow down and submit to their energy. Perfect case of the disciples going ahead of their

teacher. I made a peg for Paneri as he took a breather and surveyed his wards with a proud glint in his eyes.

Being the more stable guy there I was made de-facto in charge of the bar. I was making pegs for everybody. Mahadeo was lying down with his back against the trunk on which I was

sitting. He was clearly blown. He was like that even before I got there and couldn't even get up to greet me... he was clearly sloshed. I tried to talk him in to another drink but he

refused. He was like- "no machan... I'm finished." Suddenly Baba comes in behind me and takes the drink I'd made from my hand and gives it to Mahadeo and says- "drink". And Mahadeo

drinks. Then Baba points at Mani and Rasa and says- "now go dance". And Mahadeo gets up and starts dancing. Baba- thou art thy holy one!

Rasa came to me and said..."Machan make me my sixth peg da". So I made a large rum, with pepsi and some water and gave it to him. He had it one gulp and said..."machan... that was

only pepsi da... make one nice one". So this time I made one with water and gave it to him and again he downed it one gulp and said" machan... that was small da... please give me one

nice peg... my sixth peg." I was fed up. I poured one large and gave it to him neat. He gulped that down too in one shot and said-"machan what is this machan... make me one nice peg

da... give me my sixth peg da". I told him to fuck off and make it himself. This he couldn't do, he was too blown. So he kept asking everyone around to make him a "sixth peg". Some

obliged... but Rasa was still not satisfied... he'd go in between dances and ask everyone and anyone to "please give me my sixth peg!" and then continue with his dancing once again.

Kulla woke up in between because somebody had stamped him... he saw Mani, Rasa and Mahadeo putting on their imaginary chaddis and collapsed again. I guess he thought he was dreaming.

Jabbu... ah Jabbu... now Jabbu is a guy who takes his drinking very seriously. Matlab... he gets serious when he drinks. This is against every known convention but then Jabbu is

"hatke!". Jabbu was sitting in one corner, slowly sipping his drink and watching Mani and Rasa murder all the great songs of the time. He couldn't stand it. His blood boiled... he

got up...pushed everyone from the dance floor and showed everyone how to exactly do it. He was classy, his moves were crisp, beautiful and aesthetic. He stopped, expecting everyone to

burst in to applause... instead all he got was Mani's- "Chal hat!".

And Mani, Rasa, Mahadeo, Baba, Buddi, Paneri and myself were back to doing "simple ordinary dancing".Jabbu couldn't stand it. He decided he needed to be away from the crowd. He asked

me for my phone and went out. He came back saying-" Machan talked to one super hot chick now machan!". I said-"good for you!" He was like "get me Rasa's phone." I was like- "what

happened to mine?". "Balance over machan!"- he said. Bastard!

Rasa's balance too got over. Then Jabbu turned to Mani and asked him where his phone is... Mani did one exaggerated dance move and pointed to a phone lying in the corner(all this to

the rhythm of the music!). Jabbu picked it up and left. Mani came to me and said-"Gay that was Baba's phone!", and we both laughed our asses out. "And you know what's the best

part?"- Mani asked me. I told him I didn't know. "Baba's is a post paid connection!". I laughed so much my stomach hurt.

Beta Gas entered the room. He'd gone for mid-night mass. And he wanted to attend another mass at 7 in the morning again. In between he wanted to get sloshed and ended up in the

ashram. Rasa was the first one to greet him- "Happy New Year Machan... please give my sixth peg!". Gas was stunned.

Poor Rasa... no one was giving him his "sixth peg!". He'd exhausted all his options. He didn't remember asking Jabbu though. Jabbu of course was busy exhausting every one's phone

balances. But now the great problem... Rasa was so blown he couldn't make out who Jabbu was. In fact he couldn't make out anyone. He came to me and said- "Jabbu, give me my sixth peg

Jabbu!". I told him to fuck off. He repeated this with everyone in the room. Even to the extent of waking poor Kulla and asking "Jabbu, give me my sixth peg!".

Jabbu walked in a little later and was observing Rasa's indiscretions. He was getting very very very angry. He decided enough was enough... he caught Rasa by the collar and told

him-" listen mother fucker... this is Jabbu here and I'm telling you to go to sleep". Rasa looks at Jabbu intently for about 5 seconds. Then he turned to Gas sitting on his left and

says- "Jabbu sixth peg?". Jabbu gave up.

Mani beta collapsed suddenly. I guess the booze effect had worn out and he realized he had been dancing non-stop for abt 4 hours. Mahadeo also crashed. So the party had gotten a bit

silent and Rasa was really creating a nuisance. Baba caught Rasa and told him "Rasa, come I'll tell you a story" and took him along laid him down and put him to sleep. Baba... Baba

aap mahaan ho!

Buddi was just warming up. He needed some place to sit and all the places had already been taken. So he decided to rest with his back against Rasa's ass. We told him to be careful we

didn't want that bugger to get up and cause us trouble again. Buddi was like- " Bull shit this guy's going to get up any time now" and whacked Rasa's ass so fucking hard to prove his

point. Not a sound from Rasa. "See"- Buddi said with finality.

Buddi continued- "when I came here... I thought I didn't know any of you... but now... I feel like I've known all of you all my life Machan!"

We all did a cheers to that. Buddi- "Machan... this is what I actually am Machan... not that fucking Disco/clubbing and all that hi-fi bull shit. I'm this... I'm a bastard!". One

more cheers to Buddi.

"Machan....Manipal SUCKS!"

Jabbu- "Manipal doesn't suck."

Buddi- "How the fuck do you know? I'm from there... I know... Manipal SUCKS!"

Jabbu- "K..K.. Manipal Sucks."

Buddi- "Who told you Manipal sucks? Ah? Bastard... I'm from there... Manipal doesn't suck."

One by one Buddi and Gas collapsed. Jabbu, Paneri, Baba and myself were still around. It was 7. Paneri was like- "Machan... I want to hear Cat Stevens!". Baba got up and played Cat

Stevens. We were listening to some emotional song about a father to his son. Jabbu couldn't handle it... he konked off.

Baba was like- "Boys it's 7:30... why don't we do breakfast?". We agreed. I stepped out of the room and my world was spinning. I knew I was out and I had to lie down. I excused

myself and crashed. I got up around 10:30. All the boys had gone to the terrace to see the spectacular event so I went up too. Paneri and Baba were up there and still drinking!

That new year night was by far the best new year's I've ever had in my life. I didn't make any resolutions that night(thankfully!). But there's one promise I want to make to you guys- I will never forget you! Cheers... God Bless!

Saturday Night Live!

2010-11-02T18:30:00.000+05:30

Well yes I'm back after a long hiatus. If you're expecting excuses then sorry you're going to be disappointed- I've run out of them!

I'm enjoying life in a new place. Well everything about the place is new( to me at least!). No one knows you... so you can give whatever build up you want about your past life and no one's the wiser(except yourself!). It's a new job (new career in fact!), new lifestyle( no more home cooked food- only bread and cornflakes for breakfast, 'meals' for lunch and 'something and anything'(read as 'soup' and 'maggi') for dinner, and small things like that.

But above all the best thing about a new place is the ability to make new friends. The first few weekends here in Cochin were excruciatingly painful. Of course it didn't help that I met with an accident and broke my hand... but that wasn't the real pain. The real pain was the emptiness of having to spend Sat night alone. I don't think I've ever done that in Chennai!

But now I have my Sat night buddies. A's a dentist- I call him Pallachi! (Mallu's and Tam's will get the pun intended- others just understand there is one!). N's a Ship Surveyor. WTF is that? Well, "it's like we give licences to ships like how RTO gives to cars"- his own words. "But isn't the license meant for the driver, in the sense, do you award licenses to the Captain and Co?" - I asked him. "No no no... you don't understand"- and he left it at that. So I can't really tell you what a Ship Surveyor is... sorry!

Anyway... two weekends back the 3 of us met up at my place and like all good boys in Mallu Land decided that we should head out for a drink. Now I'd come across this German guy 'R'- in a networking forum some time back. R seemed a friendly chap and I thought why not call him along. N & A agreed and so I called R.

It was nice(as in - entertaining!) to get directions from 'R' to his place. Mallu names(as in street names) sound so different when it comes off a German tongue.

We picked up R and headed to the Bar- wow that actually rhymes! But then the ultimate tragedy- Bars were closed because of elections and that meant our throats were going to be parched that night.

Never the mind that- we decided to head out somewhere else and get some grub. We went to a nice place and ordered food. The conversation was mainly small-talk. We were still getting used to each other I guess. A & N were busy talking about food. R was sitting across me, listening intently and understanding nothing. Suddenly out of the blue R steers the conversation to women.

" So how zo you approach women here?"- he asked me in his thick German accent.

I smiled. "Why do you ask?"

"oh... just curious... I heard zat most marriages are zet up by the family."

"That's true! We're still conservative."

"Ummmm... ztrange!"- he said, for the first time that night.

"well things are very different here in India. Most love affairs happen in college. Kids get aroused by the freedom they get in college and most of them decide to have a crack at a relationship. But by the time college ends they realize that they're incompatible and they just end it. Then it's the arranged marriage route"- I tried explaining.

"Ummmm... ztrange!"

"Do you have a girl in Germany?"- N enquired.

"Not any more! I broke up before coming to India!"- he smiled.

"Ah.. so you want to try some chick here eh?" A nudged R and smiled.

"Well yes... but the choice iz poor here!"- R said. And for a moment we were all stunned.

"Well maybe we have different tastes"- I tried explaining. (Indian women- please note that it was I who stood up for all of you!)

"No no... you should see girls in Germany. They come from all countries. Very beautiful girls!"- R said.

*A little of track here. Yes I looked in to R's facebook profile and checked out all his "hot" friends. And they really are "hot"! You think I'm a pervert for doing so? Well yes I am. I've checked most "hot" profiles on FB. I'm not apologetic about it at all. If you- who is reading this- consider yourself "hot', then rest assured that I have either checked your profile already or will be doing so in the near future! Amen!

"So how zo you approach girlz here?"- he asked again.

"Well you can't be direct here... you've got to be tactful."- I said.

"In the zenze?"

"Like how would you approach a girl in Germany?"

"Well... I zee her in ze Pub and approach her and azk her if she would like a drink. Then we get talking and... you know... exchange phone no'z before we leave".

"Ah... that wouldn't work here!"

"Why not?"

"Because girls here don't like their guys being too direct. You've got to layer your approach. You've got to use tact. Like you can't ask a girl if 'she wants a drink' staright away. You've got to start the conversation with something else. Like maybe the music playing in the club. Or maybe talk about one of her friends or your friends. The direct approach is a no no!"

"Ummmm.... ztrange"

"Yes... do you have your eyes on anyone?" I enquired.

"Ummm... yes... there iz a girl in the bus stand... she'z very pretty!"

"Indian?"- A enquired.

"Yes"- R answered.

"Hey for you it will be very easy man. You're white guy. Girls will be ready to help you."- N offered.

"Really? Zo what should I do?"

"Just go to the bus stop tomorrow and ask her where the bus to some place is. Then ask her to show you which bus it is and get in to it."- N said.

"But I already know which bus to take!"- R said.

"Doesn't matter. Ask anyway... it's a good way to start a conversation. Then next day when she sees you- smile! She'll hopefully smile back. Enquire after her and start a conversation slowly. Maybe you could take it some place slowly."
- I said.

"Ummmm.... ztrange! But zat is very slow yes? I'm here only for 9 months. Will I be able to get this girl before that?"

A cupped his shoulders in a way of offering his condolences and nodded in the negative.

The 10 things!

2010-08-17T13:11:00.000+05:30

Ah.... a Tag after a long time. I've been tagged my Mind Writer and I decided that it's been long and so I must comply.

CAUTION: Read at your own Risk!

Disclaimer: Mutual fund investments are subject to market risk. Reading this post may/can/will subject you to mental torture, agony, trauma, etc far beyond any mutual fund investment risk. It is suggested that you put the Ambulance no on your mobile ready to dial before reading this post.

If you've reached here... then I admire your bravery. Also I think you are an extreme risk-taker and no one should ever give you any insurance.

Well so here we go...

10 Things You Didn't Know About Me!

1. I am the guy in the previous post.
2. I am looking forward to getting married-so I can take a lot of dowry and live happily ever after. Besides, it's always nice to have someone else do the cleaning, laundry and cooking.
3. Rajnikanth once asked me to act in a movie with him... but I decided it wouldn't be fair to let the super-star play the role of a side-kick, and so I refused.
4. Vijay Mallya consults with me before hiring girls for Kingfisher Airlines and for the Kingfisher Calendar.
5. Karan Johar was in love with my friend Issam. He wanted him to change his name to KISSAM. But Issam refused and the love story died. It's in revenge that KJ makes all those sad movies.
6. Priyanka (Chopra), Deepika (Padukone) and Sonam(Kapoor) don't get along well because at one time they all had a crush on me. In fact my sources tell me that they still have strong feelings for me.
7. Barack Obama has to ask my permission before he says- "Yes We Can!"
8. The world is bullish on India because I stay here.
9. I am the 'Man of your dreams', if you are a girl. And the 'Man you dream to be', if you are a guy.
10. I am very ambigous. I could be telling the truth, or I could be lying. You never know.

You can now dial the number on your mobile. Thank you.

My Big Day!

2010-07-29T22:42:00.000+05:30

It was going to be the biggest day of my life. I had everything planned to the last detail and had spent the better part of 2 weeks planning this day. What was I going to do? I was going to propose Sylvia, my girl-friend of the past 5 months.

A Brief about Syliva: We met each other at an acquaintance’s place. She was new to Chennai (and smoking hot!) and so I offered to be her guide around the place. It was clear to her that there was a romantic side to this overture and she seemed to consent. We soon started dating.

Our first kiss was on the sofa in her apartment after our 3^rd date (she lives alone which is very convenient). We made love for the first time at the end of the 4^th date (also on the sofa in her apartment). And it’s been bliss ever since!

Sylvia is a language instructor. She is hot! She teaches French at the Alliance Francais. She is hot! She’s actually from Mauritius. She left her folks because of some problems and decided to move to some place else and be on her own. Luckily for me she decided on Chennai. And she is hot!

Sylvia is the first woman I’ve ever made love to. I was a virgin till 137 days ago.

Most people think that 25 is too old to be losing your virginity. But I didn’t think I was the pre-marital sex type. In fact the guys tease me about how I used to lecture them when they ‘enlightened’ me of their affairs. I don’t feel bad about it. I realize now that my virginity wasn’t a matter of principles but was actually a lack of opportunity. In fact I kind of feel ‘cool’ and 'with it' for once in my life. Now guys are talking about me like how I used to talk about them. They must be envious of me like how I used to envy them. Life has come a full circle.

Sylvia- you’ve made me cool. Sylvia- you’ve made me a man. Sylvia- you’ve given me confidence. Sylvia- you’ve showed me the light. Sylvia-you’re sweet. Sylvia- you’re intelligent. Sylvia- you’re funny. Sylvia- you’re hot! Sylvia- you’re all that a man could ask for. Sylvia- you deserve only the best. Sylvia- I love you!

A girl like this comes once in your life guys. So when she comes… you better do everything possible to keep her with you forever. I decided that I wanted to marry Sylvia and I spent 2 weeks planning the perfect proposal.

Now you don’t know me too well. But if you did, then you would know that I’m thrifty (almost stingy actually!). One needs to be conscious of how much one spends (not around women of course!). I don’t make much and have to do with what I have. I used to balk at the way guys used to blow money on girls. But experience has taught me that when you are in a relationship your wallet is in the relationship too(and it better be loaded!).

First of course I needed to purchase a ring. I’d done some research with friends and the consensus was that I should go in for a ‘diamond studded platinum ring’. This was supposed to be the ‘flavor’ of the season and a guy just ‘had to’ go for it.

It was kind of intimidating as well as embarrassing for me to walk in to a jewelry shop. A guy doesn't know what he can/can't afford to look at. It's awfully emabarrassing to ask for something that looks nice and then realize later that you can't afford it. I don’t remember buying a ring(or any sort of jewelery) ever before and had absolutely no expertise in the subject. The ring was going to be(or has to be!) a very expensive affair, of that there was no doubt. But, it’s a tradition-‘A guy always proposes with a ring’.

So I went in to the showroom and the sales-lady there greeted me with a fake-smile. I asked for diamond-platinum engagement rings and she showed me the whole collection.

“This is in the Rs 15,000/- to Rs 25,000 range”- she said.

Platinum looked like silver to me. In fact out of curiosity I took some silver ear-rings that were nearby and placed a ring beside it. You couldn’t tell the 2 were made from different metals (is there a conspiracy here?). Also the diamonds on the rings were very very tiny. This was going to cost me my month’s pay and I definitely deserved more.

I decided to ignore that it looked so much like silver and settled for a ring that had 4.660 g of Platinum and a single diamond- 0.095 carat (That doesn’t read like much but trust me- it is). It was a very pretty ring and I was very pleased with it. It cost me Rs 22,386/-. (I consoled myself saying-“Hell, it’s only this one time, it’s going to be worth it”)

This was my first expense for the event and I was a little hesitant at first. But once that ring was in my pocket it was like the dam had been breached. I went on a spending spree.

I didn’t want to compromise on anything and wanted it to be the perfect proposal. I was willing to do anything to get her to say “yes”.

Now I had to choose the right place to propose. After considering many places I finally settled on Bella Ciao- An Italian restaurant. I’d never taken her there before (too expensive!). It was by the beach and from the terrace you had this amazing view of the sea. Sylvia loved Italian food and so the place was a perfect choice. I’d arranged for a corner table and a private waiter for the night, and also arranged for the band to play her favorite music (Elton John, Lionel Ritchie and George Michael).

I bought Sylvia a very sexy black dress from an up-market boutique. This was going to be my present to her on the big night. I went and bought myself an expensive suit piece, shirt, tie and also a pair of shoes.

The day before the big day I went to a posh saloon and got myself a hair-cut, a facial, a manicure and a massage. I went to the florists on the day of the big date and ordered a huge bouquet to be delivered at the restaurant.

I’d exceeded the credit limit on my card and was now paying from my savings. This relationship had placed considerable strain on my financial resources- past, present and future. Well, like they say- “a man has to be generous in love”.

Finally, I hired a Merc E-Series taxi for the night. The driver came complete with white uniform, cap and gloves. Yes, this was going to be ‘the night’.

The taxi picked me up from my place and we went to her apartment. I went up there with a box of chocolates, a small bouquet and the dress gift-wrapped. She opened the door and was visibly surprised with the whole get up. I gave her the gifts and told her that we were going out ‘somewhere special’ and that I wanted her to wear that particular dress. She hugged me and went in to change. She took forever to get ready and I was sure we were going to miss our reservation. But when she came out looking like a billion dollars I was smiling.

We went to the restaurant. All the waiters were extremely courteous to us (no doubt expecting a huge tip at the end of the night). The flowers adorned our table. Our personal waiter adjusted our chairs for us and placed napkins on our laps. He also enquired after ‘the Madame’ and went about suggesting things from the menu and setting things up. A bottle of champagne came to our table in an ice-bucket. The band was playing ‘Hello’- by Lionel Ritchie. Everything was going perfectly according to plan.

We went about our meal very quietly making only the occasional small-talk. This was slightly unnatural. Maybe she was too surprised by everything. She hadn’t the slightest inkling of what was happening and maybe there was a sense of nervousness, I suppose, about what to expect next.

I decided to propose after dessert. So once our ‘Panetonne’ was over I whispered in the waiter’s ear to get the band to stop playing. Lot of attention was turned to us because the waiters kept looking our way anxiously. I could have done without the attention, but you don’t always get what you want. In a way all the attention made it even more ‘romantic’.

So I took the ring from my pocket got down on one knee and said,

“Sweetheart… I know these lines are corny. But this is the best I could come up with.”

I cleared my throat and started-

“The moment I met you,

I knew my dreams could come true.

You’ve turned my life for ever,

And I want to return the favour.

I want to be beside you for life,

So will you please agree to be my wife!”

There were tears in her eyes. I took out the ring and placed it on her finger. She looked at me and she was still crying. She was crying harder and harder and then I realized that something was going wrong. This was not the ‘happy- crying’. This was the ‘sad-crying’ and my heart began to fall.

She kept saying –“Oh God! Oh God!”, and continued with her sobbing. It was quiet a scene there. Our waiter looked visibly upset. The band decided to move on and started playing some songs again. In the meanwhile, I was trying to calm her down and get some clue as to what was happening.

I caught her shoulders and said- “Darling, please stop! Tell me what is happening”.

She looked at me and she was almost choking. This wasn’t anything like I had envisaged. This was crazy.

I said- “Darling I know you’re Catholic and I’m Hindu. It doesn’t matter, we’ll find a way. I’m sure my folks will understand and even if they don’t, don’t worry. I love you. We’ll find a way.”

She kept crying. This was really crazy.

“Darling if you want we’ll go and meet your folks in Mauritius you know. I’ll tell them I love you. We’ll try and convince them. We’ll settle all the family issues. Don’t worry. We’ll handle everything”.

It didn’t stop.

“Darling, any, any problem I will solve. Baby I’m sure I can. I’ll do anything for you love. You know that.”

She went on and on. I was getting a little frustrated. It was already very embarrassing.

“Darling- is it that you don’t love me? Can you please stop crying and give me an answer. I think I deserve an answer”.

In between heavy sobs she looked at me and said- “I’ve lied to you”.

“About what? Are you already married?”

“No Ash, I’m not normal.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean I can’t bare children.”

This was a big jolt to me. All along I had dreams of a little Ashwin and a little Sylvia that would complete our small family. So when she said this a small portion of my world collapsed.

“Why can’t you bare children? Is it a medical problem? Can it be corrected?”

“No, it can’t be corrected.”

“Look, we’ll find a way. We’ll adopt maybe and...”

She cut me mid-sentence and said-“you don’t understand Ashwin. I was not born a woman. I was born Sylvester. I had a sex-change operation and that’s how I’ve become Sylvia.”

A Lesson from History

2010-07-03T15:54:00.000+05:30

I consider myself fortunate in that I still have some link with the village in which my ancestors lived. My grandfather built his house there, and my grandma and uncle's family still stay in the same place.

It's a beautiful place that still retains it's historical charm. Now this is more like personal history. Stuff like- where my grand-father used to sit after his walk- or where my grandmother's family lived- the small rivulet which, back in the old days, they had to cross by swimming (back then there was no bridge as there is now). There is a statue of Mahatma Gandhi in the village school which was donated by my great-grandfather. Small stuff which make me feel very connected to this little village, though I've hardly spent any time at all there.

Like all good villages my village too has it's own history and folklore. The Shivan Temple in the village is supposed to be over 800 years old! But the most eventful and interesting bit of common history(as different from personal!) for all you folks out there will be this: Tipu Sultan had come to my village!

Yes, the story goes that the great- 'Tiger Tipu' had set foot in my little village all those many centuries back. Now Tipu Sultan, for those of you who don't know, is one of the most famous Kings from Indian History. He ruled over the state of Mysore in the late 18th century, and for long was the British's most feared enemy in India. He fought many battles with the Brits, but he lost the war and had to surrender his kingdom. And with that, the last whiff of resistance to British rule was put out.

For this reason many consider Tipu to be a great hero. There was even a television series on him that used to play on National TV. He's part of Indian Legend. But the story coming out of my village was very different.

According to folks in the village, Tipu was a ruthless plunderer who cut down/grabbed anything that came his way. He was responsible for some savage acts of brutality and one of these has actually to do with my village.

One peculiar thing about my village is that there are no Brahmins. For those of you wondering what's so peculiar about that- let me explain. Most villages in India are organized along caste. Each caste will be represented in each village. You don't have a village of only high-caste or only low-caste people. Each caste fulfilled a particular role or duty to fit in the larger scheme of things. That's why in most villages you find that each caste will be represented.

But there are no Brahmins in my village(which hopefully now, after my explanation, you will find peculiar!). The story was that Tipu came to the village and ordered the Brahmins to convert. The Brahmins refused and, in an act of most savage brutality, he killed the whole lot of them and destroyed the main temple.

Proof that this temple existed has been found. It's on top of a hill right next to my village. It is said that in the olden days it was as famous and sacred as Sabarimala. Sabarimala has only 18 steps to climb. But this hill has 200 steps. The villagers have got together recently(recently in my village is 50 years back) and re-built the temple.

So reading the above story you will understand why I didn't admire Tipu like most others did. To me- he fit the perfect stereotype of Muslim ruler and I hated him for that. Stories and legends like that make you believe in what many of our Hindutva brigade are saying. They make your blood boil.

But this last time when I went to my village I decided to do a bit of research on the topic. I found an old book that was titled -" The History of Kakkayur". Kakkayur is incidentally my village's name. The book was in Malayalam(which I can't read) and was supposed to be very well researched. I got my 2 younger cousins to sit with me and we went through the whole thing.

Finally we reached the legend of Tipu in Kakkayur. According to the book- Tipu never asked the Brahmins to convert. It was a devious scheme of the erstwhile Nair community(which I belong to!) to use Tipu's services and drive out the Brahmins from the village and become the most important caste. The book doesn't go in to the details of what exactly happened but just gives the brief. Oh... and the Brahmins... they didn't die... they just shifted base to a nearby place and started a village out there all on their own. This village still exists!

Oh... and the temple... it wasn't destoyed by Tipu. It was destroyed in a great fire.

So you see... everyone has their own little version of history. People bend history to suit their needs. My ancestors must have known that they were complicit in driving the Brahmins out of Kakkayur and thus decided to villify Tipu Sultan to save themselves. And that legend just passed on and on and on.

What did I learn from the whole thing? Don't jump to conclusions on history. Do your own research. Usually people are hiding something somewhere. It's for you to dig and find out.

And I'm not singling out my ancestors here, or my caste. Everyone's guilty of the same thing. At a personal/ group level we all make up stories along the way- and finally we end up believing those stories. And that's an important lesson for us to learn from history!

Was I any Good?

2010-05-29T11:06:00.001+05:30

"Was I any Good?"- I asked her.
She looked at me and smiled- "Your first time eh?".
I nodded.
"Hmmmm... well I usually don't reveal such stuff to my clients"
"Please... please tell me... I have to know."
"No kiddo... I can't... sorry".
"Please..."
She started toward the door. I got up, ran and blocked the way.
"What's this shit? You want me to call my guy?"
"Just tell me if I was good or not."
"You're wasting my time boy... in my profession, more than any, time is money and I'm not paid to give my judgement".
I took out a 100 and gave it to her. She took it and smiled.
She ruffled my hair and said- "you were absolutely fantastic boy!". Then she laughed and walked out.
Somehow I got the feeling that I'd been taken.

Counting Caste

2010-05-12T23:48:00.000+05:30

Over the past few days parliament has been busy debating whether caste should be counted in the on-going census(they've finally decided to go ahead and do so). There seem to be deep divisions within the national parties over the issue. Quite predictably the regional caste based partied have all embraced the idea. Most of the educated middle-class will see the exercise as further vindication of their long-held belief that the political class is out to make maximum mileage of the caste issue.

Caste is a burning issue in India. The uproar and violence over the Mandal commission and the more recent OBC reservation issue only assuages that fact. As a nation we have never been comfortable with caste. It's a scar on our national psyche- one that most of us want to be rid off. But it's here and present and has manifested itself in different ways in Indian society(think matrimonial ads in newspapers!). For long our country was held back because of the deeply oppressive caste system. It was the dream of our founding fathers to get rid of it as soon as possible and with this in mind a slew of measures were introduced. We have many many schemes targeted at people from the economically and socially backward castes. But all these measures seem to have failed at creating a modern- free- casteless society.

One could argue about the merits in pursuing something that doesn't seem to have worked. But the truth is that some of these schemes have done some good work at the ground level. They've made a change in the public perception and that's a good thing. I might be unpopular for saying this- but some schemes based on caste are needed in India(presently). Sometimes social stigma can be removed only when those who govern aggressively intervene to make society more fair and inclusive.(This is especially true in a society that doesn't do enough by itself to help the down-trodden/excluded)

So when you see caste based schemes as necessary then it becomes imperative that there be data on which to base these schemes and study their effectiveness. So counting caste might be good for the planners, and if the wise voters of the land decide to do so, the success of these plans can also be measured by this.

However, the truth is counting caste is in ways further perpetuating it. In some ways it is giving official sanctum to the centuries old social caste structures as in registering it and keeping records of it gives it more of a legality. This is something that the government should be wary of.

While counting caste itself might not be a wrong thing and might even be needed in today's India, our leaders should not forget the vision of our forefathers. If counting caste and having caste based schemes is a necessary evil of today's society then it is important to also balance policy by making effective schemes that target eradicating caste. This is the need of modern India and one hopes that our leaders will have the intelligence and heart to do the same.

IPL 3

2010-04-27T23:52:00.000+05:30

The 'Grand Tamasha' is finally over. And what a 'Tamasha' it was...IPL 3 has come to an end with my home team- 'Chennai Super Kings' lifting the trophy. Personally I couldn't have asked for more.

Unfortunately a bit of sheen of the victory has been lost thanks to scandals surrounding the game. Even Chennai's own Hindu newspaper decided that the IPL drama merited front page news over the victory. Such is the state of affairs right now.

I don't want to get in to the whole IPL fiasco right now. I'd like to savour the moment and highlight some of the good things of IPL 3.

The best thing of IPL 3 is that we won (pretty obvious that one). Chennai's been the most consistent team through all seasons of IPL. It was a last minute entry in to the semi-finals, but I think the team managed to win the crucial moments and that's what's made the difference.

Dhoni has been the stand-out. His whirlwind innings against Punjab, that saw Chennai enter the semis, created momentum and from then on the team dominated everyone that came it's way. A captain's knock can do that a team, and Dhoni delivered when it mattered. Even in the finals- it was Dhoni's one handed six that set the tempo for Chennai's flourish towards the end of it's batting. He's an astute leader, reads the game brilliantly and uses his resources very wisely. Opening with Ashwin has been one of his successes in the tournament and the rookie offie responded brilliantly to the challenge.

No analysis of Chennai will be complete without mentioning Suresh Raina. He has been the stand-out player of the IPL. He's matured and plays according to the situation. Most importantly he backs himself and that's what's brought him his success. He's just 24 years of age and already the leading scorer of IPL. I have no doubt that he will go down as one of the legends in IPL history.

Murali Vijay looks like the next big thing to happen to Indian cricket. His clean hitting has attracted everyone. And if he uses the opporunity that he's got he will look back at IPL 3 as the defining moment of his career. Dougie Bollinger bowled brilliantly when it mattered. His pace brought more fire-power to the bowling unit. My favourite Chennai player for this IPL has been R. Ashwin. I hated him for losing that match against Punjab. But what a turn-around he brought to his game since that. Bowling within the first 6 overs- his accurate bowling proved decisive more than once. Even in the finals- he set the tempo for Chennai in the second innings by bowling a maiden in the very first over. For me, Ashwin and Ojha are the bowlers to watch-out for in the future. They will most likely be the main-stay of our bowling attack in the years to come.

Badrinath had a good tournament, though he still doesn't look very comfortable in this format. Muralitharan bowled well in patches. I think age is finally catching up with the old wizard. Jakati provided good support in the middle, though his lack of variations made him predictable and thus a target for the sloggers. Albie Morkel has been Chennai's war-horse. He's there to bowl, bat, field and do anything and everything. He had a very good tournament and that's been a big reason for Chennai's success.

Mathai Hayden didn't have a very good tournament. His name still evokes fear in the opposition and that may have been good enough reason to play him. But he's definitely not looked like the Hayden of yore. Barring that one whirl-wind knock against Delhi there's nothing much to write home about for Hayden. It was strange to see Hayden being over-shadowed by a relative new-comer Murali Vijay. It might well turn-out to be Hayden's last IPL. He's been great for Chennai- just not in this IPL.

Chennai's Indian pace attack looked completely out-of-sorts and got hammered in most games. Balaji looks totally low on confidence. Sudip Tyagi and Gony need to work on bowling better. The other players played their bit- parts too. Hussey didn't get too much of a chance to play. I'm sure he'll be slotted in during the Champions League. Thilan Thusharra looks a genuine prospect. It was unfortunate that he couldn't play more despite peforming in the limited chances that he got. Makhaya Ntini was wasted. I don't know why he didn't play at all- he should have been given a game atleast. Parthiv Patel, poor chap, initially he played as an opener though Dhoni was already there to keep. But with Vijay coming in to his own, the guy had to make way. Aniruddha Srikanth's cameos in the semis and finals were very important, though the performances themselves were too small to judge the guy by.

I was watching the finals with a few friends of mine and we went absolutely over-the-top when Chennai won. It was just fantastic. We are not the most flamboyant city in India. We don't have the history of Delhi or Hyderabad, nor the madness of Mumbai, nor the character of Kolkatta, nor the brazeness of Bangalore. Quite often our city is given the skip when people talk about important cities in India. It is like Chennai is the city that almost is but isn't- and it's always been so.

Last Sunday's victory was special. It was our time under the sun. Chennai now has something that everyone else had been dreaming about- Chennai is the IPL 2010 Champions! Take that everyone! : )

Publishing Dreams

2010-03-28T23:31:00.001+05:30

Like all good bloggers, I too dream of one day being able to write a book and getting it published. In fact blogging is actually a means to that end.

I started off trying to see what I was good at( I still don't have a clue. Creating a bit of controversy- maybe! :P). I thought blogging would help clear a lot of things in my mind. That hasn't happened the way I foresaw it. But still having over 50 followers has given me some sort of confidence.

No, but seriously, what genre of writing do you think would suit me? I've tried a few things here. Please don't say autobiography. I have a long way to go before writing that. And don't ask me to write your life story. Even a writer of formidable talent such as mine is going to find that task a little too difficult to accomplish.

Look at the scenario like this. You are given a writer(me- bad luck eh? :P) and you can ask me to write a novel/book on any topic under the sun. Remember I'm the author(I won't let you forget!). So what kind of book would it be?

Right... so you think about that and leave your answers in the comments section of this post. Now we come to the second part. Once my book is published I'll need people to buy the books so I can earn royalties. Now I come from a fairly large family(when extended). So I could easily sell about 50 books in the family itself. That's a start. Now all readers of this blog( yes, that includes you) will buy 2 copies each. Why 2? Well, check both copies for spelling mistakes. ; )

So that means around a 100 books will be sold. You, thought you would get yours for free? Ha! Don't you remember that story of the wise man who said there's no such thing as 'free-lunch'. Well, there are no free books either- at least there won't be from this wise author!

Well, let's get back to being serious. I'm sure most of you there would have thought of getting published some day. And I'm sure quite a few of you have already got stuff published. I'd be happy to learn from your experiences. What is it like? What are the procedures? Who are the big guys and small guys of the publishing world and which guys are open to new concepts and ideas? I'm sure these questions pass through most aspiring writer's minds.( not to forget the never-ending task of trying to come up with a decent enough story!)

I'd written somewhere that I wanted to get my book published by the end of this year. I have no clue if I'm going to be able to keep my target. I hope I can. I have an idea in my head and I've had it in there for sometime. I've discussed the idea(story) with a few people and the response has been generally favorable. No, I'm not going to share tid-bits here. You'll have to buy the book to find out more. Have To! : )

So hopefully someday in the not too distant future you will have a book in your shelf with Ajai Ravi Kesavan written on the cover. Cheers to that. : )

Ahem Ahem!

2010-03-23T23:42:00.000+05:30

I've been there... done that.

Been where and done what? Disappeared, and come back promising my readers that I'd be more regular with my posts and catching up with my blog-dost's posts. But... there is only one AJai Ravi Kesavan. Thank God for that will you please. : )

Blogging sort of went in to the background. After the initial high(which lasted a year) I sort of let it run through. Sort of became complacent. I'm known for this. Most of my friends reading this post will be nodding their heads reading this and saying to themselves.."yes.. that's our AJai".

Well... I am like that. I don't like it. To be fair I have been kinda busy. Been sort of running around a lot. Doing a lot of traveling. So getting time to write was one thing.

And the biggest mistake I made was waiting for something to write. That's not good. You've just got to go with the flow sometimes. Write whatever comes to you at the moment. Like I am doing now.

Blogging is not a high stakes game. It's an outlet. If people like your stuff... good for you. If they don't... doesn't matter. You've got to go with your flow. It's the place to experiment. To fine-tune your talent. To practice, to learn and to grow.

I thought I'd keep a day in the week for blogging... or something like that. But I don't want it to be that way. It should be more instinctive. That's better na?

So Dear Reader, if you've made it till here you're obviously someone who cares a lot. Do come back here. I hope to have something exciting for you each time. Take Care.

AJai

The Actor's Diary

2010-02-22T12:06:00.000+05:30

Well here it is. The much awaited post is here. I can see long queues lining up outside. Wait! This is a blog post not a cinema hall!

So my dear fans, this is where I reveal all. You privileged readers get the first dope on the making of the next phenoMenon!

K... Enough of hype. That bit should have attracted the eye-balls. 8 ). So here we go.

Well it all started with a lil write-up in the paper about auditions for a play. I called up and they asked me to come and audition. There was a fairly big crowd, people were constantly coming and going. There was the core bunch who were running the show. So I went and approached them. They gave me a small script and asked me to read from it. It was something funny. I seemed to have done quite well. I was called for the next round. I also came to know that it was a pantomime. Well, to be honest I didn't have a clue as to what that was so I came back home opened the dictionary and checked the word out. So then things started making sense.

So I went the next day and there was a huge crowd. We were all made to stand in a circle. We did some small exercises where we had to portray funny scenes in a single shot- like a photo. Then we had to mouth some funny lines and stuff like that.

Then comes the funny part- I was down with a bad bout of diarrohea. I couldn't follow up with the auditions and I thought well that's the end of that. 2 weeks later I thought well let me call up and see... maybe I'll get tiny bitty role. Even that would be great. I called and the director said I could come over.

I did. And improv's were going on. Improv is short for improvisation. You are given a scene or a character and you have to enact it. By now we had the outline of the play so people were trying the different characters they wanted to portray. I just watched the first time. I didn't have a clue what needed to be done. After that day's proceedings the director singled me out and said that I would have to do an improv the next day.

So I went back home and I thought up an improv. I went the next day and performed it. And it went of superb. I got a real long loud applause and I was pleased as punch. I so badly wanted to portray the villain. I have written about this improv before. It's here.

So after my improv I went back and sat down with everyone. And I could hear whispers, people were saying- "you know this guy would make a fantastic Bond!".

Next day and the day after that nothing much happened. Then casting was going to be announced. There were going to be heroes, heroines, villains, the support cast etc. There were going to be 4 heroes. Superman, Harry Potter, Shaktimaan...and aloha... I became Bond... James Bond!

I love Bond. I love the movies, the books, the character everything about it. So I thought this was going to be fun. But now the problem comes. Bond is a suave, sophisticated, smart guy. We were doing a pantomime which is an over the top comedy. The two don't necessarily go with each other.

The thing with Pantomimes is that the director will tell the actors where he expects the scene to go. That's all. It's for the actors to come up with improvs by themselves. And I was having a horrid time with that. My lines wouldn't work. Quite often in the middle of a scene I wouldn't know what to do, what expression to portray. Initially thing had started of brilliantly for me... but now it was all going horribly wrong.

Oh... I forgot to add one more thing. Pantomimes have songs and dances. And I found out 2 things. 1- I'm a lousy singer. 2- I'm a lousy dancer. The dancing routines were simply terrifying. Thankfully I didn't have to sing.

You know when things have to go wrong they will. People were telling me my voice was not loud enough, my acting was pathetic, my dancing was even worse than that. I was going in to a shell and I didn't know what to do.

Everyone else was already in character. So they were coming up with their quirks. They were coming up with the spontaneous responses to situations and stuff like that. And I was totally and completely lost. I knew I'd made one big bloody mistake.

Then about 3 weeks from show time the director asked everyone to write feedback about what they felt about everything in the play. I was honest and I wrote that I was screwing up big time. The feedbacks were read out to everyone. Turns out that everyone else felt the same about me. : )

A couple of days after that the director called me aside and told me frankly that my character was not working. I agreed. He told me to come up with something quickly otherwise I'd be thrown out and they'd replace me with a professional. I was bringing the whole play down and that was not fair to the others. I agreed.

So I knew I was going to be thrown out. I was pondering on whether I should go for the show when it happens. It would be odd sitting in the audience after being a part of it for so long. On the other hand I wanted to know how the play would shape up. So I went for that day's improv with nothing to lose.

I don't know if it was the Steve Martin/ Rowan Atkinson videos I was watching, but that day my character clicked. I played a goofy Bond. A wannabe Bond. And from then on things started falling in to place. I started building rapport with my fellow actors. My character started working, our scenes started working.

I was the last guy to get in to character. Most of the scenes had come out already. So I didn't have as many lines as say the other 4 heroes. That added to my resentment initially. But later I didn't care too much about it. You see I was still a hero and that meant I would have a lot of time on stage. And dialogue is only one part of acting. More important than that is emoting. For that you have to get in to character to be able to pull it off. Now that I finally had my character I was able to emote properly and even my emotions were getting noticed. I was thrilled.

So finally the shows came. Our first show was for a school. Our whole performance was not up to the mark. It was my first time on stage. So I made more than a few mistakes. Like for eg- I would leave stage as my normal self. You can't do that. You have to leave in character. I had to leave like the goofy Bond.

Sat night show. The crowd was just awesome. I think the crowd helped me a lot. When you crack that first joke and the audience laughs... it's one of the best feelings in the world. I think I gave a good performance there.

Sunday morning I was tired. I had to run in the morning to meet a friend. Show was in the evening and night. I don't knw what but I just didn't feel right about Sunday evening show. And I didn't perform very well. No one said anything to me. But I felt it inside. I didn't have the energy. I felt I'd let myself down. I think I had too many things on my mind.

So before Sun night show I got in to costume and then I just sat on a bench just behind the auditorium and closed my eyes to everything. Guys were all coming to stare at me. I was like the "Bond Buddha!".I didn't care. I just did it. I don't believe in meditation and all generally. But that time I just felt like doing it and I did.

And I think I gave my best performance on Sunday evening. I was totally completely in character. I had energy. I didn't miss anything( at least nothing that I can remember!). It was a good show for me and most of the cast too. It was great.

So that was my acting sojourn. I had a blast. I have learnt many things about myself. I have learnt that I love acting. I have learnt to respect people who are actors. It's not as easy as it seems. It is most definitely not.

I hope I will get to do more plays in my life. Crossing my fingers. : )

Back from the Blast

2010-02-16T11:42:00.001+05:30

Hi folks. I know I haven't been blogging quite as regularly as I used to. But it's only because life was getting incredibly hectic. Mornings I had to dedicate time to my work. And evenings were taken up by rehearsals. I'd get back home only by 11. And after all that running and dancing you really don't feel like sitting in front of a monitor.

The play went off really well. We did 4 shows and all were full houses. I will blog about my experience soon. But let this post be like a warm up. You know... so that I can get back in to the groove.

The crazy schedule of the past few weeks means I've not been able to do many of the things that I like doing. Blogging is one of them. Reading is another. Doing the morning sudoku, stuff like that. Small things. But things that you know... make you you or me me. Things that one enjoys doing. I mean I want to do so many things everyday of my life. But I almost never get in to any routine.

Why is it like that? Why is it so difficult to strike a balance? Life shouldn't be so complicated. Life shouldn't be about having to make a choice between 2 (or more great) options. We should be able to bake the cake and eat the whole thing too.

And the key to unlock this great mystery of life is discipline. Yes... the dreaded 'D' word. My life is one big gigantic battle with this 'D' word. And, quite frankly, I always end up having to wave the white flag.

Well, not any more I said to myself last night. I'd taken a day off after the madness of the weekend(we had the shows over the weekend). So I told myself- 'Tuesday morning and you are going to get back in to the groove and extract vengeance on D. Muhahahahahahahaha!'

I decided that I was going to get up early(by 6). Take Kasper out for his walk. Then go for a swim and then get back and get to work and...

So I got everything ready for the next morning. Put my mobile alarm for 6, my table clock alarm for six and off I went to sleep at 11. Kasper himself is an early riser.( He's been thoroughly spoilt by my folks. Gets up at 6 in the morning and all. Sheeeesh!). So in any case I had to get up early to take him out.

And so the next morning I opened my eyes and saw Kasper lying at my feet. I felt around for my mobile and looked in to the screen and realized that it had switched off- no battery. And then I finally looked in to the table clock and that had stopped at exactly 12:15. So I went in to the drawing room to look at the time. It was 8AM. Everything in the universe had conspired against me.

K... this is bit like Tom & Jerry isn't it? Me and the D. Gosh! Will somebody please change the script please. At least once please. Pleeeeech!

CONDOMNATION!

2010-01-06T12:00:00.003+05:30

Hi folks! Happy New Year to all of you. Hope you had a blast. And hope that this new year brings in lots of joy and happiness. : )

It's my first post of this new year. I thought it should be a little light-hearted one. I hope you like it.

ps: This post is complete fiction! Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. If this resmbles your life in any way do contact me. We will have lots to discuss. : ).

Scene: Son has returned home after spending the night out. He gets inside the house and without saying a word goes in to his room and goes for a bath. His mother is very upset that he's spent the night out and wants to find out what he's been up to. So she picks up his wallet and takes a look inside. She finds a condom! Below is the conversation that takes place between Mother, Father & Son. I've used M,F & S for ease of typing. 

M: You know what I found when I looked inside Amit's wallet?

F: Please Lakshmi! Stop it! Give the boy his freedom. Stop snooping around.

M: Yes, give the boy his freedom! And see how he abuses that freedom! [Shows condom to Dad]

F: My God! You found that in his wallet?

M:Yes!

F: Well, I don't know what to say or do. I feel cheated.

M: You will confront him. Don't just sit on it like you did when you found out he's been smoking.

F: Yes, it's high time we had a talk with him and made it clear that he's crossed the line.

Son enters the room.

M: You lying scoundrel! You cheat! You disgust me!

S: What's happening? What's all the fuss about?

F: We found this! [Pulls out condom]

S: Where did you find it?

M: That's not important.

S: You searched my wallet didn't you? When will you people learn to respect my privacy!

M: Respect your privacy? We gave you so much freedom. See how you've abused that freedom and betrayed us.

F: I'd like to respect your freedom son. But, I have to agree with your mother on this one.

S: I cannot agree. You have infringed on my privacy.

M: The nerve of you! You think roaming about with this[points at condom] is the right thing?

S: Well, would you rather that I not use it?

F: We are asking you to refrain from the act where you will need to use it.

S: Why? The law is cool with it. Why are you folks having such a problem with it?

M: Have you no respect for our culture? Our traditions? We brought you up to respect these things.

S: Well, my culture and traditions taught me nothing about sex. I had to find out about it on my own.

F: What do you mean?

S: Remember Dad, long time back, when I was a kid, I asked you how babies are born. And you said that the mother & father get together and pray really hard and that's how babies are born. I lived with that lie till I was 14. Only then I found out the truth!

F: Well, you were too small to understand the truth.

S: I agree. But I had to find out someday. You do want grand-children don't you?

M: My God! Look how he's talking back!

F: Lakshmi, please, let's handle this like mature adults!

S: Thanks Dad, I appreciate that. When I found out the truth I didn't confront both of you. I knew it was a sensitive topic and one that cannot be discussed with parents. I understood that. I respect that.

M: Come back to the point. So why are you carrying this thing[points to condom] in your wallet?

S: I keep it in there so because I don't want you to know about it. It's not like a pen or paper that I can keep on my table. Let's face it... sex is a sensitive topic and being too open about it is not cool. And these are the kind of things you want to hide from your folks.

M: Why must you hide anything from us?

S: Amma you want me to be completely honest with you about everything? Like should I discuss my first-night with you?

F: Son, I think you're stepping the line.

S: It's an honest question Dad. Can I discuss that with you? No na. It's inappropriate. There are some things that you need to keep hidden.

F: All right, you made your point. You can find out about sex. But where's the need to practise it?

S: Dad would you have allowed me to drive a car on the highway after reading about it? I had to practise it first and then only go on the main roads. I learnt to drive and only then did I learn what kind of car I like, how I like to drive and things like that.

M: Muruga! Look how he talks!

F: Why can't you wait and get that experience with your wife?

S: Supposing I'm bad? Or she's bad? Or we are just incompatible? Isn't it better to find out things first before going in to marriage. Marriage is a big-big commitment.

M: But what will your wife think? How will she be able to trust you?

S: I'll be honest with her. I think that's extremely important in a marriage. Similarly if she's not a virgin I'd like to know first. I'm k with it if she's not a virgin. But, I want her to be honest with me.

M: Aiyo Rama! Why didn't I die before this day!

S: Marriage has to be built on trust Ma. I've learnt this from you two only. I'm just applying it to my life.

F: Trust is important. But some traditions are too!

S: Right Dad. And so what? The astrologer will tell me if this girl will be a good mate for me? The stars will reveal if this girl is a virgin or not? Tradition or trust? Most people fake things nowadays. You know it.

M: We'll find a 'pure-girl' for you.

S: Ya right, you're going to do a full body check up on her? And Mom, these days there are corrective surgeries. You won't know the truth even after checkin her thoroughly.

F: K, let's move away from this. I want you to understand that sex is a very sensitive thing.

S: I agree Dad.

F: Yes it has many consequences. You could get your partner pregnant. You could contract sexual diseases. It could have social consequences for you and your partner.

S: I agree Dad. That's why I use a condom and that's why I'm discreet about it.

Mother and Father are stumped!

"Rocket Singh"- Movie Review

2009-12-23T13:05:00.001+05:30

I rarely go to movies. But this is one of those that I didn't want to miss out on. Many reasons and I'm going to list them here.

Firstly- Shimit Amin. He has given us the blockbuster- 'Chak De India'. But before that he gave us - 'Ab Tak Chappan'; a movie that will go down as a classic in Indian cinema. Second, I liked the little jig that Ranbir Kapoor was doing in the promo video. And finally, when I came to know that the movie was about a Salesman, I just had to catch it. For the record- My Dad's a sales guy, my Uncles are sales guys, I'm in the same line... so ya... sales kind of runs in the family.

The movie builds up really well. The scene where Ranbir Kapoor is given an intro to the job by his senior is simply brilliant. I could visualize my Dad and Uncles as the senior, and me as Harpreet Singh, looking in awe at the whole thing.

The dude who plays the Senior Salesman was just outstanding. Those are the atypical characteristics of any salesman. He's constantly looking for extra information and he knows how and when to use it. He's building a network with the 'chaay-wala', the watchman etc. He's in on the gossip of the company he's selling to. He tries to sneek in to files. Constantly on the prowl. Constantly sweet-talking.

I even remember my uncle telling me to tuck my tie in to my pocket when we were having lunch. A scene that is almost exactly re-made in the movie.

The performances are brilliant. I don't know most of the cast except for Gauhar Khan. (Yes, she's hot- and that's why I know her!) The rest of the crowd were mostly new faces; but all played their roles brilliantly.

To be honest I am kinda disappointed with the ending of the movie. I wish there were more twists and turns. And the paces slackens considerably toward the end.

The movie has a nice message. But it doesn't get too preachy; which is a good thing. I don't want to reveal too much here.

I still think it's worth a watch. So go catch it. :). Ta-da!

December 6th 1992 and Me

2009-12-19T14:57:00.001+05:30

The views expressed in this article might be controversial to some. It is not my idea or intention to hurt anyone’s sentiments. I offer no quick-fix solutions. I’m only stating things the way I see them.

I was 7 years old on Dec 6th ’92. I remember school shutting down and we being rushed back home. I didn’t understand what really had happened. I was studying in a Hindu school and the general impression I got at the time was that something good had happened, that something was being set right after a long long time. There was some fear around. But generally there was some kind of pride building up inside all of us.

Since that day I became acutely aware of my Hindu identity. I started looking for religion in people’s names, dresses, habits. I was aware that I was buying my cricket ball from a Muslim shop and that the boy who I played cricket with was a Christian.

As years went by, I got even more radical. It didn’t help that we had moved to the Gulf where prejudice is a way of life. It had reached a state where I didn’t want to be friends with Christians or Muslims. I just didn’t trust them.

But as you grow up things get a little bit more complicated. You realize many things. It’s not only the Hindu guy who treats you well- it can be the ‘other guy’ too. It’s not only the ‘other guy’ who is insensitive and insensible- it can be the Hindu guy too. There are good people and bad people in every faith, caste or creed.

I realized that ‘they’ are not very different from ‘us’. They have the same questions about God and religion that come to our minds. They find it difficult to comprehend the complex web of spirituality and religion with the conflicting views on sexuality, morality, life, death, etc. just like we do.

Leaders manipulate people using religion, caste, nativity etc. The demagogues make you angry, they make you hate, and they control your emotions. When your blood is boiling it is very difficult to make rational decisions. Politicians thrive in this situation. They don’t want you to use your brains. They’re not good enough for it and they know it. The only way they’ll win is to use sentiment.

Looking back at that fateful day I feel ashamed of what happened. I feel cheated and abused. I feel stupid and small. Maybe I was just a child… but it still is very difficult to get over the false-pride I felt at that time.

It might be true that the particular spot is the birthplace of Lord Ram. But can any temple bring back the lives lost? Can any temple/masjid reverse the decades of suspicion and hatred? Ram and Allah stand for love and peace. Not hatred and war. And let’s be clear- the masjid/temple is not for God, it’s more a political statement.

I’m not an authority on history so I can’t say with certainty if there was a temple before the masjid was demolished. From what little I have read, it was not uncommon for Muslim conquerors to destroy places of worship and build masjids in its place. What we should learn from that- as Hindus, Muslims and primarily as Indians is when we belittle another faith, then the damage that is done lasts for centuries. The cycle of violence, hatred, prejudice is never-ending. We don’t need that. The after-effects of the short-sighted decisions of the erstwhile Muslim rulers of India are still being felt today.

Today- You and I are the rulers of a New India. We have history to learn from. In principle, it is we who make the decisions for the future of this country. So do you want to move ahead or do you want to repeat history again? Temple/ Masjid- is it going to bring peace to our land? Can we try to forgive and forget- at least so that we are not manipulated by the scheming politicians? Please ask yourselves these questions.

mY iNteRviEw!!!

2009-12-18T16:52:00.002+05:30

Hey People,

This blog and it's brilliant charming author have been featured here. Do have a look. : )

Thanks for reading my blog. Have a super day.

AJai

My First Ever Improv.

2009-12-13T16:55:00.003+05:30

Hi guys & gals. I know it's been a while. Been kinda hectic with the running around for the training and then i've joined this theatre work shop. We're coming up with a pantomime in Feb. Guys and gals in Chennai do come and watch. I'll keep you guys updated with the dates and all that.

I've acted in plays in school. But we were always told what to do and it was fairly easy enacting those roles. But Pantomimes are slightly different. Guys are given roles and they are required to improvise(improv in short).

I chose to try out the villain character... I did a lot of impromptu improv so I'll be recollecting my lines from memory. They might not be exact. But it should be a good read. Here we go.

"I come from a long long time ago... from a place far far far away. I am Dr EVIL!!!....and this is my story.

You see I was supposed to be the hero in all those fairy tales... but for my cursed bad luck.. damn bad luck.

Take the case of Snow White... I was supposed to enter the cottage and kiss her to release her from her curse. I reached the cottage and went inside. I found her lying down. I closed my eyes and bent down and gave her the most tremendous lip-smacking kiss I could have conjured. I opened my eyes and realized I was kissing 'Grandma'. You see I was in the wrong fairy tale... I was in 'Little Red Riding Hood'.

Now take Rapunzel... not many of you guys know that Rapunzel is actually Telugu and I would call her 'Rapu!'. So I went below the tower and I said - 'Rapu Rapu throw down your lovely hair so I may climb and be with you'. Her beautiful long hair came tumbling down and I climbed it and I found myself face to face with the wicked old man. While I was busy fighting the old man, that 'Prince Charming' fellow- without any respect for tradition, enters the tower, uses the lift, picks up Rapunzel and rides away in to the sunset. And they live happily ever after.

Finally we come to Cinderella... and this time I was prepared. I was running 6kms a day and I knew I was going to beat that damn Prince. So we were in the ball dancing away. Suddenly the clock strikes 12 and Cinderella comes running out and I chase her. That slow poch Prince coudn't catch up with us. But what happens? He stops at the stairs and ends up with the glass slipper. And I run after the carriage and end up with a pumpkin. Now I put my hand inside the pumpkin...it's nice... it's soft... but it's not Cinderella.

So now using my secret weapon I have destroyed the Prince and enslaved the 3 beauties.

Snow--- you are too SLOW. Sweep faster!
Cinderella... Cindy... Go wash my Chaddi!
Rapu...Where are you?...ah there you are... come... massage my kallu!

And this time... I'm going to live Happily Ever After."

Human Nature

2009-11-22T22:19:00.005+05:30

I was flabbergasted. All my attempts to raise money to build the school had come to zilch. We required close to 2 lacs to build the school. All we'd managed to raise so far was a measly Rs 32,748/-.

Raj came to my office one day. We were best buddies in school. But life took us along different paths. I took to social service. Started working in NGO's and finally I set up one on my own. Raj went in to business. He was doing well. He'd already made a sizable donation to my fund and I felt guilty asking him for any more money.

I opened out to him and told him of my problems. I went on and on ranting. I told him I couldn't believe people were not willing to donate for a noble cause like this one.

"What is society coming to?"- I asked him.

He smiled and said- "Let me take care of fund raising for you".

It took me a while to realize he was serious. It wasn't like him to offer such services.

"How do you plan on doing it?"- I asked him.

"Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies"- he replied. " Give me ten grand from whatever you've collected and 3 months time. You'll have your money".

I pondered on this a bit but finally gave in. I trusted Raj. I was very curious though as to how he was going to raise this money when all my volunteers' efforts of the past 6 months couldn't bring in any money.

One and a half months later Raj was in my office with a cheque for Rs 2,17,571/-. I was astounded.

"And there is still more coming"- he grinned.

"How did you pull it off?"

"Come I'll show you."

We took the car to a village just outside the city. Situated a little away from the main village square was a thatched hut. Inside there was a Swami sitting inside with a few disciples.

"This is it"- a gleaming Raj said.

"The Swami gave the money to you?"

"No, I set up the whole thing. I pay the Swami and his disciples to sit here. "

Furious hearing this I began to remonstrate before Raj calmed me down and explained how the idea came to him.

"I was at a temple and was looking at these beggars sitting just outside. The temple undal was just a few feet away from the beggars. I noticed people putting 50 bucks, 100 bucks, even 500 in to the undal. However, they'd drop just 1 or 2 bucks for the beggars. That's when the idea came to me. I called the beggars. Explained things to them and told them I'd set things up and they just had to act their parts."

"So I came here and found this obscure place for them. Then I went and told my wife that I wanted to meet this Swami and donate some money as his blessings had helped me. We came here and I put a big sum of money in the undal in front of her. Leave it women to spread the news like wildfire... All her friends and their friends started streaming in to this place believing my story to be true. One month down the line and we have your money."- Raj said smiling.

"You are a true businessman"- I told Raj appreciatively.

"It's really simple"- he said. "You were trying to appeal to people's charity. That never works. I was simply appealing to their greed!"

The Art of Nothingness...

2009-11-11T23:56:00.010+05:30

The idea for this post comes to me while I'm sitting in Nungambakkam station. I'm not here to catch a train. No, I'm here to kill time!

I know most readers will find it strange. But, I count this as one of my many 'original time-pass ideas'. I've taken a train pass for 3 months. Whenever I'm bored or mind fucked I come to the station and take a train up and down the line or chumma sit on the platform. What am I doing??? Ans- NOTHING!

Yes, after an agonizing 24 years on this planet, pondering over my fate & wondering what my 'hidden' talent is, I've finally found something I'm good for. Ladies & Gentlemen- I'm GOOD FOR NOTHING!

The many years I spent in education... and I learnt NOTHING. The countless books, magazines and newspapers I've read and still NOTHING makes sense. Infinite hours of watching TV and movies and I still don't understand anything. All those long never-ending discussions with friends and family... and what's come of it??? NOTHING!

I've accomplished nothing in my life. I've never been brilliant in my studies. Never been brilliant at any sport. I have no awards. Never been been part of any of those societies or clubs. Never been on a holiday. Never left home. I've done NOTHING till date.

There are many works requiring my urgent attention... but I undertake nothing. This is not just some special day I'm talking about. This is about my everyday routine.

Folks- I'm an expert in the 'art of nothingness'. It's in my blood. It's become a part of me. Defines me... it is a part of my character. I can out do anyone in it. I can sit for hours, days, years doing NOTHING.

This has to be something special. I'm yet to come across anyone to feel threatened in this special talent of mine. In fact I dare you to think of one person in your life who has done NOTHING. I'm sure you won't come up with one. The honours are all mine... all mine.

Everyone's been telling me that I've been wasting my time. But they are wrong. This is what I'm supposed to be people. This is what I'm supposed to do. This is what I was born to do!

Having just discovered my purpose in life Ladies & Gentlemen I would like to conclude by saying that now I'm only 'good for nothing'. But, it will be my life-long endeavor to be the "best for nothing."

Thank You.

India vs Australia

2009-11-06T21:59:00.006+05:30

Last night I re-discovered the Sachin that made me believe anything is possible. He was supreme last night. But, alas, like many times in his career... he couldn't finish it off for his team.

Sachin is one of the greatest cricketers of all time. Yet, he doesn't have any big trophy to his name. Like the World Cup, or a test series win in Australia or SA. All great players have one or more trophies to their name. Tendulkar hasn't been able to use his game changing qualities to bring any big cup home. Maybe that's what spurs him on, after 21 long years in international cricket.

Coming back to his innings last night- I feel honoured that I watched it. I will take the memories with me to my grave. It was marvellous. His team-mates must be feeling real ashamed that they couldn't complete the job after Sachin had done so much. They owed it to him to finish it off. That wasn't to be.

Australia are clearly one step ahead of India in every dept. No where is this more visible than in Aus's fielding. For an eg I will recollect the last wicket that fell. There was clearly a lot of tension and Praveen Kumar was trying to run 2. But Haurtiz's rocket throw was perfect, right near the wickets and that made it end game. The ability to keep calm under pressure, to execute perfectly, to be ruthless... all these qualities are highlighted in this one little instance. All these qualities are the hall-mark of the Aussies and you'll find them repeated many times in every game. That's what makes them a champion side.

For too long now we've been depending on raw talent. We should be proud of a system that's able to generate a Sehwag, a Dhoni, or a Bhaji. But not all 11 players can be like that. We need to chip away at the edges of the ordinary cricketers and make them polished so that they shine on the international stage. Ravindra Jadeja was clearly too excited...and that cost him his wicket. Nehra played an irresponsible shot. And why wasn't Praveen Kumar diving in full body for that last run? That could have easily made the difference. These small things make a big difference in the end.

We lack finishers. We lack that finishing quality within us. Even Sachin is not a finisher. Dhoni is & Raina also to a certain degree. We need more of that calibre. It is a real tough job. But the guys should be trained for it. Even in bowling I've noticed that we lack that killer punch. How many times have we let the last wicket just drag the match on? We should be ruthless and finish it off at the earliest.

2 times now in the same series that India has lost matches chasing that it should have won comfortably. Not good at all. Means we haven't learnt our lessons from the first time. This is where Indian cricket needs to improve. This chalta hai attitude will not be accepted. We will need to be machine like in our pursuit of being the number one team. The Aussies are not going to surrender that spot easily.

Australia are still a depleted side. With 2 games to go, I'm still not willing to make any bets. Let's hope India gets it finishing act together for the next games.

Paneri's fav RIMC Story

2009-10-29T23:49:00.014+05:30

Paneri is a wonderful story teller. His art is not in writing stories... but in narrating them. Here I will try and note down one of his oft repeated stories. His fav one obviously.

First a lil bit of background. Paneri was my class mate in UG. We hit it off almost immediately and through 3 years we were thick as thieves. I was more frequent in his room than in class. But his room still didn't beat Anna Kadai. Every good college boy has an "Anna Kadai" in his life... where he 'smokes', has 'rasna' and 'verai kadalai' and most importantly... where he can keep 'account'.

Now 'Anna Kadai' is a special place and maybe that deserves a blog post on it's own. So I won't get in to that now. But basically we used to sit there for hours and hours and hours and hours(k... u get the picture don't u???) and chat about anything in the bloody world. And that's also usually where Paneri would come up with his gems.

Now Paneri studied in the Rastriya Indian Military College-RIMC, in Dehra Dun, which is supposed to be India's best military school. You study in the school from class 8th on till your 12th. And, as in all army schools, discipline was a real pain in the ass( not just literally... they would get thrashings with hockey sticks for breaking rules!). But boys being boys being boys had to naturally get around them.

Now cutting bounds was forbidden- but naturally all the guys knew a way. But it was a very risky proposition. Caught out of school bounds and you could be demoted or even thrown out of school. So you'd do it only on very very rare occasions... only for something special.

Now it happened that 3 of Paneri's classmates had gone out one weekend. They came back.. all fabulously excited and called everyone around to tell them what they'd experienced.

"Boys... we just watched a XXX movie in the theater!"

"OMG!"... everyone was excited. "How? Where? What?"

Turns out that a movie- "Machalti Jawani" was playing. And it had everything. Everything, everything, everything required to satisfy an adolescent. :).

Now everyone was keen to catch this movie... and the boys couldn't wait till the weekend. Now it was a risk cutting bounds on weekends... but to do so on a weekday was almost tantamount to suicide coz of the strict vigil.

But never mind... anything for "sex" said the boys and off they went... cut bounds and to the theaters to watch- "Machalti Jawani".

The movie started... and the boys were all 'eager', 'excited' and 'desperate' for some "action". It started... and they were waiting for something to happen... and there was nothing. Interval... and the boys were looking at each other and wondering what the hell happened. They decided to stick around till the end of the movie.

The movie went on and still there was nothing. And finally it ended. The movie was a bloody lousy drab.

Dejected the boys returned to the dorms. The other 3 rascals were on the bed and dancing to... "Machalti Jawani... Machalti Jawani... Machalti Jawani!".

I remember laughing my head out at this point of the story. And Paneri in his trademark way was just nodding his head and smiling at the rest of us. We were laughing at it for so long... it was crazy.

And finally Paneri was like..." you know dude... there was a scene in the movie where the villain was going to rape the heroine... and I thought... ah.. finally something! But guess what? The bloody HERO comes and rescues her!!!!"

Paneri... you are one of a kind!

Getting over our Pakistan Fixation

2009-10-19T19:24:00.007+05:30

Rahul Gandhi has said many things that I have disagreed with. But for once I totally agree with him when he says that it's time for India and Indians to 'get-over' Pakistan.

We've been giving too much time and effort in dealing with Pakistan. Sure our history, the wars we've fought, and even the current threats posed by Pakistan require our attention. But we have to admit that our fixation with Pakistan is more than just that. We are obsessed by Pakistan.

Every Indian will have an opinion on Pakistan, and usually it is a negative one. Our history books go on and on about how the two nation theory was actually a 'complete falsification of the idea of India'. Most of our obsession is due to the trauma of partition on our national psyche. Our National leaders took partition as a slap on the face and till date our policy makers don't seem to have recovered from it.

Our obsession also has much to do with the romanticism of our Independence movement. No doubt our freedom struggle was a glorious one. And the ideals that held our leaders and our people together are timeless and true for all of humanity. In this context - Pakistan, or the creation of it, went against everything that our National movement stood for.

Somewhere along the line I think we Indians feel that India and Pakistan should get back together, that the aberration of Partition must be done away with. Like in the movies- where the errant brother finally realizes the follies of his ways and returns home to his elder brother seeking forgiveness. This romanticism is evident not only in general every day talk but also in our policy.

From this romanticism and idealism springs the fear in Pakistanis that India means harm to them. That India wants to do away with Pakistan, that India poses a constant threat to Pakistan. The military and political establishment have milked this paranoia for all it's worth and have kept Pakistanis in the grip of fear. No wonder the people there don't question the military's involvement in running of Govt. They feel that it's a necessity born out of the threat posed by India.

What this means is that our romanticism and idealism and Pakistan's fear is entangling us in a vicious circle. Do we need that? Isn't there another alternative?

Yes, there is. But it requires us to me objective, practical and smart. And let me tell you we are hopeless in all three.

We need to accept the idea of Pakistan and partition. No doubt it was a painful exercise and that it definitely could have been handled better. But let history be where it belongs. Let's not be victims of history- but let's learn from it.

It's been 62 years since Independence. That means there are at least two generations of Indians and Pakistanis that have never been part of the same country. We are two completely different nations now. Different ideals, different systems of Govt, different policies. India should learn to treat Pakistan like it treats any other nation.

There are the usual examples we cite when we compare India vis Pakistan. We are a functioning democracy, our economy is now the fourth largest in the world etc etc. But let's not get jingoistic about it. That's again a trap.

Let us not be victims of our past. Let's get over this impasse and look towards a brighter future. Sure it requires us to look at history in a different perspective and that is going to be a very very difficult task. But it can be done. And it must be done. We need to.

Blogger- Trying to get Traffic to my blog!

2009-10-09T11:32:00.003+05:30

There is nothing I like reading more than comments to my posts. It gives me the 'euphoric high'. I feel like a million- billion bucks when someone new comes to my blog and makes a comment.

Initially, when I'd just started blogging, I'd have just a few guys & gals who commented on my posts. Usually the same people in all posts. It was nice. But I wanted more.

So I focused on improving traffic to my post. And I've learnt a few things along the way-- which I thought I'd share with you.

I looked to other blogs with decent "readers' count". I tried to make sense of what I was going through. And I have to admit- it wasn't easy!

Most blogs had guys and girls ranting about 'random arbid bull shit'. That seemed a sure shot way of attracting the crowd. But I couldn't do that even if I wanted to. :P

So it wasn't content that was driving readers' to these blogs. What was it?

I figured that you had to go out and be visible. You had to go and make comments on other blogs. So I did. This wasn't easy either. You see it is one thing to read 'random arbid bull shit'. But to try and actually find something to comment on was(&is) extremely difficult.

So you try and improvise. Usually the first 3 lines of a post will tell you were it's ending.
Most bloggers need psychiatric therapy (and have very big egos- Don't tell them that k!). So you need to sound nice and empathetic in your comments. There are of course trademark comments like- "Nice one", "Loved it", "Brilliant!" etc. (if I've used them in comments to your posts I really meant it-- this is only for the 'others').

Guys and Gals with 'sexy' profile pics again manage to attract traffic to their blogs. I'm still trying to find a photographer who can shoot a 'sexy' profile pic for me. Everyone I go to says... "Saar very difficult Saaar.. your face very difficult Saar!".

And one more thing... if you are a guy- focus on 'girl-blogs' and vise-versa for the women. Why? Guess there's a bit of Freud in it. We arouse curiosity in members of the opposite sex. They'll usually come back to your blog. You go to theirs again and they come to yours again--- and a relationship(blogging!) is established. With members of your own sex it doesn't seem to work that way. I guess we all figure that if this guy actually likes the 'random arbid bull shit' that I'm writing then he'll come back again. Why waste time and effort reading his 'random arbid bull shit'.

Well... be grateful that I've actually shared this knowledge and insight with you. So you won't have to go through all that 'random arbid bull shit' that I had to go through.

K... enough of this 'random arbid bull shit'. Back to work... off now. Ciao!

Heads or Tails

2009-10-01T17:05:00.002+05:30

This is my shot at 55-word fiction. I've read a few interesting stories around. Thought I'd give it a shot. Hope you like it.

Heads or Tails

There was a lot of money... and a lot more if it didn't have to be split in half. I had the gun. Ram was busy packing up. I was confused. My conscience was pricking me. Finally I decided to toss a coin. Heads- he lives, Tails- he dies. I tossed it... it came down... Tails!

The Quiz I Lost!

2009-09-25T19:16:00.006+05:30

Well I was a brainy kid. Used to looove my books(still do!). Used to enjoy talking politics and stuff with adults(still do!). Well let's just say I was above average. And my classmates knew this. So I was called "nerd", "geek" and other things.(Let's not go in to what else I was called k... please!) Was one of the toppers in my class(not any more! :P). And generally was one wise guy and so it was a natural consequence that I would be part of the quiz teams around.

Well I was good, but not the best. There was this other chap that was around and he was brilliant. Not scholastically. But in 'GK' he was unassailable. We were in the same class... so we couldn't be partners. You had to have a guy who was one year junior to you who became your partner. I still remember when Derek 'o' Brian came to Kuwait and I was representing my school. The other chap was there too with his team-mate. And though I'd scored more than the qualifying mark we couldn't come on stage because the rule was only one team per school and the other guys had scored more than us. Anyways.. let that be.

No- this is not about that. This is in fact about a quiz that happened in the next year. We were in 9th... and the brilliant chap and his team-mate were gone from school. It was an inter-school quiz... and quite naturally we were favourites running in to it. Now, there were 4 teams, but right from the beginning it was a 2 way fight... between us and the team immediately adjacent to us which had a girl in my class and a junior guy.

Now if I was nerd, then this girl was super-nerd. No doubt about it. She'd read her books in the break. Basically any discussion you had to have with her had to be about your studies and nothing else. And she was also called "nerd" and "geek".(Not the other things though.. those were mine exclusively!)

So the quiz started and as usual we were slow starters. Took some time for the brain juices to get mixed and come up with the right concotion. But once in gear... we were just zooming along. It was the penultimate round...the speed round. Till then we were trailing the other team. I smashed it and we took the lead.

So now it was the final round. We had a lead of about five points... and we were "in the zone". It was an option round... you had to choose one from four answers. We were the last team to be questioned... the other 2 teams got their answers, but they were anyway irrelevant. Then came the girl's team...and bang... they answered in their first shot and got maximum marks.

So now they were in the lead...we needed to answer our question within the first two shots or else we'd loose. So the question came... and it was some famous quote that no one had ever heard... and we were asked who'd been quoted. So I gave my first attempt.... and I was wrong! I gave my second attempt... and I was wrong again...finally it was one of two... I gave my third attempt and that was wrong too!!!! So we lost the quiz!

Well.... you have to take these things in the sportsman spirit. (I went back home and wouldn't talk to anyone... I've never spoken to my quiz team-mate since... and I still think it was some kind of conspiracy that they came up with that question at that time. So yes, I took it like a true sportsman.)

Well... I'd have left things there... but for this incident that happened not too long after that quiz. I was sitting in class and we guys were discussing something. Adjacent to me was the same qirl who was my quiz nemesis. You see she might have been a nerd, but she was also very hot... and I got that place after much quarrel and persuasion. :) So we were sitting around and I was tripping on a friend that he didn't know the capital of China. He told me that most people wouldn't know... and just to irk him I called out the quiz girl and asked her the capital of China. She looked apprehensive, very nervous... and after pondering over it for some time she said.... "Hong Kong!".

I fell over from my chair laughing... this was cruel... and it was funny... I'd just lost a quiz to this chick... LOL. Apparently my antics didn't go down very well with her and I was termed a 'snob'. A year later we became friends. Few months after that we started going out. It' been 9 years since!

Moral of the story: It's k to lose a quiz to a hot-looking chick. :)

And sweetheart... so that it is in writing.... the capital of China is "Beijing!".

A World of Dependents

2009-09-23T10:28:00.004+05:30

I've been alone at home the past 2 weeks. It's the longest I've had the house all to myself. Well there is Kasper....:). But he's welcome... let's me do my work and he does his(which is sleeping of course).

Amma usually stays with me. She's gone to be with Dad for a few days. I don't talk much with Amma. But I realize now that though we may not talk much I miss just the presence of her.

It's nice to be on your own. But the truth is days are long, and nights even longer. I long to go out... meet some friends... etc. There are books... but sometimes... the presence of another person cannot be compensated by that.

You know... this got me thinking about how dependent we all are on each other.

Imagine if one day the world around you collapsed and you were the only survivor.... how would you live? Can you find food for yourself? Can you make a fire without matches or a lighter? Can you climb a tree? Can you fish? Do you know which plants are poisonous and which are not?

Do any of the degrees we've earned matter when we are faced with a raw situation like that? The futility of education....

I hate being dependent... and it kills me that after all these years I'm still not on my own... but we are never really independent are we? We are never really free...

We are trapped in society... we must live by it's laws... must submit to it's demands... because otherwise we(as a whole) become worthless, powerless.

Now I understand those people who cling on to old ideas, customs and traditions... even though logically it doesn't stand. It's part of the process by which all of us submit to society... to each other... that's what's enabled us to survive...

But must this come at the cost of reason? Must our customs and traditions inhibit us? Growth of societies invariably depend on the growth of an individual who changes things forever with his vision and action. Instead of making things so tough for these individuals shouldn't society be enabling these people?

We need each other to live.... we need each of us to do our best so that we all may grow... these are basic things that every person should be able to deduce.... then why all the madness, superstition and non-sense around us? Why?

Confessions of a Cricket fan!

2009-09-13T08:30:00.005+05:30

Namaskar. Is karyakram mein aapka swaagat hai!

Late last night I'd met up with a few friends in Coffee Day. As usual I was the early bird and I had to wait a good 45 min before I got some company.

Anyways... I was there. I prefer sitting outside to indoors. So I found myself a chair and sat down.
Well I was the only non- looove matter person there outside. Every other place was occupied by a couple. In fact it had to be that way. I'll tell you why- because of the god-damn mosquitoes!
I couldn't sit outside for 10 min and had to go running inside. You had to be in love to not realize the god-damn mosquitoes! God bless them couples...

So I went inside and here the crowd was a more even spread. You had groups of guys and girls sitting around. I was the only loner. I didn't mind. There was a hot-chick sitting with her-gal friends and I found myself a nice place where I could get a nice 'view'. :)

I found that I had to look at the TV too. So I did. Ah...What is this? A cricket match! That too India playing... against Sri Lanka... how come I didn't know! How come none of my friends told me about it! What the hell?

So as a true gentleman I pretended to focus on the match on TV while my attentions were actually else where.

As I was watching Dravid got bowled. Nice... Then Yuvraj was trying his best to edge behind to the keeper. He finally got lucky and did just that. Then Raina came in and showed Yuvraj exactly how easy it is and that he shouldn't have wasted 6 balls trying it. Raina did it in his first one!

K... screw the match... where is the babe? Yes... she was there... and yes she caught me looking at her... girls always know... and she gave me one of those 'i know you are looking' stares, and she got with her friends and giggled... i knew she didn't mind being 'looked at' by me.
Just as I was about to muster up the courage and actually go and talk to her my friend calls and he's like 5 minutes he'll be there. Ah.... what the hell... I decided not to proceed. I stayed put in my chair. (5 minutes turned out to be 30... but he has a girl friend... and like the old saying goes...''love takes time".)

The cricket was excruciatingly boring. Every time the ball went to the outfield I'd find myself counting in my head till the next ball was bowled. And it was consistently in the 3-figure mark. GOSH! I'm here sitting jobless trying to watch my fav game and I couldn't. Yes... there was the distraction... but I think there is a deeper reason to it. ODI's have lost their thrill. 20-20's have taken their place and I think it's just a matter of time before ODI's get 'phased' out. Luckily for me there was the 'distraction'. :)

So I was waiting for my friends... pretending to watch the match... and generally enjoying myself... when suddenly I felt like I was being stared at. I looked around and suddenly found a head moving sheepishly away. No it wasn't the chick. It was a guy! Apparently he walked in after I had... and he was sitting alone too.

Right... I thought it was a one-off. But no... this guy kept staring at me... I was like what the bloody hell. I felt like a chick. I moved my position a little. Still staring at me... I pretended to look at the TV and watch him through the corner of my eye, and yes, he was still staring at me. Now I was getting paranoid. I took a quick glance in the mirror to see if there was anything on my face... I couldn't find anything except my face! I looked around to see if my fly was open. It wasn't. Everything was fine... and I still felt naked.

By this time I'd lost focus on the chick. I realized that this is probably the way chicks feel when I stare at them. I felt guilty. I prayed to God and begged him to take this guy away from there. I made promises that I'd never stare at a chick again... though all along I could hear a voice in my head saying "who you kidding?".

All right I told myself... focus on the match... God damn.. it was so bloody lousy anything else had to be better... yes there was the chick.... but no... there was my 'admirer'.

I couldn't take it beyond a certain point... So I finally got up... walked to the guy... and asked him what his problem was... he looked helpless... and at that moment I realized he was squint... and i felt terrible inside. One glance at the girls and I saw them giggling... I felt like a bloody fool.

I thought of walking out just then... but my friends came in at that very instant... talk about timing...

None of them reads this blog and I never gave them the full story of the awkward moment there. It was way too embarrassing. I hope you won't tell them....

Now if only the cricket had been good... none of this would have happened!

Connecting with your Blog Dosts

2009-09-05T23:04:00.005+05:30

Hola!

How to you to be doing is? All well?

Been some time. Well it was nothing but the old writer's block. And if not for Issam's call today I don't think I'd have actually written this post.

Issam is the only follower of my blog whom I'm personally in touch with. And the blog often features in our conversations. It's something that connects us. A passion that we both share. And that's only enhanced our friendship.( People out there- pls don't start getting ideas... I'm straight... I can't vouch for Issam... but I am STRAIGHT! )

You know sometimes it plays in my head that we should be able to contact each other. Connect in more ways than just our blogs/comments. We could share ideas. We could actually become friends... coz hey.... we all love blogging don't we?

But then there is the apprehension. I mean... blogging is actually putting your thoughts out there in to the big bad world. And well... quite frankly... we don't know what kind of people are out there. Maybe it's better that we keep our identities to ourselves in the virtual world. You know like Frost's poem about the wall... and 'good fences make good neighbours'( in this case bloggers!).
Being anonymous allows one to be more frank about things. And any clash in thoughts can be handled right here.

But it would still be nice to know all of you out there. I didn't like tagging... but you get to know a bit about the people around when you go through their tags. That's nice. And maybe we should do more of that stuff.

I don't know... maybe we could be good friends... maybe we'll never hit it off. But do you think it's worth a try?

Who is God?

2009-08-26T10:03:00.012+05:30

ps: This post is purely fiction

I'd been volunteering in a home for the mentally challenged. Every Saturday I'd go to the home and spend some time with the adults and children there. I'd try and teach some of the kids or I'd spend some time talking with the adults. We would sit together and make beads, weave carpets, learn to count change, try and pronounce our names etc.

The kids were easier to handle and more eager to learn. The adults were of course slightly different. They'd take offense if you tried to teach them something. So you had to do it with tact. You couldn't tell them that 'they had to go to the toilet'. You had to suggest that 'we all make a visit to the loo'.

To see the effort that the people in the home took to do ordinary routine things made me realize how truly blessed I was. I had a 'working mind'. One that could perform the 3R's, one that had learned to identify things, one that enabled me to live, to think clearly(or so I thought!).

And so I went to the home to reinforce my feeling of superiority. To enhance my ego. I truly believed that I was one of God's chosen few. This was all of course till I had my conversation with Ramu.

Ramu is a patient in the home, the same age as me. He'd just moved out from the kids in to the adults. Ramu is among the boisterous, ever-curious, energy personified types. You rarely have a dull moment with him around. Here are a few samples of his misdemeanors.

Ramu was one of the few people who knew how to operate the school bell. Unfortunately this wasn't a good thing because he'd ring it whenever he pleased, and that meant all the children who'd been trained to get up and leave class if the bell rang, would all get up and leave their classes creating a major ruckus in school.

Ramu loved the biscuits you'd get in the tea-shop opposite the road. The prob was he never had any money. So he'd order one of the younger fellows to keep the watchman occupied, then go in to the watchman's cabin and snatch whatever money he could find. He couldn't count the money. So he'd simply buy biscuits for all the money in his hand.

Some girls had come to volunteer and he reportedly told one of them- "that your pants are so tight I can make the outline of your bum!"

He'd been caught by a nurse for peeking in to the ladies' bathroom. His retort was- "If you can see me piss, why can't I see you piss?".

So Ramu wasn't easy to handle and one day the person-in-charge asked me to take care of Ramu as he was being very difficult. I decided that the best way to keep him in leash was to keep him occupied. I looked around the room and pointed to a picture of God.

I sat next to Ramu, folded his hands together and made him close his eyes. I told him to pray to God. For a few moments his eye-lids were closed. And then they opened and there was an extraordinary radiance in his eyes.

"Ajai Anna I've just found out that I am God.".

I laughed and asked him how he'd come to that conclusion.

He said -" I find that whenever I pray to God I'm actually talking to myself!"

"Kaminey"- The Movie Review

2009-08-18T23:15:00.009+05:30

I'm not really a movie buff. I'm not much in to watching movies in theaters at all. But every once in a while an exception must be made when family or friends force me.

So last Friday, I was coerced in to watching a movie by mom and sis. Now I knew "Kaminey" was an 'A' rated movie. And I didn't want to be embarrassed watching the movie with family. But they'd already bought the tickets. And no one.. absolutely no one was free at that particular time to fill in for me. So I decided to tug along and watch the movie. It was a Vishal Bharadwaj film after all.

And let me tell you this.. 'Kaminey' is a once in a life-time movie. And I'm glad that I was forced in to that movie hall! Absolutely brilliant! Bharadwaj brings the Guy Ritchie/ Quentin Tarantino style of movie making- tuned to India(or more precisely Mumbai). Though the story is not really new... the treatment is as original as it can get. The writing for this movie is first class.

The story line from the outset is quite predictable... but Bharadwaj keeps you glued to your seats with the pace, twists and turns. The characters don't mouth long tardy dialogues... it's very galli lingo. The entire look and feel of the movie is very earthy and you know that if there were characters like these in real-life, then that's exactly how they'd behave. The humour is dark and intelligent.... the movie goer who enjoys the brainless comedies Hindi movies are famous for will not enjoy this. 'Kaminey' requires, or rather demands, your attention for the complete 2 hours+.

The script is just so well written and so tight, it's unbelievable for an Indian movie! There have been a few good movies that have come out in recent years. But this movie is not parallel cinema. It is basic Hindi movie 'formulaic' fare complete with looove ishtory, judwaa bhais, draamaa, emosion and real 'kaminey' villains...all building up to a climax... but the film still holds despite it's predictability... and that's the beauty of it.

Each one of the ensemble cast- from the corrupt policemen(lolo and lebe), to the politician-don(bhopu!), to the full-time don(tashi- tashi the greeat!), are just wonderfully sketched out and each actor does full justice to his role. The performances of each of the actors are just out-standing and that's what really brings the movie alive. Shahid Kapur(as Guddu and Charlie) is fantastic. The character of Charlie and his trademark lisping of 'f' for 's' is just tremendous. The character impacted us all so much that we were all lisping for 2 days straight. :). Priyanka Chopra(Sweety) is brilliant. She plays and aggro-Marathi babe with such flair (The scene in which she shoots her machine gun in the climax is one of my favourites in the movie). My personal favourites were the guys who played Mikhail and Tashi- killer dudes.. with killer attitudes to boot! : )

And special mention must be made of 'Dhan-te-nan'. The energy in the movie builds up to a crescendo and the song fulfills the requirement as an outlet for all that pent up energy. It moves you and pulls you in to the movie.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I 'fuggeft' that you 'fhould' watch it. I'll be happy to read your commentf on it. ;)

India's 62nd Independence Day

2009-08-15T21:54:00.007+05:30

Happy Independence day people!

Well it's time for the patriotic bandha in me to come out. It is after all Independence day. What better day to write a post about your country ah?

I have to be honest here. I feel a bit old. I remember India's 50th independence day celebrations. I remember at exactly 12 noon all the TV channels played Rahman's 'Vande Mataram'. And today I realize it's been 12 years since! That's almost half my life!

Many critics, most famously Winston Churchill,( and more recently some chinese joker named Zhong Guo Zhan Lue Gang) have predicted the end of our nation. We have defied the critics and we continue to march on.

India is not a nation in the conventional sense of the term. We are not one race, or people who speak one language, or follow one religion. We are not exactly a physical entity by ourselves(though this is arguable).

India is an idea. Or, to put it better... India is an ideal. India is not an easy country to understand. It forces man to put aside all his ideas of separation and classification and look at things differently. It forces you to answer difficult questions. It requires you to be tolerant, to be understanding, to be different, to seek the truth, to be lawful, to understand differences, and above all- to challenge convention.

Our founding fathers dreamt up an India that would be an ideal to all humanity. The idea lives on and contiues to inspire us. India to me is a passion. It is pure, it is magic, it is old, it is new, it is vibrant and most of all it is happening!

There are miles and miles to go. There is much to be done. But let's not forget that greatness is our destiny. Let's get together and make our 'tryst with destiny'.

Jai Hind.

Narayana Murthy's- "A Better India: A Better World"

2009-08-13T23:18:00.003+05:30

I just finished reading this book. I'm glad I bought it. It's a collector's edition. One that any true connoisseur of books should have in his library.

Mr Narayana Murthy is one of the leading intellectuals in India today. He was the founder Chairman of Infosys and is the face of India's BPO revolution. Though he has retired from the Chairman's post, he continues to be on the board of Infosys and many other companies.
This book is a collection of Mr Murthy's speeches and articles. He mainly talks about the many issues that India and the World are facing and suggests some ideas which may help in fixing them.
Murthy talks about Climate Change, law, Globalization, Socialism vs Capitalism, IT and so on. It is an intellectual treat and I strongly suggest it if you are of that bent of mind.

What is LIFE supposed to be?

2009-08-09T22:31:00.005+05:30

We are all born, enter childhood, then in to the teens, then we become adults and then there is old age. And finally there is Death. So many people around us.... and yet... when it comes to LIFE, there really is only one routine in it for all of us.

I know there are a gazillion philosophies out there saying LIFE is supposed to be this and that and many things. But to be frank- I just don't get it. Not at all, not one bit.

Some people say chase your bliss. Some people say sacrifice is the essence of life. Some people say it's for the future. Some people say it's your past catching up with you. All of these are conflicting and yet you feel there is some amount of cosmic truth to each of these philosophies. Having said that I still find it difficult to accept any one philosophy and really tell myself -this is the one!

Why can't things be much simpler? Or you know, why can't some higher purpose suddenly come to me and take me and grip me and give meaning and solace to my life. This takes me back to the scene in the movies where the hero is holding on to his dying father who tells him to take revenge or to grow up and be the best soldier or actor or whatever it is. And you know... that guy actually actually has something to live for.

I have a general philosophy. But somehow... it works for everyone else but me! Most of my friends come to me for advice or to seek counsel. And I base my answers on a certain understanding, and most of the times, I am being modest here, it tends to work for them. But for me... I'm still clueless as to how to apply it? What to apply it for?

I'm 24 bloody years old. I still can't figure out what I want to do with my life. One moment it's this and the other moment it's something completely different. There is frustration, anxiety and a certain panic that, you know, how long am I going to be floating around like this?

I find it extremely difficult to put anything in perspective. To be rational about things. Dreams and aspirations are never rational are they?

I had decided some time ago as to what I wanted to do. But unfortunately my folks decided that was not going to be. Then I decided on something else. But that doesn't seem to get me motivated to do what requires to be done. I know it seems simple that I should go back to the first course. But it's not that simple. Why? Well coz in someways the course that my parents have/want in mind is also something that I've wanted to achieve but gave up on.

I've tried to visualize myself 5 years in to the future. I can't see anything except that I feel helpless and stupid and that I haven't done anything with my life. I dread that. I don't want that.

The ABC Tag!

2009-08-02T23:26:00.010+05:30

Well... yet yanother tag!!!

This time I've been Tagged by Sowmi..... :)

This is the ABC tag...

Read at your own peril!!!!!

A – Available? - Na... I don't think you people can afford me...:P

B – Best friend? The BOO! :)

C – Cake or Pie? Cake and pie and chocolate and ice-cream and strawberries and carrot halwa and.....

D – Drink of choice? Whisky on the rocks with no alcoholo! ;)

E – Essential item you use every day? The POT!... Come on... imagine if you didn't use it for a day!

F – Favourite colour? ---Blue... I like all things Blue: Blue Sky, Blue water, Blue movies(ah..ooopps... that wasn't supposed to come out!)

G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? --- i have no idea what the person who wrote this question intends with either.. but in anyway i want out of this question!

H – Hometown? Chennai OOR... Vanakam...Idly/Sambhar/Pongal Saar! soooooppppeeeer! :P

I – Indulgence? ---- Books!(Other indulgences might potentially invite law enforcement agencies to pry around... so let's keep away from that!)

J – January or February? --- or March? or April?... duh! -- Let's just say any time I'm having fun is a good time and I prefer that!

K – Kids & their names?11-- I want my own cricket team u see... the Kesavan XI! Their names... hmmm venkatanarayan subramaniam vikatalakshmi anthony anwar Supreet vignehswara AJai Kesavan(THt's one name k!). I've only got one name so far for my kid... when i get others... U'll be the first to know. :)

L – Life is incomplete without? Losing your Virginity... Serious guys come on.. :P

M – Marriage date? Feb 30th 2010

N – Number of siblings? one

O – Oranges or Apples? Hmmm.. depends... Is there going to be a girl biting the fruit at the other end??? Coz even then both fruits have their advantages... Apple... you can go on gnawing away till the center till ur lips meet! and orange u can get all dirty and squashy! ;)

P – Phobias/Fears? "The only thing to fear is fear itself"....AJai Ravi Kesavan

Q – Quote for today? "All praise Lord AJai... pray that he is kind to us...pray that we don't invite his wrath!"

R – Reason to smile?----I'm extremely Smart & Handsome & Sexy.... That should give all you girls there plenty of reasons to smile! :)

S – Season? ---Winter--I like feeling the warm blood running through me in the cold..;)

T – Tag 3 People?--- Issam( why should I suffer alone???), Sana, Ayesha!

U – Unknown fact about me?---- I'm SUPER SEXY! :)

V – Vegetable you don't like?Bitter Gourd... It's not that I don't like it... but I don't prefer it.

W – Worst habit? :P... Next Question!

X – X-rays you've had? 472198....Honorary President of the Chennai X-ray Club! I get them done free u see...:)

Y – Your favourite food?--- Food.... foood... fooooood......... foooooooood!

Z – Zodiac sign? Cancer..... Beware the CLAW of the CRAB!

India & Global Warming - 2

2009-07-31T22:40:00.005+05:30

This is a continuation of my previous post. First time readers would do well to read the post just prior to this one to get the complete picture.

The challenges posed by Global Warming are enormous and are going to challenge the human race in every way possible. There are going to be technological challenges, infrastructural challenges, societal challenges, etc. It might not be too far fetched to say that it is going to be the most difficult challenge that we will face in this century.

We are going to have to be at our innovative best if we are to generate enough power to sustain life and civilization as it is today. In this scenario it is imperative that the Ministry of Power should develop a road map for power generation in the future. Sadly, nothing of the sort is forthcoming.

Below, I'd like to discuss some plans and ideas that I have in mind to overcome the power generation challenge. I've not really done a complete study on the viability of these projects but I have a hunch that some of them could work.

Central to my ideas is the belief that we have to try and make each house self-sufficient in power. Solar energy will of-course play a big part in this. There could also be other avenues like the construction of low-cost wind mills, or energy from bio-mass etc. Now what this means is that every house owner is responsible for generating energy for themselves. So if you want to put that additional AC in your house then you have to make sure that you are able to generate enough power for it.

Any excess power generated should be fed in to a grid. In times of distress where a particular household is not able to generate enough power for it's needs then it should be able to draw power from the grid. So for eg, if it's an overcast day in the place you are staying in and the solar panels on your roof are not generating enough electricity then you can draw power from the grid and run the appliances in your house.

Major solar-power plants and hydel power plants can be used to provide power to large industries. Additionally they should also supply power to the grid which can balance the supply and demand over the whole country.

I think we should take it on ourselves and try some of these ideas out. It might not be a bad idea to go in to the interior regions of our country, where there is still no access to electricity, and give it a shot.

There needs to be an urgency to tackle these challenges. We need to be more bold and welcome the challenges that the new economy is going to put on us rather than shy away from them.

I'll be happy to hear your thoughts on these ideas. Thanks. :)

India & Global Warming 1

2009-07-30T23:21:00.016+05:30

Flashback to the 80's and 90's- The American Auto Industry Lobby in Washington successfully stalls all efforts by Congress and the Senate to introduce emission and mileage controls on automobiles. The Auto industry argues that consumers should have the freedom to choose their vehicles and the kind of performance it should give. The industry feared that, with tighter laws, the American public would not be able to buy the big gas guzzling Suburban trucks and 4-wheel-drives that they were so fond of.

Coming back to the present. General Motors(GM) is bankrupt. Ford has lost it's position as the second biggest car company in the world and had to sell Jaguar and Land Rover to Tata to stay afloat. Chrysler is considered so toxic that Diamler-Benz(with whom they were supposed to have merged!) removed all associations with them and the company is struggling to find a buyer who can bail them out. The American Auto Industry, once the pride of the American people and the poster-boys of American prowess, now lies in tatters.

On the other hand Euorpean and Japanese Auto makers had to comply with the strict laws that their Governments were putting in place. As a result the mileage efficiency and emission levels of their cars improved drastically. When the era of cheap-oil ended, these manufacturers offered vehicles that were more value for money than the American ones. As a result America lost while Europe, Japan and other countries(most notably South Korea) took over the market.

Now, where is the lesson in this for India???

The Indian Govt's line, in most international forums for climate change, has been that the so-called developed countries should do more to curb pollution and emissions of greenhouse gases. On paper this looks like a good argument, coz if we compare the per-capita emissions of India and the so-called developed countries, our pollution levels are way below. But, having said that, because of our Jumbo size, India still manages to be the 3rd most polluting country on the planet!

Our Govt and members of our elite argue that, if India has to become a fully developed and fully industrialized country, then it needs to have more leeway in fulfilling it's emission and pollution control obligations. They argue that it is simply not acceptable that one standard be set for all because the developed countries have already developed, whereas India cannot afford to set tighter laws and regulations coz that would impede economic and industrial growth.

I think the Govt and others who have taken that line have a fair point. We need economic growth to remove poverty and for further societal development. But should we not accept global norms when it comes to pollution control? Should we leave it to other nations to try and bring down their emissions while we go on with the old way?

Clearly there is going to be a new way. Scientific studies have proved that the old way is simply not sustainable. Oil, Gas and Coal are not going to be replenished and when the world runs out of these sources we're going to have to look at others. This is where my eg of the American Auto Industry comes in. What will happen to India when the world runs out of these sources?

Other nations will have a head start when it comes to developing technology for renewable resources. Since they have tighter regulations in place today, manufacturers and researchers will look for the technologies that will be more Eco-friendly, and in time they will have these technologies with them.

It is bad enough that India is lagging behind today when it comes to industrialization. But if we follow the course that the Govt intends for us, then we are going to be laggards in the future also.
Most of the power plants that we are building today will simply be of no use tomorrow. What about all the money invested in them? We are still going to have to generate power. If we hold on to the line that we are holding on to, then we will soon find ourselves in the same place where the American Auto Industry is today. The rest of the world will be reaping the benefits of foresight, like the European and Japanese car makers are now, and we will be playing catch-up just like we are now. If there is no reason and no incentive for our researchers and manufacturers to develop alternate sources of energy then obviously there is going to be no development in the field.

Analysts estimate that the renewable energy market will be worth 2 trillion dollars by 2050. India's current GDP is a little over 1 trillion. Isn't there a big opportunity for India to try and capture that market? We have to awaken our people to the possibilities of renewable sources and their market potential.

I will continue this essay in my next post. :)

# 50!

2009-07-28T13:35:00.008+05:30

Well readers, open them champagne bottles... coz this is my 50th post! :) :) :)

I remember taking a new year resolution at the beginning of this year to write 10 posts- Yes 10. And as you can see I enjoyed writing my first 10 so much that this blog has now become a part of my life. Two good things there-- one, I exceeded what I'd set out to do, and two, I actually kept a New Year resolution! Well that's the only one I managed to keep.... and no, you're not allowed to ask about the other resolutions. ;)

It's been a one of a kind experience so far. I started out with just Issam reading my blogs and, from those humble beginnings, :P , today I have 15 followers(:)). Thank you so much guys and gals... you make me feel like a rock star... or at least a publishing phenomenon(at times)! :P.

Well I'm not going to get nostalgic and all... tschhh tschh...:)

This is just the beginning.... there is much more to come. Once again thank you guys and girls out there. Have fun... God Bless!

AJai Ravi Kesavan

Struck by Potter Mania!

2009-07-26T12:49:00.006+05:30

Well this post is not about the recent Potter movie. No it isn't. This about the Harry Potter novels. I've just started reading them. :)

I know most of you out there will be like... Potter???... and now???... and that I'm just about a decade late. :)

But, I read my first Potter book(The Philosopher's Stone) just 3 days back. And, I'm happy to inform you that, I've also completed the second book(The Chamber of Secrets). :)

I'm hooked and I can't believe that I've fallen under J.K.Rowlings' spell. I'm actually re-living my old school days and the brilliant times I had then. Wishing I could go back and take some of the Hogwarts spirit with me. Ah... what that would have been!

Hagrid, Dumbledore, Snape, Dudley, Malfoy, Ron, Hermoine-- yes, all the characters have entered my head and I'm sure they're going to remain there. Wizards, witches, magic, wands, flying brooms, Quidditch!- they're all there.. tucked deep inside my memory now. :)

I stayed away from Potter thinking it would be kiddie stuff. You know like -Enid Blyton's Famous Five, and the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys series. I remember reading those books but I never had the passion and zest for them. I read maybe a copy each of those books. Somehow I couldn't enjoy those books much.

It's only much later, when I discovered Harold Robbins and Mario Puzo in my Dad's cabinet, that I actually got in to reading. So my natural conclusion was I was in to more serious reading. Maybe adult fiction was my genre. So that's the way it's been mostly. But I've been branching out in to other things also. Lot of Non-Fiction books, biographies, history and things related to finance and stuff. I know it sounds geeky. But I'm not always like that. Adult fiction is still the staple fare and 7 out of 10 books I read will be adult fiction for sure.

So Harry Potter wasn't really given a chance to work his magic on me. But he's got his chance... and he's got me hooked. :) Those of you out there into reading, and who've not picked up these books yet, I suggest you give it a try. I promise you it'll will be worth it.

I already have the 3rd part(The Prisoner of Azkaban) ready and waiting. So I'll be going to catch it. So long muggles!

@ Tagged

2009-07-22T13:53:00.009+05:30

Well I've been tagged by Venky here. So I have an obligation to fulfill... here I go!

This is the 4 in 4 tag.

Four places I have lived in :

Chennai( where I live now : ( .... not your fault Chennai- you've been good.. I'm looking for something else... something more!)
Kuwait(the atypical --- "Gelf Malayaleeee!")
Palakkad(native territory)
Abu Dhabi( once a "Gelf Mallu" always a "gelf Mallu"!)

I've actually lived only in Chennai and Kuwait... but the tags wants 4- the tag gets 4...:P

Four T.V shows that I love(d) to watch :

Ah ha... let's see...

House M.D.(Hugh Laurie does a Holmes- but his enemy is disease and not crime!)
Two and a Half Men( Charlie Sheen is the best!)
Top Gear(was a big fan of Jeremy Clarkson)
Midnight Hot(on FTv--- ps: don't ask for explanations!)

Four places that I have been on vacation:

Ah.... wouldn't I want to go on one now... well my list is....

Orlando/New York/ New Jersey( Trip to the US when I was a smaller kid- I'm a big one now! ;))
Dubai- ( What the f*** is wrong with these Sheikhs???? They've gone mad.... it's Glitz and Glamour in stone and concrete... it's vulgar and in your face... it's grotesque and beautiful at the same time!)
Bangalore( many times... but last trip was special!)
Mangalore :)

M'lore and B'lore(especially last trip!) were most fun.... can't reveal all details here. :P

Four of my favourite food items:

People who know me well will know that I'm not really very fond of food... unless it's food! :P
Oh.. for the record.. I'm over-weight by 11 kilos! yaaaay!

I'm dreaming of a big juicy Steak!
My mouth's watering thinking about my Amma's Tuna Fish Cutlets!
I'm a sucker for Punjabi food... :)
Ah hell.... I love food....next Tag question!

Four websites that I visit daily:

Hmmmmm.........:)

GMai l~
AJ's Take (someone's got to look at it... come on!)
Shelfari~ site for Book Lovers.
Blogs I follow!

Four places I would rather be.

Well... I'm going to let my imagination run-riot here.

The tribal areas between Afghanistan & Pakistan--- why? Well... it'll be like living in the wild west... you know... with might is right... and riding horses and shooting guns and that sort of thing... very wild... lot of fun. ;)
Las Vegas- I want to turn in to a degenerate gambler... in Sin City. :)
Amsterdam- I'm an adult... and I don't want to give more details that that! :)
Mumbai- it's held my fascination for ever since I can remember... there's no one reason..

Four things I hope to do before I die.....

Here's another one for the imagination...:)

Find what I want to do in my life!
Do the thing I want to do in my life!
Write a book!
Attain bliss!

Four novels I wish I was reading for the first time:

Fools Die- Mario Puzo(the book that changed my idea of the ideal woman!)
Shantaram- Gregory David Roberts(the book that changed my philosophy!)
The Fountainhead- Ayn Rand( the book that changed my idea of work and passion!)
The Adventurers- Harold Robbins( the book that changed my life!)

Four movies that I can watch over and over again:

Nayakan
Forrest Gump
Saving Private Ryan
Gattaca

Four people I believe will respond to this tag:

Sana
Ayesha
Issam
Raks

Don't disappoint people! Pls!

Well that was that.... hope you enjoyed reading my tag... :)

Update

2009-07-21T22:41:00.003+05:30

Well I'm a lil embarrassed about my outburst in my last post. I don't know why I did it- but I did. I know I can delete the post. But I'm not going to do that.
Thanks to all the people who showed concern. I'm not very good at this and I can't really put it in words. I know I should be grateful, and I am, but it's hard to acknowledge that at a certain level. I don't know if you people understand....well I'm psyched out.. I am.
I've been trying to come out with a post. I have some ideas in mind. Maybe in a few days it'll be out here.

Gosh I'm horrible with this. If you are reading this then you obviously are a very tolerant person.

I'll be back soon. With something good hopefully. Take care

Being in a rut

2009-07-16T00:56:00.003+05:30

Right now I'm in a place in my life where I can't and I don't want to do anything. Why??? Well I can't pin it down to any one reason. Collection of things.
I'm angry. Somewhere something's ticked off in my mind. I can't seem to control it. I'm depressed. I have been for some time now. I'm lacking confidence.
I've tried talking to people. Read books. Watched movies. Tried to forget it and move on... but nothing seems to work.
I just wish I didn't think about things so much. I just wish I could live the day without having to think so much about the future. I wish the people I care about could understand me.
Alas, I feel I'm asking for too much!

As a responsible citizen of India how will I take my country through this financial slowdown?

2009-07-06T20:56:00.013+05:30

Hi people. There is an essay competition here in Chennai and this is my entry for it. Results are not out yet. So please cross your fingers for me. ;)
Also today was the day the budget was released so I think it is apt that I post this essay of mine here for all of you.

As a responsible citizen of India how will I take my country through this financial slowdown?

The sub-prime mortgage crisis that originated in the US, soon consumed every country of the world, and has now become a Global Crisis of epic proportions that is second only to the Great Depression of 1929.

Most of the major economies in the world are in recession and this is taking its toll on people everywhere in the world. With reduced demand leading to reduced productivity, this in turn forces more and more people out of jobs as companies try to cut-down costs and maintain bottom lines.

India has escaped the brunt of the crisis thanks to its strong domestic economy and good financial regulations. We have managed to register 5-6% growth in the last year. This is down from 9% in the previous few years, but is still impressive considering the global crisis we are in.

However, certain sectors of our economy that are export-driven have suffered with reduced demand from abroad. This has resulted in job-losses for millions. Most of the people who have lost their jobs are daily wage-earners and usually the sole bread winners in their families. So the problem scales up when we take in to account all the dependents.

The stock market also lost nearly half its value. Many investors lost all their life’s savings in a matter of months.

Many analysts and experts say the worst of the crisis is over and things can only go up from here. But there are others that say that the world will take a long time to recover from the excesses that led to the crisis.

It is important that we focus on recovery and maintain strong economic growth rates to realize the dream of a poverty-free India. President Kalam once said that if India were able to maintain a growth rate of 10%, then by 2020, we could eradicate the scourge of poverty from this country. It is therefore imperative that we all take steps to re-energize the economy.

So, as a responsible citizen of India, how will I take my country through this financial slowdown?

Many analysts and experts believe that a recession/slow-down is a good time to restructure the economy and give it a better direction. I’m a believer of this school of thought and would like to look at this tough situation in a positive way.

It is widely accepted that one of the ways for an economy to handle recessions/slow-downs is to invest heavily in infrastructure. The deflationary effects of the slow-down means prices come down and therefore more work can be done for the same price.

India needs to develop its roads and transportation network. We need better schools and colleges. We need better power supply, better telecommunications, better ports and airports. Thus there is a tremendous opportunity to develop our infrastructure and bring it to world-class levels. This large-scale investment in the economy will drive up demand and will bring dividends over the long- term. Now as an individual I’m not really in a position to invest on my own in projects of the scale mentioned above. However, in a democracy, I am enabled to vote for the candidate that promises to do as mentioned above. I did exercise this power in the recently concluded general elections and I will continue to do so in all elections in the future. I also plan to be more involved and write to my local MLA, MP and Councilor demanding the implementation of the election promises and also try and give my own ideas and initiatives when I can.

I would also like to develop a savings habit for myself and encourage others to also do the same. Like the old saying goes- One must save for a rainy day. India has the highest savings-rate in the world. But being born in a generation with easy access to credit in the form of credit cards and personal loans, I feel those good old-fashioned money values are being lost. This easy accessibility to credit was the reason for the crisis in the US and I believe it is the duty of every responsible citizen to try and avoid it so that we don’t suffer a similar crisis here.

I also plan to become a prudent investor. I won’t be dealing in the stock market until I have understood the market dynamic. I want to have a complete knowledge base and I don’t want to be playing the market on speculations and gossip. People should return to their books and become thorough before they enter and play the markets. Market speculation and hype was another big reason that drove the real-estate bubble in the US. We must try and avoid the same here.

I have a long-term goal of becoming an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship is the key to harnessing innovation and creating jobs. Job creation will hopefully be a positive off-shoot of my entrepreneurial venture. I will also encourage others around me to get in to business and try out new ideas and processes. In this way we can all play our part in developing Brand India and in harnessing this country’s tremendous potential.

These are the steps I intend taking to help my country through this financial crisis. I know that I am only an individual and there is very little that I can do to influence society and policy from where I am today. I also know that there is very little one can do when a crisis of a global scale is on us. I might be only one drop in the ocean, but each drop makes the ocean. People should learn and understand that, individually and collectively, we all have our roles to play in our society, economy and country. I’m sure if we all work on it we can pull through this crisis and make the India of our dreams a reality.

Shingara Singh- the last known survivor of Jallianwala Bagh

2009-07-02T21:25:00.040+05:30

Shingara Singh, the last known survivor of the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, passed away this Monday. He was 113 years old.

On April 13th 1919, a crowd of almost 1500, had gathered at the Jallianwala Bagh in Amritsar, to protest the harsh measures the then British Govt were taking against the local people. General Dyer, an officer of the British Indian Army, ordered his men in to the compound and blockaded the only entry/exit. He then ordered his men to fire on the protesters and, in the indiscriminate firing, 379 people were killed and over a 1100 were wounded. Many of those who lost their lives were women and children. Many were crushed in the stampede that ensued in the Bagh when the firing began. Many jumped to their deaths in to a large well that was in the compound as it was their only defense against the guns.

When I first read about the incident I was a very small child. Nevertheless it made by blood boil. The incident is a big part of the award winning movie- Gandhi. It was an inspiration to many of our freedom fighters including the likes of Bhagat Singh, Rajguru and Chandrashekar Azad.
Till date, the British Govt has not apologized for the massacre. General Dyer received no punishment. Don't be surprised as there is nothing unusual about this. The Brits are known for their snobbishness and arrogance. Next time these people make a hue and cry about human rights and other issues, remember that these snobs have very different rules for themselves and for the others.

In many ways the passing away of Mr Shingara Singh is the passing away of an era- the era in which India won its independence.
There was a small article in the Hindu about Mr Singh. It saddened me to read that he felt he'd been ignored by the Govt. To quote the article- "he rued government apathy towards him and his family". He'd been honoured by President Kalam on a visit to pay homage at the Bagh. But clearly this was not enough for Mr Singh.

God Bless the man's soul, but I wish he'd looked at things a little differently. I wish he'd not cribbed about the Govt apathy towards him, coz well, that's what we are going to remember him for. I'm not saying what the Govt did was right. No, I don't intend to defend the Govt.

What I'm trying to say here is this... that we've got to stop blaming the Govt for everything. This problem is so endemic that many of us take it with us to our graves. Business is bad- blame the Govt, rains are bad- blame the govt, India doesn't win enough medals in the Olympics- blame the Govt, law & order- blame the Govt, caste and religion- blame the Govt, bad roads- blame the Govt, dirty cities- blame the Govt.

Where does it end? It doesn't. You see the problem with a democracy is that it depends very much on the people's initiative if something has to be done. Take any one of the problems I mentioned in the previous para and the fault for them lies with us as much as anyone else. The Govt does play an important part in formulating and implementing policy. But we play a bigger part in choosing which policy the Govt is going to follow. We also play a big role in forming/shaping national attitude. This is where the dejection that comes naturally to most people in this country hurts us most. This negative attitude permeates everywhere and everything.

I'd like to quote John.F.Kennedy here. He said-"ask not what your country does for you, ask what you can do for your country".

Right now most of my country men are fighting over who takes more of the pie. Everyone wants reservations for their communities, everyone wants subsidies, everyone wants and wants and wants. But no one is ready to give for their country!

Maybe the Govt was bad to us, maybe things didn't work out the way we wanted them to. But that doesn't mean we crib about things. We can't sit and complain as that demotivates others. We have a duty to try and be positive all the time, to try to make things better, to keep ourselves motivated. To keep hope. This is our duty.
My fellow readers and country men, I will conclude saying this. That when it is your time, please don't complain about your country. It might have done you wrong, but forgive it. Believe in your country and it's destiny. Let hope, not dejection, be the last message you leave on earth.

The King is dead!

2009-06-27T09:35:00.004+05:30

The 'King of Pop'- Michael Jackson, passed away in LA yesterday. I write this post as a dedication to what the man meant to me.
Aow! - that was probably his biggest contribution to the world. I first started listening to him when I was around 7-8 years old. He was supposed to make a trip down to India and there was a show in DD promoting him.
The show brought me to the world of Michael Jackson. There were the phenomenal music videos and dance moves. There was the gyrating pelvis, the moon walk, the characteristic full throated yell that portrayed passion and energy, and I, like most guys that time, was floored.
I bought all his albums. I practised his dance moves and could even do the moon walk! (people who know me now will laugh, but I could at one time.) I even started to dress like him with the light blue denim shirt, buttons undone and a white vest underneath. I remember Dad saw me once like that, and he gave me an earful. He He!
That particular tour to India was cancelled, and he toured only much later. My fascination for the man though continued unabated.
My favourite song of his was 'Beat It'. There were others also. There was 'Billie Jean' also from Thriller, 'Smooth Criminal' from Dangerous, 'Bad' from the album Bad. There was also a video featuring Michael Jordan called 'Jam'. That was also brilliant. In Smooth Criminal there's a scene where from standing in the upright position he goes all the way down bending just his ankles. I was fascinated by that move and kept practising it. Unfortunately I'd always fall on my face! I later learnt that trick- photography was used in filming that particular move. :)
As I grew older, I moved on to other musicians and genres. After a certain point of time, it was no longer cool to be listening to Michael Jackson. I'd grown up. I got rid of all my MJ tapes and CD's.
Every once in a while though, there'd be an MJ song playing on TV. And I might have stayed on that channel for a second longer than usual, just to remember the old times. He was the first guy I'd ever confessed to being a fan of. And somewhere at the back of my mind, in my sub-conscious he was still there.
Yesterday's news brought back those wonderful feelings and emotions that were locked away in my mind/ sub-conscious. I remembered being fascinated by the guy and I still can't point out why. I didn't know what he stood for. I didn't understand the lyrics of his songs. His dance moves were maddening, his dressing sense was outrageous. And I still loved the guy. Gosh, what was wrong with me?
Well nothing was wrong with me or the millions of others he'd influenced in the same way. He had that magnetic pull, the charm and aura. Commentaries and tributes to him have gone on and on about how he was a force for good and how he broke down the barriers of race and so on and so forth. I don't know about all that. The truth is that there was a force around him that was/is simply inexplicable. He was and always will be a one of a kind entertainer. He truly was the King of POP!
Thank you MJ. May your soul rest in peace.

MCC- Makes History!

2009-06-23T22:44:00.010+05:30

I joined MCC in 2003. It had topped the India Today ranking for best college in Sciences that year, and I was real proud that I'd been selected and that too on merit.
Like all kids at that time I'd been brought up to believe that my destiny was to do Engineering. And I'd really not thought of anything else. But my performance in the 12th exams and the entrance exams were not great and I couldn't make it to any decent Engineering college. When my MCC call letter came my choice was between a not so great Engg Coll and MCC. I chose MCC.
I'd got evening college. Not because of my marks, which were pretty good for B.Sc standards, but because I was not born the right caste/religion. I didn't mind. I'd accepted it as all guys do at that age. What can you do about the system ah?
We were the first evening college B.Sc Maths batch in MCC. Oh the best was yet to come. We had completely new faculty who had absolutely no experience prior to that in teaching! Wow. One moment these ladies were all nice and friendly and the other moment they were complaining about our lack of discipline. I didn't mind. Maybe we were a bit on the naughty side. But just in the adjacent class you had the B.Com guys, who were always hooting and up to all the scandalous things that make for a good college life. In my class there were just two folks( me included) out of a grand total of nine who could be labelled scandalous. But even we were discreet and kept most of it outside the classroom. We didn't want to get in to trouble after all the mischief in school. But lady fate had different ideas for us.
The games still went on. Initially when I'd sit in their classes, I'd be amazed at their grasp of the concepts, their examples, the language they used, the notes they made you take down. It didn't fit coz these ladies didn't look the type. Something was wrong and I couldn't figure it out. When they made you take notes their language was impeccable. They never looked into notes or books and they knew where exactly the commas, the semi colons, the hyphens etc would come. Initially I was truly amazed. Only later on as I was going through the reference books, did I discover the true con. Word to word rote from the reference books! Not one word coming from their mouths was original. Not one example that they gave was their own. It was as good as someone reading to you from a tape. Like one of those audio-books. I was truly amazed. Here are people respected for their academic credentials and they couldn't make one sentence or one example for themselves. One lady was the Gold Medalist in Maths from our college in both her UG and PG. The other lady was doing her PhD. They were often stumped when I asked them doubts. Change things a bit in your answer paper and you'd make them cringe! They want word to word rote. Simple!
I still didn't get why they harboured this strong antagonism towards me. They were constantly picking on me. They'd sent me to the coordinator(our equivalent of Dean) a couple of times. It was only later that I realized that the real reason for all this. Which was that these dames feared me. I could speak better than them. I understood the concepts better than them. I could complicate things for them by asking them doubts and they'd be found out for the mug pots that they really were/are. These things were building up and that's when they got bitchy. These dames' manipulations reached such heights that they even managed to get me suspended from college.
Looking at these dames I lost interest in my course. You can't seriously hope to study something when two stupid(really stupid) females are in your faculty. These were people who'd excelled in the system. Ya right... neat system! And to this illustrious list were added another two fine females in my final year. Things were only getting better.
I managed to clear my U.G. I couldn't make a decision as to what to do next. So I decided to study. With my marks I couldn't hope to get anywhere other than MCC itself. So I applied and I got through the ex-students quota. Some advantage of being MCCian.
Now I was in day college with the great faculty and better class mates(I hoped!). I expected to do some real learning. But was I about to be disappointed or what.
Most of my fellow class-mates couldn't construct one sentence in English properly. These were guys with 80-90% in their UG's! I didn't understand how these guys were writing Lagrange's Theorems and Group Theory and explaining vital concepts in Real and Complex Analysis in their answer sheets! I was soon about to find out.
Pointers to clearing tests in MCC. Mark 10 important questions from last years' papers. Leave your brains out of the whole thing. Mug them throughout. Go to the exam, vomit your shit and clear with minimum 80%. Not once in my 5-6 years in MCC did I have to apply my mind to a problem. Not one challenging problem. You could complete your Masters in Maths not having attempted a single problem! That's the beauty of our system.
Oh the faculty were all super stars with years and years of experience. But from them I got the impression that they'd given up. A few of them retired. Guess who came to replace them???? My Gold Medalist winning faculty from evening college! Promotion! She was now going to give her gyaan to 2nd year PG. Lucky lucky me!
So again I screwed up my PG. Most of my class mates have got out-standing marks. And what do most of them want to do??? They want to become teachers!!! They still can't do one sum properly... they still don't know how to frame a sentence in English. And they are so brain dead that you give them an easy sudoku and they could be there with it for hours and still not complete it. In all of my UG and PG life I was the only one in class who asked any doubts. I know it's unbelievable but it's true. These are tomorrow's teachers Ladies and gentlemen.... do I hear applause??
This is where and how my dear Gold Medalist bitch came in to the teaching line. This fine system of ours manages to produce many many such enlightened souls who will continue to enlighten our society further.
This was and is MCC. I have hence stopped my subscription for India Today. Thank you.

ICC WT20- PAK are Champions!

2009-06-22T09:23:00.004+05:30

Well ever since India were knocked out of the tournament my interest in the whole thing had waned. But it is still a world cup and I'm sure guys out there from Pakistan and Sri Lanka were following their teams and were really excited for the big final.
When the T20 game was conceptualized I'm sure most cricket fans feared that, with this version, the domination of bat over ball would be complete. Great bowlers seem to be a rare and dying species. And most countries seemed to be preparing flat beds for both domestic and international matches, where the ball would never spin or swing, so that the cricket could be "entertaining". Scores in excess of 300 in ODI's and 200 in T20 were a common feature.
This World Cup was different. Full credit should go to the groundsmen and administrators in England who had the courage to keep sporting wickets throughout the tournament.
Batting heavy sides like India and Australia were found wanting. While teams that were more balanced like Sri Lanka, Pakistan, West Indies and South Africa performed exceedingly well and made it in to the semis.
It is to the credit of the organizers that it was the two best bowling sides in the tournament that made it in to the semis. Their vision might have just revived the dying breed of bowlers and I hope the Indian board has taken notice and decides to do something about our own tracks. The Sri Lankan team were unbeaten in the tournament. Pakistan had peaked at the right time and made a surprise victory over South Africa in the semis, who until then were firm favourites to lift the cup.
Pakistan played to a plan from the beginning and it was only Sangakarra's brilliant effort with the bat and some swash-buckling cricket from Angelo Mathews the brought some respectability to the total. However it did not prove enough and Shahid 'boom-boom' Afridi's half-century was enough to see the Pakistanis through. Pakistan have always been a supremely talented side. The problem has been with their temperament. In Younis Khan I feel they've found a leader who can guide them in the right direction. He reminds me very much of the old Dhoni. He's calm and cool under pressure. He says the right things in the press conference. Is shrewd and tactful in his cricket.
I remember Younis said in a press conference that his team were taking the tournament lightly and were more intent on having fun than anything else. Compare that with the obvious pressure that the Indians were under. And also note how the 2 teams ended the tournament. :)
Dhoni has come under intense scrutiny from the media. From being the media-darling he's been transformed in to the media-villain. It will be interesting to see how he comes out from this. Being the big fan I hope that he comes out tougher and stronger.
Next on is the India vs West Indies series starting in five days time. I'm not sure if I will blog for those matches as I'm moving out of town. I will try and keep my posts coming. Do drop down every once in a while. Take care. Cheers! ;)

ICC WT20- Ind vs Eng

2009-06-15T14:07:00.003+05:30

Well well well... what I feared most as an Indian fan has happened... India are out of the World Cup... and people back home are already getting their daggers ready! ;)
India played poorly. England played the better cricket and deserved to win the match. Should be case closed there itself. Ah ha... you thought so? No way.. this is India after all!
I never thought I'd find myself saying this, with me being the big fan and all, but I feel that it was Dhoni's tactical blunders that cost us the match. It was good to ring in a few changes from the last game. But dropping Irfan Pathan was not called for. He was bowling quite well and was doing a decent job with the bat also. Zaheer or Ishant could have been dropped. They have not been performing as well as the team wants them to.
I thought the bowlers did quite well to bring England down to 153. Pietersen and Bopara had gotten off to a handsome start and things were looking ominous for India. But Ravindra Jadeja had different plans and he removed both Pietersen and Bopara in an inspired spell of bowling.
Playing R.P. Singh was a good move and he did bowl really well. Why then didn't he bowl his full quota of 4 overs???? Ishant was getting clobbered all over the park, and he still bowled out!
The leg-side line from the bowlers was defensive and doesn't suit this team. This is a team that plays aggressive. Dhoni is an aggressive captain. When you see him ask his bowlers to bowl a line like that, you know he's not in the right frame of mind.
The Indian fielding was hideous. No dropped catches fortunately, but the ground fielding was just horrible! India needs to work on this urgently.
Predictably the English bowlers dished out the short stuff when the Indians came out to bat. Raina and Rohit Sharma found it extremely tough going and succumbed . Both players will have to work on their game(especially against quality bowling on fast/bouncy wickets) if they are to survive international cricket. Playing Ravindra Jadeja @ No 4 was preposterous. When I saw him walk in to the ground after Raina got out I was like "Oh NO!". I was hoping the guy would prove me wrong, but he didn't. Dhoni didn't read the game well here. It was obvious that the English bowlers were bowling short. The run rate required was rising and it would have been ideal to send Yuvraj or Yousuf out to bat. They would have handled the short stuff better and also the run rate. As things turned out Dhoni left things for a little too late.
Once the required rate reached 10-11, India was always going to be playing 'catch up'. Yuvraj got out to a brilliant piece of wicket-keeping and from then on it was England's game. Dhoni couldn't find any touch and couldn't get any boundaries(edges behind not being counted!). Yousuf and Dhoni did bring it close with some good running and good hitting (from Yousuf!). But England held sway and walked away with a victory that ended India's hopes of defending it's title.
I think more than anything the Indian players should take a good break. The team looked jaded. Probably one of the reasons for the insipid fielding performance throughout the tournament. Dhoni seems to have aged with all the pressure and non-stop cricket. He needs/deserves a good break.
I know many of you out there will be disappointed and generally be critical of this team. But this still is a very good team. I think we need to give the guys a chance and some time.

ICC WT20- Ind vs WI

2009-06-13T09:37:00.009+05:30

India were out played by a high- spirited West Indies team at Lord's last night. It gets tough for India to qualify for the semis now. They have to beat both South Africa and England to get through. With the South Africans playing as well as they are, that's a task that's going to take some doing.
West Indies played to a plan. The bowling was aggressive. They bowled short/just short of length to all the Indian batsmen. I remember at least 3 Indian batsmen getting out trying to play the pull.
India lost 3 early wickets and Dhoni and Yuvraj had to consolidate in the middle. Dhoni got stuck and his hitting form will be of concern to him and the rest of the team. He scored a mere 11 runs of 23 balls and doesn't seem to be able to score as freely as he used to. I think MSD just needs to be more positive. He's been playing the role of sheet anchor quite successfully for India and has been quite successful in Tests and ODI's. But any good player should also be able to raise the tempo when he wants to, especially in T20 cricket.
Yuvraj was brilliant again. It's like he was built for the T20 game. It was his innings and Yousuf Pathan's late flourish that took the team to a respectable 153.
India started off the second innings really well. Being able to keep Gayle tight for over 6 overs was excellent work by the opening bowlers. Irfan bowled well and brother Yousuf also played his part. Zaheer was disciplined. Dhoni kept rotating his bowlers in a bid to keep Gayle uncomfortable.
Bhaji's maiden over to Gayle was a treat to watch and was the highlight of the initial part of the second innings. For the true connoisseur of cricket it was off-spin bowling at it's best. It was an interesting duel between the spirited Punjabi and the big Caribbean bloke. I'm happy that the duel went Bhajji's way.
But it looked like India had plans only for Gayle and no one else in the West Indies batting line-up. Most of the bowler looked short of ideas when the other batsmen came in. When Bravo joined Simmons in the middle, India looked completely lost. The pair were able to score runs freely. The required rate was about 9-9.5 an over, and these batsmen were getting them easily! There was a boundary being scored every over, and Bravo was running like his life depended on it.
A note here on the Indian fielding. I remember two miss-fields where the ball went right through the Indian fielder and to the boundary. Generally the fielding effort was lethargic. India didn't seem to have 'the bite' when it was fielding. There was no running around and diving, no incredible saves, and the returns to the keeper were horrible and need to be worked on urgently. The energy and passion seemed to be missing. India seemed to lack that X factor on the field (which was so visible in the Windies fielding). It could be the fatigue from playing so much cricket and traveling over the past year.
Bravo proved to be too good and the Windies reached home comfortably.
Things look bleak now for the Men-in-blue. Getting in to the semis is going to be an uphill task. I think more than anything India just need to take a bit of rest, take a little time out, and then get back to things full-swing. India is still one of the top teams in the tournament and now it's for the boys to live up to their tags.

To Cut a Long Story Short- Jeffrey Archer

2009-06-10T17:02:00.003+05:30

I'd picked up this book just a day back and as with most of Jeffrey Archer's books I didn't put it down till I'd reached the last page.
Jeffrey Archer is definitely one of my favorite authors. This book is a collection of short stories and there is the trademark Archer wit and plot in almost every story. In some stories Mr Archer's writings border on perversion, but he manages to pull it off and I did enjoy most of it. There were some stories that I felt were not up to the author's standards. But over-all the book was a very good read.

Book Shopping!

2009-06-08T22:14:00.007+05:30

Last Sunday I went to the Crosswords bookshop on Venkatnarayana Road, T.Nagar. I'd heard that it was a good place and I've been wanting to check it out for long. I'd been saving up some cash to splurge on books.
I'm still getting used to traveling by public transport. Till last year I had my bike with me. There was never any need to go by bus/ share-auto. Now tho things are very different. I've been using public transport a lot and I consider my self a bit of a share-auto expert. I prefer traveling in share-autos to buses. You get places to sit and you get dropped where you want on the main road. Better deal than the over-crowded buses.
Now coming back to books and the Crosswords book store.... I took a share-auto from my place to T.Nagar. Had to walk a bit to the store but that's k, I love walking. My first impressions of Crosswords were not very good. I expected it to be a lot bigger. But this was just one small place. There were not many books/authors to select from. That way I feel Landmark is still the best bookshop in Chennai. If any of you there know a better place do let me know.
I still did buy a few books though. I bought four in all. 'MOVERS AND SHAKERS- Prime Ministers of India 1947 to 2009' by Scharada Dubey. Then Narayana Murthy's 'A Better India A Better World', 'Stay Hungry Stay Foolish' by Rashmi Bansal and 'Maximum City' by Suketu Mehta, which incidentally I plan on gifting somebody.
There's been nothing much to do these past few months so I've been devouring books. I lost count of how many books I've read in the last month. My last read was Khaled Hosseini's 'The Kite Runner'. Really good book. Really enjoyed it.
I hope my latest quota lasts me at least till the next week. Maybe I should start adding reviews of books to my blogs? ;). I think that's a nice idea. Let's see how it goes.

ICC WT20- Ind vs Ban

2009-06-07T23:21:00.004+05:30

Well "cricket ka maha-yudh" is here. The ICC World T20 Championships is here. Though to be honest I think I've had an over dose of cricket these past few months. But well, it is the World Cup, and India are defending champs. So yes I'm still going to be following the games. :)
It was a nice start for India to the WC. Rohit Sharma seems to like opening the batting. Gambhir and Dhoni got stuck a bit in the middle and were not able to score freely. They couldn't create the momentum that was required. That job was left to Messrs Yuvraj and Irfan. Yuvraj was outstanding. It was just beautiful batting, clean hitting and awesome entertainment. His 18 ball 41 finally took India to 180 and that gave the score a bit of respectability.
There were plenty of nerves around with Holland having beaten England and WI having beaten the Aussies before this particular game. So B'ladesh must have been hoping that they too could continue with the 'giant-killing' spree. But it was not to be.
Though the openers did a fantastic job in B'desh's run-chase, India kept picking up regular wickets, and the pressure just proved to be too much for the B'deshis to handle. A good bowling performance by Pragyan Ojha, where he took four for 21, settled the game in India's favour. The rest of the bowling, with the exception of Bhajji, looked a little rusty and that will worry the team management. I don't think Zaheer was 100%. Irfan and Ishant couldn't halt the momentum that the B'desh innings had gathered in the beginning. It was Dhoni's move to bring Yousuf Pathan early on that gave India it's break through and from then on wickets kept falling.
I must admit that I was impressed with B'desh. The bowling was good. They faltered a bit at the end under the Yuvi onslaught. But generally the bowling- especially the spin bolwing was very good. The fielding was exceptional. And the way the B'deshi batsmen went about chasing down India's target was good to see. They seemed to be fearless and played some very good strokes. It's very different from the B'desh players I remember watching a few years back. I'm sure that this young team is a team to watch out for the future.
India's next fixture is against Ireland and should be a fairly easy one. That means India should cruise thorugh in to the super 8's. That's where the real competition will be.
Hoping Dhoni and his boys will continue the good run. :)

Friend(s)

2009-06-03T22:50:00.005+05:30

Although outwardly it seems that I have a lot of friends it's not really how it is. I have a few friends. A core group. A select few and that's all. As for the rest, they're merely acquaintances.
Outwardly I appear to be an extrovert. But inside I'm not that guy. I'm a different chap. I'm a guy who loves to spend time on my own. I need my own space. I don't share my secrets with everyone/anyone. My friends know this and allow me to be this way.
It's not important to them that I explain things. For them things fall in place. They might not know the parts but they understand the whole. And sometimes it surprises me that they do, because I've never told it to them. I don't think I've ever revealed myself to anyone. But my friends know me and that's the way it is.
Sometimes I feel all the trouble that I have with my folks is that they don't understand me. I'm not like either of them (no I'm not adopted, just a Hybrid!). I can't communicate with them the way they want me to. That's the root of most of the problems I have with my folks. There's absolutely no communication. A friend of mine once advised me to open up to them. To seek their support and understanding. But I couldn't. I can't. It's not like me to open up.
You see even with my best friend I'm not completely open. It's not that I'm not honest. No.. it's not that. It's quite often having/creating my own space to maneuver around life's problems. I don't see it as a fault. I'm extremely touchy about my privacy and have been so ever since I can remember. People close to me don't try to get too close. And that's the reason they're close to me!
The last few weeks/ months have been tough for me. I reached a nadir in my thought process. Nothing was going right (I don't want to go on and on about my depressions here like other bloggers do. But well I am talking about it so it's only fair that I touch on it a bit. ).
I haven't opened up to any one friend. No one. It's not that they can't help me. But it's that I want to find my own way through this on my own. And also I don't want to burden anyone with my worries. At least not the whole lot. I break it down. Ask for suggestions on different things from different people. Use that and try and find my way.
Some friends have really helped me these past few months. I'm not going to name them. But if they go through this blog they'll know. My friends after all! I just want to thank you people for being there.
If there's one thing I want for you guys and gals it's this.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Love you

IPL 2: Curtains Down

2009-05-27T11:39:00.013+05:30

The month long cricket carnival has come to an end. A new champion has been crowned. And it's time to take stock of what was and what wasn't in the final few days of the IPL.
Well to me Chennai's loss in the semis came as a bit of a shocker. I couldn't get down to writing a post about that game. But I'm over it now. For me Dhoni's decision to play Oram instead of Hussey backfired on him. It was a difficult call to make. Oram had played the whole tournament and added depth in the bowling department. Hussey had just come back from national duties and would have played his first IPL game of the season had he been given the chance. It was a tough call to make. With Mattie Hayden doing as well as he was in the tournament and the batting looking very good I'll give Dhoni the benefit of the doubt there. Most fans feel that Chennai's bowling let us down. But given the circumstances I think we performed really well in bowling. What let us down was the batting. Had the batsmen put on 10-15 more runs on the board then it would have been a very different game.
To take nothing away from Bangalore though. Chennai had got off to a flyer and B'lore did wonderfully well to come back the way they did. And they went about chasing down the score also in a very professional manner. They made the most of the initial fielding restrictions. Put together a couple of useful partnerships and they found the boundary whenever it was required.
The other semi was an all out Gilly show. It was batting at it's brutal best and even Sehwag had to admit that there was nothing he or his bowlers could do about it. I feel sorry for Delhi. They played the best cricket in the tournament. But Gilly has this uncanny ability to raise his game when it's a big one. And he did it again and sent Delhi packing.
So this year's finalists were actually last year's bottom finishers in the league table. Fantastic turnaround for both teams. B'lore had done magnificently to come to the final. They were not doing too well in the initial stages of the league. Only when Pietersen left and Kumble took over the reigns did B'lore's fortunes change. Chargers on the other hand had gotten off to a handsome start but faltered mid-way. Andrew Symonds's return added strength and dimension to the team and they made the most of that. Rohit Sharma and R.P. Singh played fantastically through the tournament and Deccan rode in to to finals.
It was a well fought final. B'lore bowled and fielded really well. But Deccan managed to strut together a few crucial partnerships and Gibbs played responsibly(not something that you'd associate with him!) to bat through the innings. It was a good total put up by the Chargers but not something that was beyond B'lore. B'lore's chase began in right earnest but they kept losing wickets. There was a brief time, when Ross Taylor and Virat Kohli were batting, that B'lore looked to be in control of the game. But Symonds's match- changing over, when he managed to dismiss both of them in two consecutive balls, swung things the Chargers way.
In the end the Deccan Chargers prevailed and were crowned IPL CHAMPIONS 2009.
The closing ceremony was an insipid affair. I couldn't sit through Akon's non sense. Now this is a man who sells his music through his vulgar lyrics and perverted videos. What were the organizers thinking in bringing him on for the closing ceremony? One would have liked to see the IPL babes in swim suits and things like that. But there was nothing of that sort. And Katrina Kaif had far too many clothes on to be interesting. So that was that.
Anyways.... the IPL was a great way to pass off the evenings during this summer. I hope Chennai will do better next year. I hope you have enjoyed reading my posts this IPL. Thank you. Will be back next year also. :)

Singh is King!

2009-05-23T15:23:00.005+05:30

Yes people Singh is King.
Lots has happened in the political landscape these past few days. I know I'm a little late in acknowledging Mr Manmohan Singh's victory in the general elections. I needed time to collect my thoughts. I wanted to get a feel of what I and others around me were thinking about this landmark victory for Mr Singh and the "Grand Old Party" of India.
Generally everyone is very pleased that Mr Singh is coming back to the PM's post. He has the goodwill of the people. He might lack oratorical skill and personal charm, but he more than makes up for it with his honesty, efficiency and vision. I might disagree with him on certain policies but I have no doubt that he will continue to do a good job running this great nation of ours.
Most political pundits are surprised by the performance of the Congress party in these elections. The Congress has delivered it's best performance in the Parliament in over two decades and that too under an incumbent Prime Minister. The election results have been nothing short of brilliant for the Congress.
Most notable was the Congress' performance in UP and West Bengal. In West Bengal the Trinamool-Congress combine managed to break the hegemony of the CPI-M and Left parties. In UP the Congress managed to break away from the politics of hate, caste and religion and offered a viable, more stable alternative.
Many people are seeing these results, especially the performance in UP, as proof of Rahul Gandhi's 'coming of age' as a politician. The youth are very enthu about someone like Rahul becoming PM in the near future. The media has almost made it their mission to deliver him the PM"s post.
I don't share in these views. To me he is no match to someone like Mr Singh (who not only has the qualifications but has also delivered in the past). I admit here that I have a grudge against the dynastic tendencies of our politics. I admire the way the Family, especially Mrs Sonia Gandhi, have handled themselves in the public eye. One of the most brilliant political moves in India's political history will be that of Mrs Gandhi's decision to make Mr Singh PM. But that still is no reason to make Rahul next in line. To me he is yet to prove his credentials as a mass leader. He has made many strategic errors in the past. He has also belittled an ex-PM from the Congress party(Mr Narasimha Rao who was arguably one of the best PM's we've ever had). So though this might be an important victory for the Family there is still a long way to go for Rahul to prove(to me at least!) that he is PM material.
Mr Singh now has the strength and the mandate to do all he can for the good of this country. I hope to see more in the way of Economic reforms and also some packages for the economy which at the moment is struggling with the recessionary after-effects from around the world. He must do more on the Home security front. I hope he retains Mr Chidambaram for the Home Minister's post. Infrastructure will receive a massive boost. So will education. Mr Singh must not ignore Health, the Environment and reforming of the Judiciary to make sure that there is speedy dispensation of Justice.
I wish him well for his second term.

IPL-2 CSK vs RCB

2009-05-14T22:58:00.004+05:30

The Chennai juggernaut was brought to a halt by the Bangaloreans today. It was a good game. Low scoring one. It finished in the last over of the second innings.
Bangalore is a team inspired. I've said this before and I'll say it again- Kumble is an inspirational leader. He should have been made captain in the first place. Pietersen is not captain material. Kumble's made the guys believe in themselves and they've backed him by pulling off two sensational wins in two games.
RCB's chase against KKR will go down as one of the best in IPL history. And Ross Taylor's knock that day will go down as one of the best ever played in a 20-20. Today it was a more all round effort from the team. Everyone had some roll to play. And they all ended up doing their bit.
What won the game for team RCB was undoubtedly the exceptional fielding performance. It was a joy to see the RCB team on the field. Not bad for a team that counts the not very athletic Rahul Dravid and Anil Kumble amongst it's ranks. There was brilliant ground fielding, outstanding catching, breath-taking run outs. It was all there.
It was a welcome change from the dismal fielding standards that all other teams have put up in this competition so far. (Chennai of-course tops the charts when it comes to worst fielding units. Who can forget Jakati trying to run out Devon Smith from about 6 inches from the stumps and missing!)
The turning point of the match I feel was when Van de Merwe caught and bowled Dhoni. It was one of the best catches I've ever seen in my life. I actually got up from my sofa for that one. It was that good! That catch and it's brilliance actually turned the momentum towards Bangalore. It often happens in sport where one moment of inspiration is enough to lift an entire team. This catch was one such moment.
RCB's batting woes continued. And though they won I have to say they made a mess of the chase. It was also some very good bowling by Chennai. Albie Morkel was precision personified in his 4-over spell and that helped Chennai pile on the pressure early. Muralitharan was brilliant as usual. Even guys like Balaji, Jakati, Tyagi and Oram bowled really well. It was the batting that let us down.
Hayden has been bludgeoning the bowling right through this season. I'm glad that he's a Chennai "local" boy (albeit adopted, and a very very big boy!). Raina, Dhoni, Vijay and Badrinath couldn't sustain the momentum that Hayden's knock provided. Oram and Morkel look horribly out of sorts with the bat. Maybe for the next game or two we could try putting one of these guys up the order to give them more time to set in and build some form.
B'lore's win has certainly thrown open the competition. There is still 6 teams in the reckoning for a place in the semis. Every match from now on will be do-or-die for the teams. That should make for some intriguing and entertaining cricket. I'm fairly confident that Chennai will make it through. After all we still have one game against KKR. :)

I Vote Tomorrow!

2009-05-12T23:49:00.003+05:30

Ladies and Gentlemen, tomorrow is the day I cast my vote to decide the future of my country. Yes the big Mela that is the Indian elections is in it's final stage. And Chennai, where I stay, decides it's candidates for the Lok Sabha tomorrow.
Now these elections have brought technology to the forefront of political parties. I'll give you a few examples. The other day I got a call from Karunanidhi! It was a recorded message in Tamil and I didn't understand most of it. But no doubt a new tool for the politicians.
Then there have been the websites. I've been through the Congress & BJP websites. I must admit I've been quite impressed with both. Then there were sites like Jaago Re and Google helping out with details of the contestants. That was also welcome.
What surprises me most though is the pathetic state of the Election Commission web site. It's like all things to do with the Govt in this country. It's complex, horribly organized, and the voter's list is in Tamil and not in any other language. Wow!
Now I've made an effort to find out who the candidates are, what my parliamentary constituency is( strangely enough this is not mentioned in your Election ID Card), what the agendas are of the political parties etc. And I still feel I don't know enough. I mean here I am, an educated guy, with access to the Net, TV, Newspapers and other Media and I still don't have the relevant info. What could be more weird than that?
The Election Commission has been doing fantastic work in having free & fair elections in our country. But it clearly needs to do more.
It needs to be more pro-active about furnishing information and this information should be made available in all the official languages of the country.
The Election ID Card should have all required details in it. You shouldn't have to go about searching what your constituency is every time.
It should also play a leading role in getting the electorate to know it's candidates better. I know that there will be many of you arguing that this is the duty of the candidate and not the Commission. But in keeping with the spirit of public funding of elections and equal opportunity for all candidates it is imperative that the Commission steps in. As a start the Commission could come out with a pamphlet/newsletter containing the details and agendas of all the candidates contesting the election in the particular constituency. Then there should be a forum where the public should be able to see these people actually debate their manifestos. I think this would go a long way in informing the voter.
Let's hope things change soon. In the meanwhile I'm happy I can vote. Jai Hind.

Days after the Exams

2009-05-11T22:20:00.003+05:30

Well it's been exactly a week since my final exams got over in coll. Apart from figuring out that I will never attempt anything of that sort again I haven't been on to anything-yet.
Then there were the farewell parties. It's been a week of "good times" for me. I've enjoyed it. Been hanging out at pubs. Caught almost every game of the IPL this last week. I haven't blogged because once you're inebriated it becomes a little difficult to type. : ). I've been hogging all the time. I've eaten at all my favourite joints. It's been one long carnival. Said good-bye to a few friends. Don't know when I'll be meeting them next.
It's time for me to decide what I want to do with my life. I can't make up my mind. There are so many things that look good. There are others that are horrible. But then everythin has it's plus and minus points. It's so hard to be objective about these things. Should you be objective about these things? You see my line of thinking and why I'm in this state of inaction?
I don't want an ordinary life. I'd rather just jump of a cliff. I want to do something different. Something exravagant. Something that involves a lot of travelling. Something that will allow me time to read, mix with different people, give me time for myself. Something that's challenging everyday. That refreshes me. That's dynamic and useful. Ya I'm after the dream job that everyone wants but noone gets.
Look I'm just about to start here. So be a little understanding right. Give me ideas. I'll be grateful. Don't load me with scepticism and sarcasm. Help me think up something.
I'll be eagerly looking for ideas. Thanks.

Kasper's Birthday

2009-05-08T22:52:00.003+05:30

Yesterday was Kasper's birthday. He's eight now. It seems like only yesterday we brought him home as a small pup.
Kasper is an 'all-black' Daschund. From what I've seen so far that's a rarity, and that makes him special.
Kasper is the ultimate 'brat'. The little fella used to bite and destroy the furniture. We've had to change our sofa set thanks to his exploits. He'd do his big job in the most unusual places in the house. Often we'd find out that he'd crapped only after we got the stench! It was one big relief when we finally got him potty trained.
One of my most favourite scenes of him is him trying to climb the stairs when he was a real small pup. The gap between steps was just too much for him. So he has his fore-legs on the front steps and then he's trying to lift his behind. But all he could manage was to wiggle his backside.
I still remember going to the Vet to select a dog. He had these puppies playing on the table and Kasper caught my eye immediately. And in one of those strange coincidences that life is he was the guy all four of us wanted. And so we brought him home. He has been by far the best thing to happen to us in Chennai.
I remember him holding on to Amma's sari from behind. Amma was just casually walking and she had no idea that she was dragging 'skater boy'.
Then there was the time the vet came and Dad was holding him but he escaped and I tried to catch him. But he was too fast and he got through in between my legs and I tripped and fell.
Till about three years ago he'd drink his milk only if Dad told him a story. Amma still loves feeding him by hand. She actually gets down on the floor and puts the food in Kasper's mouth. He's so spoilt that when she's around he refuses to eat any other way. My sister spoils him the most though. She's always coochie-cooing him. Always hugging him and patting him and buying things for him.
He usually sleeps on the bed. He has this habit of taking the centre of the bed and making it difficult for anyone else to lie down. And how much ever you nudge him and cajole him he won't move. Oh yes, he knows when the AC's on and he always manages to pounce on the bed before anyone else can.
I've tried to teach him to fetch a ball. He'll go fetch it all right. But then he comes back and as soon as you are ready to remove the ball from his mouth he runs away. That's Kasper.
And the bestest most delightful thing about him is how he jumps when you get back home. Especially if he's not seen you for a few days. Ah, then it's the welcoming of the century. It's simply incredible.
We've all got our nick names for him. We are all always vying with each other for his attention. He knows this and he uses it. That's the fun part.
One of the best things about the guy is when he suddenly comes and he rest his head on you. It could be your lap, or hand, or feet. He just puts his head there and he's off to sleep.
I love taking him for his walks. He starts of slowly but then picks up pace. He's a little nervous outside because of his small size. But you touch a raw spot and you've got yourself an opponent. There are innumerable instances of him trying to bark down Alsatians and Labradors.
Kasper you have been just incredible. Always stay the same. I love you Kasper. Have a super year ahead of you.

The half way stage of IPL-2

2009-05-05T11:22:00.005+05:30

Sorry people for not blogging these past few days. Been held up with a few things. Should be more regular now. So stay tuned!

Well we're at the half-way stage of the IPL with most teams having played 7-8 games. And for 7 of the 8 teams a semis birth still looks possible. We have an exciting couple of weeks ahead of us.

Chennai leads the table today. Yes the SUPER Super kings are on the rampage. They've won 3 games in a row. The momentum is all with them. And yes I'm a big fan. SO? It is the truth. Opponents Beware!
Dhoni has found his touch. Which means all the 'fast bowler raascaals' better 'mind it!'. With Vijay opening the line up and Jakati playing in place of Jogi Sharma the team has found the right balance. Things are looking good for Chennai. They have 6 games to go in the league stages and have to try and win 4 to ensure that they get in to the semis.
Mumbai is a team that's on-again, off-again. On certain days they look like they'll tear apart every other team. And on other days they look very ordinary. But with the likes of Tendulkar, Jayasuriya,Duminy, Bhajji and Malinga you can't afford to count them out.
Delhi and Deccan built momentum in the first few matches. But both have looked off colour their last few games. The top order in both teams has not performed consistently. Deccan especially relies too much on it's openers Gibbs and Gilchrist. These two teams are still among the best teams in the tournament with balanced sides and players in form. Delhi is probably the team of the tournament 'on form'.
Bangalore is a team inspired. Ever since Pietersen left the team has been playing brilliantly. Their win over Mumbai in the last game was just fantastic. Kumble has managed to bring spirit in to his boys and it shows with consistent performances on the field. Here's another team with momentum that should do well in the remaining games.
With Shane Watson returning to the Royals they are going to be a very formidable team. This team of under-dogs has so far managed to stay in the tournament by the skin of their teeth. I like these guys. They look short in every department of the game except fielding and spirit. I hope they make it to the semis.
Punjab should benefit from the returning Aussies. James Hopes and Simon Katich definitely add strength to what was already a good team. The main worry for this team though is the bowling. Irfan has lacked consistency. Yusuf Abdullah has been quite exceptional and he's the main reason that these boys are still in the tournament.
Ah and finally the Knights in shining armour. Right now this team is so down on luck that it couldn't win the lottery even if they bought all the tickets. The team is plagued by internal politics and rivalries. And the fault for all this lies squarely with coach Buchanan. He's wrecked the team. Technically they could still make it to the semis by winning all their matches. However, keeping technicalities aside, that looks a far possibility.

IPL-2 : CSK vs RR

2009-05-01T00:18:00.002+05:30

We're back people. Yes! Finally!
It feels so so so good to have a win under your belt. The Royals are not the formidable team of last year. But every game counts and every win even more.
It was a good win. Most experts on TV are saying it was comprehensive, but I don't want to go that far. On paper CSK are a far far better team than the Royals. Royals are without their two stars of the last season. They don't look even half as formidable as last time.
Suresh Raina put in a scintilating performance today. His 98 was one of the best knocks I've seen in any IPL match. It was extremely unfortunate for him to miss out on his century.
Badrinath came up the order and batted very well. Morkel bowled well. Dhoni did find some sort of touch with the bat. The new chap- Tyagi, also bowled quite decently. However, for my eyes, the Chennai team is still not playing to full potential.
The next game for the Chennai boys is with the Daredevils. Chennai will still be smarting from it's loss in the first leg game. Delhi are a very good side. It should be a great contest.